This is just something I thought of one morning, and had the idea to make it into a short one chapter mini-fic. There probably won't be a continuation, but who knows, anything is possible. Remember though, I am right in the middle of my exams!
I do not own the map nor any of the characters or situations, they belong to J. K. Rowling. I am not getting any money out of this, simply a break from revising all day long…
This is an updated version, published 9th May 06. The original version, published 6-13-04, is saved on my computer, if you wish to read it. I have tried to keep all the original map commentary, but readers should know that some of this textis 2 years old, and I am no longer quite so prejudiced against Wormtail!
Fred and George Weasley sat in one of the few secluded corners of the Gryffindor common room, their table scattered with books, parchment, quills and ink of various colours. It was nearing 2 AM.
The Marauders Map lay precariously on the edge of the table, active but overlooked and discarded. An invisible wind rustled it, and pushed it over the edge andonto the floor.
Fred and George were instantly silenced. They paused to look at each other, then crouched lower to look under the table. Sliding sideways off the sofa, George moved round to swoop the map up in one steady movement, and returned to his seat.
Even from the first glance it was obvious there was something very not right about the mysterious object. Instead of showing all of Hogwarts with its grounds and inhabitants, the map had cleared itself a large space in the middle of the parchment, a stripped rectangle surrounded by a border of corridors and enchanted rooms. Inspecting the parchment closer, George saw a rough yet neat handwriting begin to scrawl upon the cleared space.
"'What in Merlin's name do you think you are doing?'"
"What?" Fred asked, completely bewildered as to why his twin would say such a thing. George shook his head and motioned his down towards the map, which he passed to Fred.
More writing appeared on the map, in the same handwriting.
Mr Moony says what do you think you are doing?
The twins exchanged glances again, and then began to silently read the new writing that had appeared, this time in a much scruffier hand.
'Mr Padfoot asks Mr Moony what he is doing, and tells him to stop writing.'
'Mr Moony asks why, and says these crafty twins need our guidance.' The neat handwriting replied.
'Mr Prongs thinks it's an ingenious idea, and thinks that the legend of the Marauders can live on in these two boys.' A third, slightly less rough yet not as neat handwriting joined into the written conversation. The two boys watched wordlessly. There was a pause.
'Mr Wormtail asks what is going on.' The forth was written in fairly big untidy writing, which was quite a contrast to the previous lines.
Fred glanced unsteadily at his brother. He plucked up the courage to talk, feeling very foolish about questioning a piece of parchment.
"Mr Weasley asks what is wrong with our plan."
There was a pause before the first, neatest handwriting started to write again, this time with a long, involved answer.
'Whilst Mr Padfoot and Mr Prongs often came up with very ingenious and often silly plans-'
'Mr Padfoot comments, Hey!'
'Mr Moony tells Mr Padfoot to shut up and let him write. Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs were renowned pranksters of our time, but when plotting most of the plans at the beginning of our terror of Hogwarts, they were usually flawed in the fact that they could easily be tracked back to the Marauders. Whilst Messrs Padfoot and Prongs determinedly competed in getting more and more detentions (in order to better their own personal records), Mr Moony and Mr Wormtail were not too happy…'
'Mr Wormtail for being dragged into detention cleaning out bed pans'
'Mr Moony for having to endure the embarrassment of being associated with poorly executed pranks and badly cast spells, which he swears he could have done better.'
'Mr Padfoot and Mr Prongs shyly attempts to apologise to Mr Moony, and say they did not know he felt so embarrassed about some of our thwarted prank attempts.'
'Mr Wormtail whispers 'show off'!'
'Mr Moony comments that neither of you were turned purple with green hair by the Slytherin's because of it.'
'Mr Wormtail remembers that time fondly, and adds, 'Ha Ha!''
'Mr Moony is now regretting letting Mr Wormtail write himself into the map with the rest of the Marauders, and is considering the best way of removing him'
'Mr Wormtail promptly stops laughing, and is currently quaking in fear, trying to apologise to Mr Moony without wetting his metaphorical underwear.'
'Mr Moony says he'll think about it.'
George found his voice, and angrily asked (or, well as angrily as you can be with a piece of parchment which talks/writes back to you, that has currently been telling off its other inhabitants) "What part of our plan is faulty?"
'Mr Wormtail comments, that's what he want's to know.'
'Mr Moony ignores Mr Wormtail, and tells his apprentices that their plan to spike the Slytherin's water goblets with hair colouring potion has been done before, with minimal success. The prank was easily traced back to the Marauders by Professor Flitwick somehow, and ended up back in detention again- and this time doing less easy things then cleaning painting frames.'
'Except for Mr Wormtail, who had to clean out the hospital bed pans again.'
'Mr Padfoot concluded that Professor Flitwick had yet to grow up.'
'Mr Moony suggests that you exchange the hair colouring potion with a time delayed silencing one, as it is less obvious at first, and so less successfully traced. It is also advisable not to use a house elf to spike the drinks, and that is the easiest way to execute a plan like this, and in turn is the easiest way to trace back to the perpetrators of the crime.'
'Mr Prongs wonders how Mr Moony has suddenly morphed into a professor, and tells him to SNAP OUT OF IT.'
'Mr Padfoot thinks that Mr Moony had done a very good impression of Professor Boyle, and tells Mr Prongs to lighten up.'
'Mr Moony gives his deepest thanks to Mr Padfoot, and advises him and Mr Prongs to get back to the point.'
'Mr Padfoot suggests that the Marauders now retreat back into the map, and let the young Weasley twins continue scheming on their own.'
'Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Padfoot, and hopes that their plan goes more successfully then the Marauders one.
'Mr Moony bids the Weasley twins good luck, and best wishes for future pranks.'
'Mr Wormtail says, bye.'
The writing on the map then started to dissolve back into the parchment from the top down, and the normal layout of the building and its grounds slowly began to reappear in its wake. Fred and George looked at it for a little longer, before they started to talk about their pranks again, this time adapting the new advice into the schemes.
They carried on like this long into the night, where they fell asleep on their sofa some time around four thirty in the morning, only to be re awoken by their little sister telling them to get down to breakfast. She spied the old piece of parchment left on the table before it was snatched up by the twins, glimpsing the words written on it with decades old ink,
Mr Padfoot bids the two young men good night, and reminds them to always make sure they get their mischief managed, but wishes them the best of luck for the future.
May the mischief of the Marauders live on forever!
A second chapter is being written.