A/N: Sorry it took so long to get a chapter out. My life has been hectic, not to mention I had lost the inspiration to write…
Can anyone recommend me some really funny LotR fictions? I need some humor. Or Aragorn angst. I want some Aragorn angst as well… if you can recommend anything, I would be very grateful!
Recap: Aragorn, the King of Gondor for now 10 years, searches the land for lords to join his Parallelogram Table. Thus far Faramir and Legolas have joined, along with three 'horses' and a band of minstrels. Meanwhile, Éowyn had gone to Minas Tirith to join Arwen in her women's rights movement.
Disc: See Chapter One.
Chapter Five: Journey to Rohan
The King of Gondor, the Prince of Eryn Lasgalen, and the Prince of Ithilien rode on towards Rohan, where they hoped to get a reliable source of transportation. But for now, they'd have to play pretend… but why did they have to? Because it's funny, that's why.
They rode the main road of Ithilien due North, making for the Cross-roads. Once they reached the Cross-roads, they planned on cutting northwest through Ithilien to reach the fords of Cair Andros quicker. There, they would cross the Anduin and follow it upon the west bank until they arrived at the beginning of the river Entwash, where they would follow its winding path to Rohan and thus to Éomer's halls.
The trip would be long, they all knew, but worth it. Though they trek for over three hundred miles without much rest, they did it in the name of the Parallelogram Table, and for the good of all Middle-earth. And not to mention, of course, the fact that they wanted their horses back.
After a couple of days of easy going, they reached the Cross-roads. The road so far had been easy going and peaceful, with new shoots finally springing upon the beaten dirt as they hadn't done for many years. Old trees that had not been cut down by orcs but were still severely maimed on Mordor's borders were once again filled with life. Indeed, ever since the coming of the Elves to Ithilien, the place seemed lovelier than ever before. Always in the background as they traveled was the chirping of birds and the light singing of Legolas' minstrels.
The Cross-roads looked in much better condition than when Aragorn last saw them ten years ago. The old statue of the king had been fully restored, and the trees did not look dark and gnarled. Flowers were all in bloom around the statue, and Aragorn smiled at the majesty of kings.
To the east, but a few miles away, lay the old city of Minas Ithil, or Minas Morgul. Though dread and sorcery still linger in the former layer of the Witch-king, the place did not seem nearly as formidable as ten years ago. To make the place even less, Gondor has been striving to rename it. Aragorn's suggestion of calling it 'Minas Elessar' was quickly put down. Finally, Gondor's officials decided to name it 'Minas Happy Place', but the name still hasn't been taken up by most of the people.
They camped out at the crossroads for the night, and then headed to the fords of Cair Andros. While they crossed through Ithilien, they surprisingly came upon no one. Their passing was slow and unnoticed, which was a nice change from their busy lives.
Finally, they came upon the fords of Cair Andros at the ending of the fifth day of their travel. Right next to the Anduin was a small establishment but a few years old. This small fishing community was faring much better than Osgiliath, probably due to the fact that it was near more resources and lived next door to the Elves of Ithilien.
A bridge had been built connecting the western shore to the eastern shore. In the middle was the island of Cair Andros, where was being built a smaller village. Aragorn and his companions received many bows and murmured 'my lords' as they headed over to the newly built inn on the island.
To say that the innkeeper was surprised would have been an understatement. He immediately prepared bed for the lords with pride, and sent his son to prepare bed for the horses with confusion.
Once Aragorn, Legolas, Faramir, and the minstrels were seated, and the horses were sleeping peacefully in the stables, the wife approached the large company.
"What will it be, honnies?" she asked in a practiced voice. She took a quill from behind her ear and held a piece of parchment in her hand. She stared questionably at the group.
One of the minstrels spoke… or, sang… up.
"What shall it be, what shall it be?
What shall I eat, what shall I eat?
What shall I have, what shall I have?
Fruits, breads or meats, fruits, breads or meats?"
The other four minstrels sang along.
"What shall we have at this time?
What shall we dine on?
What shall we feast at this bench?
Apples or chick-on?"
The first minstrel was about to sing another verse when the woman cut him off. "Look, we already have the local children's choir sing 'Twinkle, twinkle, Eärendil' every Thursday, we don't need-"
The first minstrel started on another song.
"Twinkle, twinkle, Eärendil
I really want your silmaril
Brightly shining through the night
Brings love, life, and lots of light
Twinkle, twinkle, Eärendil
I really want your silmaril."
"Shut up!" she glared at the minstrel, and then at Legolas. "I don't care who you are, but I don't want no men-"
"Elves," he corrected.
"-Elves singing in my inn!" She pointed her quill threateningly at Thranduil's son. "Now, are you gonna make an order or make me stand her like a servant here all night?"
They left early the next morning, catching a few of the fishermen going to the docks, or merchants opening their shops, or even children skipping merrily to school (if that's possible). They left the town with little incident, and with their horses fresh, and supplies restocked, they went with higher spirits and renewed confidence that they would find even more lords to join the Parallelogram Table.
Not too funny, but I was slightly brain dead.
RESPONSE TO REVIEWS:
None, as it has been near five months and I am too lazy…