Hey all, I'm back at last. Sorry I haven't written in a while... schools been hell, and my life kinda has been too. It's been a tough last few weeks for me, and so I had to write. Please review whatever this turns out to be because it helps distract me from the haze my life has become.

Here goes the sequel to Losing Control. Based on actual experiences with me and my ex bf. Most of the convos actually happened and are quoted as directly as possible, changed slightly to fit with the plot. The whole thing hasn't ended yet, so when it does, so will this story, for the better or worst... and u guys can't get mad at me, cuz it's the way it happened!

I broke a promise...

I broke a promise...

Everyone will hate me. I can't tell.


"Breakfast time everyone!" yell I, shifting uncomfortably as Inuyasha grabs me around my waist. I forced a smile as continued stirring the pot of noodles as everyone grabbed their bowls.

One minute at a time, one meal at a time, one day at a time. Hang in there! If only it weren't so tough to be selfless..... but maybe you have to be selfish sometimes..... but then what?

"Kagome-chan?" Sango's voice breaks my reverie and I realize I'm in the hot spring with her, since when did that happen?

"Kagome-chan, what's wrong?" She questions.

"Wha? Nothings wrong." My canned response flows out almost seamlessly now.

"Yes there is, don't lie to me. The way you've been ignoring Inuyasha, staring off into space like you were just now." She scolds..... I am in for some more finger shaking. Tuning her out, I go to a quiet world where there was no one else. No uncertainty, no feelings, and no lectures.

"KAGOME!!" Sango snapped.

"Wha, where's the fire?!" I gasp, snatched from my perfect dreamland and tossed back into the harsh reality.

"Seriously Kagome-chan, I'm worried about you!"

"I can't tell....." I trail off, even THAT was too much to say. Too late now though.

"Tell me what?..... Don't be such an oni Kagome!" Sango is getting annoyed, and fast.

"I'm so stupid sometimes....." I sigh loudly, sinking into the warm water a few more inches.

"What? No you're not Kagome, if this is what it's about I'm getting out right now instead of trying to help you.

"If you'd just shut up for a moment, maybe I'd have have a bit of silence to think things out!" This is turning into a miniature cat-fight, and I can't deny it is annoying my already confused mind.

Sango was silent at last, giving peace to my soul.

"I'm not so sure I love Inuyasha anymore." I whispered, turning my nose towards the swirling water.

"WHAT?!" Sango started, her eyes wide with surprise.

"SHHHH, keep it down!"

"Since when?! Why haven't you told me?!" Sango demanded in a loud whisper.

"Since... I don't know, and imagine if I told him! It would ruin everything! It would break up the shard group, break our friendship, everything!"

"Kagome-chan, that still doesn't change the fact that you don't love him! Are you sure though?"

"I'm pretty damn sure! This happens every time I think I love someone, my mind fails me!"

"If it's a pattern for you, then break it! Win against your mind. I know you Kagome, I know how you feel now and I think it's still there."

"When I'm around him, I don't feel the connection anymore, I don't really feel that bond..... it's just gone. Like when I talk to him, I'm not there all the way you know?"

"You two just seemed so right for each other! When you were together I could see that connection....." Sango seems sad now, staring at the same water my eyes are so affixed to.

"What should I do?" I break the impending silence before it attacks.

"You should stop trying to be so selfless and do something for yourself for once! If you think it'll make YOU happy, then tell him what you just told me!"

"I can't though! I can't stand hurting people like that....."

"Do it Kagome-chan! You have to do it now or else you're never going to do it!" Sango urges me silently.

I drag my stone feet forth, towards certain doom and more. Words are caught in my throat mingled with forgotten breaths.

Do something for yourself for once.

The weight on my feet lightens and I move forward towards him. He has already sensed something is wrong and is awaiting my words.

"I-I-inuyasha?" I stutter.

"Hey." He mumbles.

"Hey..... Inuyasha..... Um... I really don't think this relationship is working out too well, and I think we should just be friends." I blurt.

"What?" he is astounded, though suspecting it I do not doubt.

"I'm just not with his relationship anymore..... wow that was hard to say..... But can we still be friends?"

"Ok."

"Yah..... cool."

"I have some.... Work to do..... so yah, see you." Inuyasha's voice is a little shaky but otherwise unaffected.

Each step he takes away from me my heart lightens. I did it! My soul is free to roam alone once again. My heart jumps for joy and my mind rejoices. Maybe I shouldn't be this happy, but oh the joy I feel!

"Did you do it?" Sango asks to my smiling face.

"Yes, and I feel GREAT!" I beam.

"See?! What did I say?" Sango smiles, glancing off in the direction Inuyasha disappeared in.

He won't talk to me, and I'm too shy to talk to him. We ignore each other for the most part, so much for being friends. Sango says I should try and talk to him, and I just tell her she should try talking to someone who ignores her. It's hard seeing him every day, that's why I'm going home tomorrow. Somehow, I don't think he'll stop me this time. I'll come back, I just need some time to think things out.

At home now, my happiness I once felt has left me now. I should have known it was temporary. My mom asked about Inuyasha, and why he wasn't there with me. I told her that I ended it and you should have seen the look on her face. But I've been thinking too much lately, and I am thinking just how happy I was with Inuyasha, and how good he was to me, and how lonely I am now. I am realizing that maybe I really do love him after all. Yeah, some time to realize this Kagome! I'm such an idiot sometimes it scares me. I want something, I get it, and decide I don't want it, get ride of it and decide I want it again! How MANY times do I have to change my mind before I am happy with my decision.

That's all for today, I need to write the real version now too. Tell me if you want me to post the real version too, I'll still continue with this version if I did that. Thank you all for writing, I hope you'll decide to review and give me some guidance, which I am in real need of