Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, sadly lol

Summary: Harry and Draco end up getting an odd (not really........maybe) punishment for fighting for like the seven hundredth time, they must work together in Honeydukes! YUMMY CANDY plus slashiness! (wink wink)

This idea was starting off small but then it was beginning to nag me into typing it up so, here it is, this is also my pathetic excuse to test me humor skills which I probably don't have lol

Chapter One: Fight! Fight! Fight!


"Self centered!"

"I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Well then you're an ass smelling fucker!"

"Second next to you!"

Hermione and Ron both watched in utter shock as their best friend and enemy started tearing each others limbs out, wands askew.

"So," Ron said blankly, "how did this happen again?"

"No idea," replied the bushy haired Gryffindor.

"Should we pull them apart?"

"Why? They look like they're having fun."

"Riiiiiiiight, should we just call the professors or something?"


"Yeah, sure."

"Once again, I'm surprised that you're not cheering Harry or even IN the fight but...............let's go then."

Harry raised a fist and swung it across Draco's face causing him to stumble and fall over, nearly slamming his head first on the ground if he didn't stretch out his hand to stop the sudden crash.

The blond quickly kicked the raven haired boy, sending him to the floor too.

By now the students were leaving for their next class but started to crowd around the two fighting, some shocked and worried, others cheering the fight on.

"Filthy bloody muggle lover!" shouted Draco, standing over Harry and kicking down on his stomach nearly knocking the wind out of the other boy.

"Fucking gay fag!" yelled Harry, nearly choking the words out. He stood up and shoved the Slytherin harshly to the ground.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" the crowd kept cheering, gradually getting louder and louder. Colin Creevey happened to be in the crowd and was clicking away madly with his camera.

"Kick him in the stomach Harry!" he shouted.

"SILENCE!" the cheering students almost instantly shut up, a few running off. Professor McGonagall walked through the still crowded hall and found Draco and Harry at each others throats.

"Jeeze they're still at it?" Ron muttered to Hermione.

The deputy head pulled out her wand and muttered something that got Harry and Draco to suddenly jump away from each other almost by force.

"What happened?" McGonagall said murderously.

"No idea, they just started fighting," shrugged Ron.

"For no reason!? Again!?"

"Well they were shouting insults at each other in the beginning," said Hermione, looking at her raven haired friend a bit guiltily.

"These fights have GOT to stop, does detention not go through both your heads?" the professor looked angrily at the Gryffindor and Slytherin who were glaring at each other. "Are you two listening to me?"

"What professor?" Harry said through gritted teeth.

"Ugh! I can't STAND these fights. Granger, Weasley; get on to class while I deal with these two."

The two Gryffindors gave their friend one last guilty look before leaving.

"You two come with me," McGonagall turned and walked away, the two enemies walking behind her, muttering insults at each other.


"Cock sucker."

"Bite me!."

"Your mother!"

"How dare-"


"...............Shit head."

"Suck my balls Potter, I could care less."


"Careful, carefully," Albus Dumbledore kept muttering, tongue sticking out in concentration, he was playing exploding snap. "Perfect," he muttered as he picked up two more cards to finish the pyramid. "Mwahaha."

The knock on the door startled him making him jerk and make the pyramid explode.

"Noooo!" he moaned, "I was just bloody there!" the knock on the door came again. "Come in!"

The door opened and McGonagall walked in followed by the Gryffindor and Slytherin.

"Headmaster-oh my............"

"What?" there was a silence and he easily heard silent cracklings and the smell of fire, he looked down and gasped. "ACK!" the tips of his beard were on fire, slowly growing larger.

He hurriedly lifted the end of his beard towards him and blew on it quickly; the fire went out in an instant.

"There, no harm done," he said cheerfully, sweeping away the remnants of the exploding snap game from his desk with his arm. "So, what brings you all here?"

"They've been fighting again," McGonagall said, a bit taken aback at how Dumbledore put out the fire.

"Again?" whined the headmaster, he turned to the glaring duo, "boys, do you not understand? Peace and love will always prevail." He made a peace sign with his hand.

Their angry faces turned blank. "Er............what?" Harry raised an eyebrow, confused.

"Oh sorry, I was reading this muggle interview from the seventies lastnight-anyway! Why'd you bring them to me Minie?" he turned to McGonagall who blushed angrily at the nickname.

"They need a better punishment, obviously detention, even with SNAPE, never stops their fights."

"Oh," he looked a little blank then turned back to the sixth years, "why do you two always fight? Is it some kind of fetish?"

"NO!" shouted the Slytherin, "just the sight of him makes me want to tear him apart!"

"Same here!" the Gryffindor glared menacingly at Draco. Both ignored the fact they'd agreed on something.

"Well separating you both didn't work last time," Dumbledore muttered, tapping his chin with his finger in thought, "never did, really."

"So what do you propose?" McGonagall asked a bit worriedly.

"They should work together!"

The room went silent, the two youths looked horrified.

"Fucking no," Draco said in a low voice, narrowing his eyes at his headmaster. "You think of something else or-"

"Or what? Letter your father like the good spoilt brat you are?" sneered the Golden boy.

"At least I HAVE a father!"

Harry stood up, hands balled into fists.

"BOYS!" the room went silent again. "Thank you, and no, I won't think of something else since my mind is empty at the moment."

"More like all the time," muttered Draco.

"What will they have to do to together?" McGonagall asked, glaring at the blond.

"I believe Honeydukes is looking for help."

"Honeydukes?" Draco questioned, "fecking no."

"Why Honeydukes?" McGonagall asked. "Are they looking for helpers?"

"Yes, there was an ad on the Daily Prophet."

"Why?" Harry eyed the man he usually trusted.

"Well that'll be your punishment; um............I suppose you can both work in the weekends, including on Hogsmeade weekends."

"How long?" the steel eyed teen asked suspiciously.

"The rest of the year."

"ARE YOU BLOODY NUTS!" the teens yelled.

"Temporarily, yes. If Huneydukes will take you in-"

"Oh GOD I hope not!" the Slytherin looked mortified.

"Then you'll begin your work this weekend, I'm guessing, and you'll get paid for it as well."


"Yes, you didn't think you'd work for nothing did you?"

"Paid, for working?"

"Of course. But only if you and Harry work well together."

"................Bloody no."

"Either that or expulsion."

Draco thought through it, frowning gradually. "Fine," he muttered furiously.

"Well then. This meeting's over, have a nice afternoon."

The professor walked the two teens out of the office, the three a bit shocked at the punishment.

"Oh yeah, I'm good," said Dumbledore, throwing his hands behind his head, leaning back and crossing his legs on the table, "WLAAAA!" the chair had fallen over.

Um, ok, my humor sucks (sighs) plus the chapter went by horribly quickly. Anyway, REVIEW PLEASE!