Fred and George


Disclaimer- all characters and Weasley products that you recognise are JKRs, all settings belong to JKR and the words belong to the English language.

Summary- Fred and George doing what they do best. One-shot, although I might make is longer if asked.

Archive- Of course. If you'd be so kind as to mention it on your way out.

A/N- I'm trying to get into the habit of writing characters that I don't normally write and it's Fred and George's turn today. I'm still writing and posting my other fic 'Welcome to the Wizarding World', this is just a fun break. The first line comes from a challenge. I must say that I enjoyed writing through Fred and George, funnier characters have yet to be invented.
"Who would have thought that Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger would be that upset over being trapped in the prefects' bathroom?" said Fred loudly as he and his twin started piling bacon onto their plates.

The choking sound coming from Ron, who had just started on his sausages, was quite amusing.

"You locked them in the bathroom?" he rasped. "Together?"

"No," said George.

"We wouldn't dream of it," said Fred. George waited until Ron had taken a relieved sip of pumpkin juice.

"Lee did it actually."

Fred remarked later that the distance of spray had been quite impressive. Harry (who'd had the bad luck to be sitting opposite Ron) had been totally covered in juice.

"Aw don't fret Ronnie."

"We're sure our favourite bushy haired prefect kept her hands to herself."

"Incidentally Malfoy does seem to be in a good mood this morning." said Fred.

"Mm..." George added evilly. "He even forgot to trip up those Hufflepuff first years." Sometimes their brother was so pliable. It bordered on pathetic.

"Stop winding up Ron!" Angelina, a smudge of ink on still her mouth from sucking a Weasley's Wizard Wheezes Quick-mess Quill by accident last night, sat down and began piling up some fried bread.


"Ina!" said George. "You look faboo today, did we tell you that?"

"Blue lipstick is really your colour."

"Shut up," she snapped. "How many of those quills did you put in my bag anyway?"

"Ina? You really want to blame us?" George pouted.

Angelina opened her mouth, perhaps to inform them that yes, she did blame them. But she was cut off.

"-yes-"the twins chorused. They spun around in their seats to face a terrified looking third year by the name of Horace Wimbledon.

"I saw those really cool quills you were testing on Angelina last night," Angelina harrumphed, "and I was wondering if they were available to buy." The first year was looking upon Fred and George in the way one might look upon God. "Me and Forrest were going to try them out on Flitwick."

"Three sickles each," said George.

"The perfect prank for those whose friends have a habit of sucking their quills- hollow all the way through and suddenly they have a mouthful of ink," rattled off Fred.

"For the serious prankster-" here George gave the Horace a look that implied that he had the makings of a serious prankster, "we have permanent pills! Drop one of those in the victim's ink and they have an ink stain that'll last weeks." Horace blushed pink but looked on eagerly.

"As demonstrated by our lovely assistant here..." Fred waved vaguely towards Angelina. She scowled again and hid her mouth behind the bread.

"The pills are a galleon for ten. Don't swallow them."

"Also remember," said Fred conspiratorially, "if you can get a photo of the person you pranked and are willing to let us use it for advertising, we'll pay you a Galleon per photograph-"

"-two if it's McGonagall, five if it's Snape, and-"

"-fifteen for Umbridge-" they chorused.

Horace paid up and walked away with three Quick-mess Quills, and a pack of Permanent Pills.

"Just what are you doing?" demanded a strict voice.

"We didn't sell him anything Professor!" said George.

"We were being admirable students lending a poor little third year our Quills," added Fred.

"Oh, it's you Hermione."

"I must say that was a corking impression of McGonagall, really strict."

"Have you ever considered show-business?"

"So how is our favourite Prefect today?"

"Hey!" grumbled Ron.

"Oh don't feel left out Ron, you're our favourite brother-"

"Second favourite at least-" interrupted George.

"Perhaps third- but definitely above Percy."

"Never mind that," snapped Ron. "What's this about you and Malfoy?"

The twins sighed as though they would at a puppy who had literally just messed up his house training.

"Honestly Ron."

"How thick can you be?" said Fred.

"We made it up don'cherknow," said George.

"To get a reaction."

"That's all we are at heart you know-"

"-attention seekers."

"You should have pity on us-" said George.

"-have a laugh at your own expense."

"Especially if that expense is more than a Galleon."

"Now if you don't mind," said Fred, gulping down his last slice of crispy bacon, "we have to go find Lee."

George attempted to hide the last pieces of his soggy bacon under his egg white.

"He's lost his tarantula. Do tell us if you've seen it. The last thing we need is it getting into someone's bed."

"Incendentally- did you sleep well last night Ron. You look very peaky."
Well there you are, please tell me what you thought of my foray into Weasley territory. like I say, if I get enough interest I'll definitely continue this.