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Krissy: I fixed it up...I think...if I didn't then oopsy again
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thedarkside45: lol, yup I put the gumball thing here happy readings!
Jax: yes it is hee
Lyndsay-Marie: yeah, poor Jederkus, may the H/D pornstar thing continue! But in the sequel heheh, i forgot to add a bit of that here...
Lillei: no, that wasn't but this is (cries)
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darkangelfire: yeah I know it was love and peace but I wanted to switch it since Dumbly kept saying Peace and Love and stuff so...yeah thanks! I inspire you (snff) wow, and yeah I kind of am working on a book but I need the money to publish it...oops lol
darkmoon56: here's the update! thank you!
I'm not really happy with how this chappy turned out but hopefully the sequel will turn out better. The last chapter has come at hand (cries) but the sequel is just around the corner!
'blah' = Pansy's thoughts
Chapter Fifteen: It's all solved out...sort of
"Move it along there Tye!" shouted Fudge, pushing the handcuffed man into the hall of cells.
"Alright! Jeez, son of bitch," he muttered, he walked down the hallway saying random 'hi's' to a few friends. "Oh wait, can we stop right here for a mo'?" he asked innocently.
"Fine," the minister huffed.
"Merci," he turned to the occupied cell, "yo Malfoy!"
"'Ey Tye!" the silver haired man stepped out of the shadows, he would have given Jederkus a big ass bear hug but the hexed bars stopped them.
"Hey man, how's it going?"
"Not too bad, service here's shit though, and the fuckin' dementors won't stop gliding about practically sayin' 'you have no life, you are shit, let me give you a French kiss' fucking loonies if you ask me."
"Right, right," the murderer nodded in understanding.
"So I see you got yourself arrested," he crossed his arms and looked at Jederkus' cuffed wrists, "what a shame."
"What can I say?" he shrugged, "Potter and his freak of nature friends found me out."
"Hippie thing didn't work out?"
"Naw, naw, it worked fine but I put a fucking de-activating button on the freakin' switch. I think I was smoking weed when I was making the stupid switch."
"You always are man," he shook his head, "so how's Narcissa and my gay ass son?"
"Oh they're fine," he nodded, "you're wife's off in, what was it, Japan? And Draco's turned into a porn star with Potter."
"Ah yes, the beautiful days of fifty orgasms a day for forty galleons an hour," his eyes sparkled as he put his hands together, "so how 'bout the drugs? Did that work at all?"
"Yup, hid 'em in all the products. Draco and his friends tried 'em out...he ended up shagging Potter for like the hundredth time..."
"...You ain't gettin' horny...are you?" he eyed him suspiciously.
"What the fuck do you call that!? I bone over your dick!?" he pointed to the mans' erection.
"No, I'd call that a boner," Fudge suddenly said, looked at the bulge. He noticed the silence and looked up to see two incredulous prisoners. "Oh sorry," he turned away whistling.
"So anyway, you didn't get to take over," Lucius shook his head, "fucking bugger."
"Oy! I got the whole school to be hippies; shoot, even Dumbly-Wumbly became one! But I pressed the wrong BUTTON!"
"Sure, whatever, you got any other plans?"
"Not at the moment, but I want my bloody revenge!" he held his fist close to his face, "that Granger bitch nearly chopped off my fucking penis!"
"Ouch man, haha! The mudblood almost chopped off your happy wand!?" he fell into a fit of laughter.
"Halfway...BUT I GOT IT FIXED! See look," he uncuffed his wrists and unzipped his pants.
"Uh-huh," Lucius tapped his chin as he examined the fixed dick, "looks almost brand new."
"Yup," he pulled up, zipped his pants and recuffed himself. There was a pause, "...I just uncuffed myself and then recuffed myself didn't I?"
He tried to uncuff himself again but failed. "AW SON OF A BITCH!"
"Must've uncuffed yourself when you were paying attention to something else," he crossed his arms and nodded, "well since DA PLAN Didn't work, I'll be seein' ya," he waved him goodbye and walked back in shadows.
"Yeah, sure. Au revoir as they say," he turned to the Minister, "point me to my death my good man."
"Oh Hermione!" Ron rushed over and hugged the unsuspecting girl tightly, "the bitch is back!"
"Let go of me before I go all kun-fu on you!" screeched the brunette, prying the redhead off of her.
"Yes! She is back! Thank you god!" he wiped a fake tear, "for listening to our prayers!"
"Our?" Colin raised an eyebrow.
"Ok mine, but you have to admit, seeing Hermione as a hippie's fucking crazy."
"Hippie? Oh gag!" she looked at herself and found herself still dressed like a hippie, "MOVE AWAY COCKSUCKERS!" she pushed through her friends and a group of dazed and confused Gryffindors and towards the girls dorms.
"Um...guess she didn't know she was a hippie," blinked Colin.
"Oh well," Ron shrugged, "I'd better go meet Pansy, she said she needed to tell me something important."
"Good luck," he waved him off.
"Ok," he walked off out of Gryffindor tower.
The fire blew up and two people rolled out of the fireplace. Covered in soot and coughing lightly from swallowing ash.
"What are you guys doing here?" Colin asked slowly, amused as the two boys stumbled to stand up.
"We heard that Tye guy was arrested," Harry coughed.
"I am NEVER traveling by floo powder ever again," Draco complained, "look at my clothes, do you have any idea how much it cost? And it was made only for me too," he dusted himself, trying to get his expensive clothes clean. "Oh right, the Tye guy," he said immediately, seeing the look on his boyfriends face.
"He was already sent to Azkaban. Blaise found out a whole bunch of things after we caught him," Colin replied, sitting down on one of the sofas.
"So this is what Gryffindor looks like," Draco said looking around, "the red's a bit over used don't you think? Oh no," he spotted the other Gryffindors still in hippie clothes, "hippies! Hide me," he squealed hiding behind Harry.
"They're not hippies anymore, they don't even know what happened, neither does Hermione," Colin assured.
"Oh...so what's Blaise found out?"
"Well it true that Jederkus put the drugs in the candies and Zonko's products, it's probably the reason why Hermione's been so addicted to gumballs, they had some drug in them too...can't remember what kind ? Heroine? Uh...and wasn't there that one that was called crystal or pot or something?" he tapped his chin then realized that the two soot covered boys were still listening, "oh any questions?"
"That's it?" Draco nearly sputtered out.
"Yeah, the rest was obvious, he wanted to create a hippie army and take over the world, y'know with peace and love and all...but in a creepy way."
"Ah..." Harry nodded, "good thing you stopped him."
"Yep, wouldn't want to see hippies everywhere, that's too scary," Draco shuddered, "what's even scarier is that Hermione actually got to cut off Tye's dick, that thing was way too happy and needed to die."
"He put it back on, we caught him when he finished fixing it," sighed Colin, shuddering at the memory.
"UGH! OH THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Harry gagged and pretended to throw up.
"Yup, thank god he's in Azkaban now, where he'll rot his perverted ass and die or get a kiss from the dementors," there was a weird glint in his eye that made Harry and Draco take a step back and worry for the boys' sanity.
"Did you find out whatever happened to Hermione's stashes?" Draco asked, wanting to change the subject.
"Oh, yeah, Tye stole them, we found a lot of weird stuff in his hide-out, it was the room of requirement," he added seeing the boys confused looks.
"What weird stuff did you find? They weren't whips or chains or any sexual objects and stuff there were there?" Draco asked curiously.
"Oh, some were," the young Gryffindor quickly answered, "we found out he was watching over us through cameras or something, he even had a list of names on a paper, he was planning on turning us into hippies, freaky guy, he is."
"That's why you got dressed in hippie clothes," Draco said turning to Harry, "that letter was from him, if you'd have left the clothes on any longer then you'd have mentally turned into a hippie."
"Thank god I took 'em off then," the raven head sighed in relief, "what else did you find out," he asked the other Gryffindor.
"Oh right you weren't there!" Colin realized this and went on a full on explanation about the device and how Dumbledore wasn't possessed but the whole school was.
"Ok, I'm here, what'd you want to tell me?" Ron said, stopping at the lake and looking at the girl with curiosity.
"This is gonna be really hard to say," she kept her gaze to the ground and blushed lightly. "See, I...I-I..."
"Pansy," Ron said softly, "it's ok, I know how you feel."
"You do?" she looked up, hope in her eyes.
The redhead nodded, "I feel the same way too, I always have," he stepped closer and put his hands on her shoulders.
"You have?" she said softly, leaning closer to him. "Oh Ron..."
"Pansy," he leaned closer until there was no space between them.
The Slytherinette blinked and looked up at Ron. 'AW CRUD IT WAS ONLY A DAYDREAM!'
"You got a leaf in your hair," he laughed lightly, pointing to the leaf that had fallen in her hair from the beech tree. Pansy blushed even more as Ron gently pulled it out.
"So what's this important thing you needed to tell me?" he crossed his arms and waited patiently for her answer.
"Um...heh..." she fiddled with her shirt, 'fuck this!' she took a step closer lay her lips on the shocked Gryffindor. She kept it that way for a few seconds before stepping back and running off to the castle.
Ron watched her take off like no tomorrow; he lightly touched his lips and grinned. "I knew it," he said before walking back in the castle whistling to himself.
Days were passing...as usual. After the events of the hippie trance everyone felt like going all retro and stuck with the hippie clothes, much the our main dudes and dudettes distress. Harry and Draco still needed to work in Honeydukes, but like the good porn stars they were they still had their lil night shows.
And Hermione, the gumball addict was still addicted to gumballs and had to go to rehabilitation everyday after classes, along with Parvati, who claimed she was addicted to seeing naked girls...right...
"Maybe there should be a bar installed here," Harry said idly as he wiped the counter with a damp rag.
"Why a bar?" Draco asked, biting in a chocolate frog. The day was over but they still stuck around until their bosses returned from the Ministry of Magic. They and the Zonko's owners had to go on trial against Jederkus.
"I dunno," shrugged Harry, "it could be open at night and when Honeydukes usually closes. Or it could be open day and night."
"New business idea?" he walked over and leaned against the counter. "Interesting."
"Yeah, in the day it's open for children and stuff while in the night it's open for adults."
"Oh, I see where you're getting at this," Draco grinned, "but where would the bar be put?"
"We could make the place big enough for a bar to be installed somewhere where the chocolates are at," Harry tapped his chin, "yeah, it'll be cool."
"Sounds really interesting, but we need to ask Mr. and Mrs. Honeydukes about it," Draco was more than interested in the idea. "I'm liking the idea though, really intriguing."
"If they say yes we can be able to get it installed next year," Harry continued to wipe the counter, "maybe Ginny could get a job here as a bartender, I heard she was pretty popular at the Three Broomsticks."
"But she's already working with them," the blond frowned slightly.
"Only on Saturday's," the Gryffindor shrugged, "besides if she works here then she could probably attract customers."
"Ah," Draco tapped his chin and pictured the idea, "what should the bar look like?"
"Dunno, but it could also be like a small restaurant, for tired customers who need a break and a snack," his mind was working quickly on the idea; he put away the apron and walked over to Draco.
"Hmm...how about also adding an inn?" he let himself get embraced from the back. "Nah, there's probably too many inns already."
"One more wouldn't hurt," he gently nipped and kissed the boys' neck.
"I'm never gonna get tired of this," Draco barely said, leaning against the boy and craning his neck so Harry could get better access.
The doors blew open and in rushed Pansy, Ron, Colin, Blaise, and a trailing Hermione.
"GUYS YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!" shouted Blaise holding up the Daily Prophet.
"How many times have they interrupted us?" Draco pouted.
"I lost count," Harry answered sadly.
"He escaped! Look! The Tye guy, he escaped!" Blaise ranted showing them the front page of the newspaper to them.
"Oh great!" sighed Draco, he read the article out loud. "'The recently arrested Jederkus Tye has escaped from Azkaban once again.' He escaped before...oh wait, never mind 'People, muggles and wizards alike must be aware that he is armed with a wand he's stolen, aurors are on the look out for Tye as well as the muggle Police (muggle version of aurors).'" He read on in his head with Harry looking over his shoulder.
"Ok...he's escaped...now what?" Harry looked at the others.
"We're gonna try and find him that's what," Ron said as if it were the obvious; "if he escaped then he's probably gonna attempt the hippie thing again."
No one noticed Hermione take out a small bag from her pocket and stuff it with gumballs. Then again they probably didn't want to notice.
"Oh. Well whatever, that means I can ask him why he put us all in beds together that day," Draco said almost carelessly, "it had to be him that did it right?" he turned to Blaise.
"I dunno, don't look at me," he said quickly, "if he did it then it was probably for fun."
"Right...well we first need to wait and see if he's done anything at all before we try and capture him," Colin spoke up, "see in the next Prophet if he's done anything."
"Ok then...hey! Hermione what the flying fuck are you doing!?" Harry finally spotted the stealing girl.
"Nothing," she answered quickly, hiding her bag of gumballs.
He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously then lightened up. "Ok!"
"You guys interested in getting jobs?" Draco suddenly said.
"Jobs?" Pansy blinked, through the whole conversation she was trying not to blush at Ron because she was standing next to him the whole time.
"Yeah, Harry and I were thinking of installing a bar, inn, lil restaurant, or all of them put together."
"That sounds cool," Ron said cheerfully, "have you asked Mr. and Mrs. Honeydukes about it?"
"Not yet," Harry sighed, "but they'd better agree or I'm whipping out my tommy gun!"
Everyone looked at him blankly. "...Riiight..."
"Mweheheheh," Hermione laughed quietly, stuffing her mouth with gumballs, "without the drugs but still fucking good," there were tears of joy in her eyes.
Jederkus stood in the shadows of the alley across the street. He had been watching everyone's movements with silent laughter. He spotted Hermione and glared angrily at her direction.
"I'll get you," he muttered, "nobody every tries to slice of my happy wee wee and lives to tell the tale!"
"'Ey, Mr. Darkhooded figure who's mumbling shit to himself, get out of the fucking way!"
"What?" he turned and faced a pudgy man with a garbage bag in his hand.
"What are yeh waitin' for? Move it! You're standing in my trash can!"
Jederkus looked at where he was standing, "aw crud," he was standing inside the trash can...uh...barrel more like. He stepped out and grouchily walked away. "I'd better start searching for a good hiding spot...again," he muttered.
Well...that's the last chapter; keep an eye out for the sequel! You can go check my bio, there's a small summary on the sequel there, SMILES AND HUGS AND REVIEW PLEASE!