I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkk!! Well, you haven't seen me in a while, but now it's summer and I have plenty of time to write stories. This story is basically the aftermath of Dean and Rory's affair. And following the pattern of all my other stories, don't be surprised if, oh I don't know, cough cough TRISTAN appears in the very near future. Because this is going to be Tristan and Rory's story. But Dean will be playing a very large role in this.

Oh, and for the record, I love dean. I am a major dean fan. I was so totally stoked that they had a little affair on the show. (not that I support affairs or anything, but you have to admit, it was a very exciting (and on my part predictable) plot point, don't you think?)

So, if you are a fellow dean lover, don't worry, he won't be bashed too badly in this story like he is in my other ones. But if you hate him and you hate this story line, well, my story just kind of starts with this one and evolves. Just read and find out.


Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. And I don't own the characters. Just my ideas and any new characters that might pop up.

Chapter One: Guilt

"So now what do I do?" she asked in despair. She was curled up in a ball on the front steps, head on her knees, feeling awful.

"I don't know, honey. I just don't know what to tell you."

She lifted her head and turned to her best friend. "Please Mom, you must have some kind of advice for me. You are more experienced with these things than I am."

Lorelai looked at her daughter and smiled sadly. "I get pregnant and drop out of school. You sleep with married men. Unfortunately hon, we're both covering completely different territory."

Rory groaned and put her head back in her hands. "I can't believe I was so stupid."

"You weren't thinking," Lorelai agreed.

"I always think. I always plan things out. I make schedules, lists. I'm not spontaneous. I think every action through a hundred times before I do it. I never let Jess- I always stopped with him. Why was I so careless with Dean? And he's married. I can't believe I actually just had an affair. I'm awful, terrible. I deserve to die."

"You don't deserve to die," Lorelai answered sternly. "But that's not to say what you did wasn't wrong. I'm not going to lie to you and pretend that everything you did tonight was all right, because it's not. Dean is a married man, and as far as we know he has no definite plans of changing his status."

"He told me he wanted a divorce."

"But he hasn't told Lindsay."

"I can't believe I didn't think of that at the time. What do I do? I can't go to Lindsay. That would kill her. But how can I see her around town and look her in the eye?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Ror. This is the first time we've had to deal with anything like this."

"I never stopped loving him."

"I know."

"That's what makes this so hard Mom. My heart tells me that what we did was right. That we were meant to be together. And then my brain steps in and shouts how wrong the whole situation is."

"Don't you wish we could rewind our lives fifteen years, and your biggest guilt would be over stealing a cookie from the cookie jar?" Lorelai said.

"I would only rewind our lives two years and never broken up with Dean."

Lorelai sighed. "It's easy to play the What If game."

"Too easy," Rory nodded.

"We won't get anywhere by sitting out here tonight. Let's just go to bed. We'll figure it all out in the morning."

"We have to go back to the inn."


"We've been gone way too long," Rory pointed out.

"You should just stay here tonight."

"I don't want everyone in town to find out. I should just come back with you. It will cause less suspicion. God I hope no one finds out about this."

Lorelai sighed and they stood up.

"I'm so sorry Mom."

"Why are you apologizing to me?"

"I don't know, I just feel like it's in order here."

"If anyone is apologizing, it should be me. Lately I have made the inn first priority in my life. If I had just put that back for a little while- I didn't even know you were interested in Dean again. I'm sorry for not being as involved in your life as I used to."

They walked in silence to the car and drove back to the Dragonfly Inn, both of them consumed in their own guilt.