A/N: Okay… I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing, but I'm on my bed, it's hideously late and I'm not allowed to touch the laptop, which I obviously am touching. (duh) So, this is just a spur of the moment idea… I'm not even sure what I'm babbling about right now… sooo… I'll just start typing, shall I?
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter and the oh so handsome Sirius Black.
A/N: I know I'm annoying, but I can't resist. This is dedicated to Sirius, because… well because he's such a fantastic person who has been through so much… and I just want to write something about him. This diary will be composed from my imagination and some random thoughts that I sometimes have. Note that it's written as an impulse, so I can't guarantee the quality.
D'you know what I got for Christmas! A Diary! It's supposed to help me 'channel my negative emotions and anger towards understanding and sanity' to quote McGonagall's exact words!
I am a very understanding and sane person, thank you very much!
And did I mention handsome?
But the fact is, I receive this lousy book consisting of papers that have been mercilessly killed to waste ink, precious time and energy that could be far more productively spent on tormenting Slytherins! As if I would ever even use this stupid book! Who in their right mind would want to waste time writing anyway-
But come to think of it, I have to be the first student in all of Hogwarts to receive a Christmas present from McGonagall, right?
I think she's warming up to me.
But, this was after I locked several Slytherins in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom…
And blew up one of the chandeliers in the Great Hall…
Oh… and chopped down one of the old trees near the lake in order to get to this cat that was on it.
But I had a good reason for that! I swear!
That annoying feline was looking funny at me.
It even licked itself.
Now, if that isn't a good reason for me to cut down a several hundred year old tree, I don't know what is.
Still, I feel special.
Prongs is looking at me all funny. I think it might have something to do with the fact that he's never seen me writing before.
Now he's looking all curious and annoyed because I am gazing at you intently in order to arouse his suspicions.
I'm doing a really good job if I do say so myself.
Prongs has just said, 'I know what you're doing, Padfoot! And it is not going to work!'
I, in return, have moved to a corner of my bed and have hunched over.
Have caught sight of self in mirror, must say, am looking very mysterious.
Have also seen Prongs's reflection, his eyebrow is twitching.
Prongs: It's still not working!
Me: (huddled further away from him, noticed his eyebrow is twitching more.)
May have to stop writing soon, think he's going to come over and AAHHHH- (violent slash of ink over here making it seem as though two people were wrestling for the quill.)
Now have ink over nose.
Ink that is very hard to wash off.
If one wonders how I have acquired such wisdom, it would be from scrubbing it for the past hour.
But still look very handsome.
Have just realized that I can use magic.
Thanks for nothing you stupid book.
Just so you know, I'm now going to give you silent treatment.
I don't care that I don't talk to you in the first place!
Now hush, and face the silent icy wrath of Sirius Orion Black!
I forgive you!
Let's now hug in a disgustingly sweet fashion that characters in those Muggle things that move in boxes always do so some mushy music will start playing!
You don't have arms do you?
Note the time in which I have picked for this special occasion to occur.
For, I, have just realized the ultimate gift which I am currently bestowing upon this world.
The ability to one day read the thoughts of the great Sirius!
Yes, I do know how amazingly generous and humane I am.
Ah, the pressures of being me.
Not only that, I will now name you, so if ever I'm annoyed, I can curse you.
See, instead of me saying, 'Damn that stupid Book!', I will be able to say, 'Damn that stupid… umm…'
Maybe I should think of a name first.
In a fit of inspiration, I have come up with a brilliant and magnificent name!
Wait for it…
(drum roll, please.)
Don't give me that look.
And don't you dare start the argument that you happen to be a book and cannot give people looks.
I'll think of something else.
You don't appreciate my creativity.
Philip Johnson Martinez d' Boneville III!
For cripes sake, why are you so picky!
Now I've got it.
Sirius Orion Black!
That's my name isn't it?
No wonder why it sounded so perfect.
Ah well, we can't all be me.
Because if we were, the world wouldn't be able to take all that perfection.
(And, yes, I do know that my time sense is distorted. But I'm tired, live with it.)
I have decided, and this time, I am in no way changing my decision!
This does not have anything to do with the fact that while frolicking with the rest of the Marauders in my Animagus form, I happened to itch rather badly.
It has nothing to do with it, at all.
I have not in anyway named you this just so I can berate them whenever I happen to attract those damn insects.
Sigh, the curse of being so attractive.
See, how good that sounded?
Well… you can't actually see sounds can you?
And it isn't even night anymore.
Good morning, Fleas.
Once again, I have obviously made the right choice.
(Rather large smudge indicating that person has fallen asleep onto a page of wet ink.)
A/N: I know, rather pointless isn't it? But this is written in less than an hour and I'm tired. I'm not sure if I want to continue this, I'm just bored, really. Also note, that this probably happens around or after 5th year, I'm too lazy to work it out now, I may decide it later on if I continue this. This is meant to be humor and may evolve to romance if I feel like it. I hope you realize that this is merely a side project that I use to vent my boredom and frustration, so I could either update really fast or really slow.
Well… if you have any ideas as to what Sirius should babble about, feel free to suggest it!