- Simplicity -
Written by: hikari -adriana s-
Date: May 18th, 2004.
Disclaimer: Anna, Hao, and the rest of the Shaman King characters aren't mine.
I pay close attention as I hear you speak of feelings I'd thought you didn't even know about, you didn't possess. You talk about affection, desire, admiration, and passion. You talk about love. And somehow, I knew you were saying the truth, your tired eyes told me so.
But, weren't you the one who fought his own human emotions, who had so much hatred within himself for mankind and its weaknesses?
Why, of all people, did you choose to love me?
I watch your aged smile and your dark-grey eyes; the skin however is young and tanned. Your boyish posture and calmness is quite a sight. Your unbreakable serenity is certainly admirable. Your long, red-brown hair billows with the wind along with the dirty, tattered cloak as your gloved hand reaches for my face.
Hazel eyes wide, I halt away almost immediately, partly frightened and shocked, partly angered and offended. I tighten the shawl around me, it's near sunrise and the air is somewhat chilly. Not that it bothers me, though.
Would I love you, you ask?
Why would I want to love you, Hao Asakura, the destroyer? Why would I want to leave him and go with you? Why would I want to leave and forget everything else, forget about Yoh? Why would I even want to think of you as something else than what you are?
A mad man, a poor man, a lost man… That's what you are.
Why would I, then?
If you've brought nothing but pain to our lives. If you once already have taken what I cared the most for and almost shattered my… our dreams. Know that I've forgiven you, but I'm not willing to get hurt at your expenses anymore.
Now you come and bring me a silent offer, one I can't accept, I won't accept.
Because the one I worry about every day is not you… The one I'll always pray for is not you… The one I'll wait patiently by the door is not you… The one I always want to be with is not you.
Because the smiles I cherish are not yours… The dreams and goals I share are not yours…
Because the one I love is not you.
I love him, and you know that all too well. I love Yoh, even when I'm not about to admit that to him just now or anytime soon for the matter.
Go away with your unwanted love. Please never come back saying that you love me; go find someone else who'll make you happy, someone you really deserve.
And I hope you do, and that you find the happiness you want, you need. I'm not trying to be too harsh, too bold or hurt you and your feelings. You've had enough, you've suffered enough, no matter who you are or what you did.
It is simply that… it's not you.
A/N: I just wanted to write about Anna's thoughts about Hao if the situation was presented. Simple, short, and not over the verge of mush. I liked it actually. - Please review! I'd be really happy if you do.