Title: Admissions

Sam/Jack, AU-ish, pg-13

Summary: "Sam," he began, purposely using her first name, foreign to his lips after so many years of buried feelings. "I can't take the risk anymore. Without-" he stopped, hesitant, "…It's just empty. There's nothing. ...I can't lose you."

Author's Notes:(hugs) to Angel Leviathan, if it weren't for her I never would have posted this because I didn't like it. But she beta-ed it and tweaked it a little and now I like it a little better.

xxx

Cold.

Alone.

Lost.

Sam was gone. His Sam was gone.

xxx

She screamed. A blood-chilling scream.

He couldn't remember much after that. Screams. Blood. Tears. Admissions.

"I love you, Jack."

Unmoving eyes.

A sob.

"Sam."

Whispered.

Knees falling to hard earth.

Hand in hand.

"Jack, we have to move."

Daniel.

Tears.

Nothing left to move for.

Nothing left to live for.

Cold.

Empty.

Gone.

xxx

Jack awoke with a start, sweat pouring from his body. Three times in three nights. Coincidence?

For once Jack was not going to take the easy way out.

xxx

"Colonel?" Sam asked, sleepily. "What are you doing here? It's almost 04:00."

"I need to talk to you."

His voice held so much emotion that she forced her brain awake and invited him inside.

xxx

He fiddled with the sleeves of his jacket. The magazine on her coffee table. His own hands.

"Colonel, what's wrong?"

"Call me Jack," he instructed, quietly.

Taken aback, she tried not to show it. "…Jack, talk to me. What's wrong?"

xxx

Flashes.

Unmoving eyes.

A sob.

"Sam."

Whispered.

xxx

"Jack!"

He looked up to meet her worried eyes. Eyes that held such an array of emotions – all for him.

"I can't do this anymore," he whispered, meeting her eyes with urgent confidence.

"Can't do what, Sir?"

"Jack," he insisted.

She looked slightly uncomfortable. "Jack."

"Waiting. Risking."

"Waiting for what? Risking what?"

"You."

xxx

Cold.

Empty.

Gone.

xxx

He never wanted to feel such despair again.

"I don't understand."

"I had a dream."

xxx

She screamed. A blood-chilling scream.

xxx

"About what?"

"You. Dying."

She let a small "oh" slip, sitting back slightly.

"It scared me, Sam."

xxx

Alone.

xxx

"You were gone. I'd never see you again. Never hear you laugh at my jokes when no one else does, never watch you play with your doohickeys, never again see your eyes light up at a new experiment."

She looked stunned.

xxx

Knees falling to hard earth.

Hand in hand.

"Jack, we have to move."

xxx

He pushed on.

"Sam," he began, purposely using her first name, foreign to his lips after so many years of buried feelings. "I can't take the risk anymore. Without-" he stopped, hesitant, "…It's just empty. There's nothing. ...I can't lose you."

Her eyes slightly moist, her control wavering, she tentatively took a hold of his hand in hers, before pulling him into a hug.

xxx

Nothing left to move for.

Nothing left to live for.

xxx

"I…" she attempted to speak, pulling back slightly.

"I think this must be the first time I've ever seen you speechless," he quipped.

She smiled, it reaching her eyes.

xxx

Nothing left to live for.

xxx

This was what he lived for.

"What do we do now?" she finally asked, softly.

"I don't know."

She looked up at him.

"All I know is that I don't ever want that to happen."

"Me neither," she whispered. "About you, I mean," she added, hastily.

It was his turn to smile.

xxx

Screams. Blood. Tears. Admissions.

xxx

He needed to know. "Where do you…"

She cut him off. "I stand where you stand."

"What do we do now?" he repeated her earlier question.

Roles reversed.

"I don't know."

She smiled shyly.

"Seven years…"

xxx

"I love you, Jack."

Fin