AUTHOR'S LAST NOTES OF FAREWELL: Oh boy. I have put off this chapter for far too long. It shall be my deepest regret to say this. But this...is the last chapter. This fic is done ppls. And I'd like to thank each and every one of my lovely fans out there who loved this fic and read it even though I never asked you to. I mean...out of the thousands of ppl out there who watch and read Samurai deeper Kyo you guys were the ones who cared enough to grant this poor egotistical author her most desired wish; which is to know that ppl care. Thank you all. I love each of you dearly for sticking with me and reading this jacked up fic till the very end. And for all you ppl who are just now deciding to read this fic and review it I thank you too. I guess even though your review didn't come fast enough during the time that I was actually writing this and needed them to get inspired, you still gave me more reviews. So I thank you newcomers also. Now....without wasting anymore time I give you...
Chapter 8 Ending With The Confessions
How did it go? A B C D E F G H I J K L- wait a second.....where am I? And....why can't I move? What the HELL is rubbing against my leg!?
Megeria let out a girlish scream and tried to move his arms and legs to try to escape the fiend who was rubbing his leg.
Someone slapped him....hard.
And he whimpered like the pansy he was.
But like the smartest character he was he turned to see who his attacker was and saw...
Nobunaga grinned like the fag he was and replied, "Dun Dun DUN!!!! At your service!"
Megeria blinked and then looked down at his ropes....then at his surroundings which appeared to be the same place they were at when they were knocked out.......then at all his other friends who like him, were tied to a tree and looking at him with bored and pissed off expressions.....then at Nobunaga....then at the ropes again...then at Nobunaga...then ropes....Nobunaga's little 3 foot tall hooded minions who were gathered around them....ropes......Nobunaga......then to a far off and non-existent land that could be seen between the trees somewhere on the left and opposite to the right where Nobunaga's head was....
Then finally it hit.
Megeria's eyes went as wide as golf balls.....then they turned into tennis balls.....then into grape fruit.....then because they were taking up too much of his face that he couldn't even breathe his eyes went back to being the size of golf balls.
"Dude....what the hell is your problem?"
Megeria set his eyes back on Nobunaga and tilted his head letting his mouth drop open.
He took a shuddering breathe.
He finally decided to speak, "Did you......"
Nobunaga leaned closer to hear, "What?"
Megeria's voice came out louder this time, "Did you do......anything?"
Nobunaga stayed silent and blinked a few times, "Um......excuse me?"
Megeria narrowed his eyes, "You heard me. I asked if you did anything!"
Nobunaga raised an eyebrow, "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm not following. What do you mean did I do anything? Did I do anything to what?"
Megeria growled, "Did you do ANYTHING to me?"
Nobunaga's mouth became a frown, "What do you mean did I do anything to you? You don't feel hurt do you? Because I can assure you that I didn't hurt any of you during the process."
Megeria's mouth dropped open again and he finally snapped, "SO YOU DID DO SOMETHING!"
Nobunaga's patience was wearing thin, "I told you! I didn't hurt you or any of your little friends!"
Megeria leaned closer, "That's not what I meant and you know it!"
"I have NO idea what you're talking about dammit!!!"
"Yes you do!"
"NO I DON'T"
Everyone turned their heads to look at Yukimura who was panting and glaring at the 2 arguing freaks.
Yukimura finally spoke after putting back together the pieces of his gay pride, "Now listen to me. Megeria, it's obvious that Nobunaga is too stupid to know what you're talking about. And Nobunaga it's obvious that Megeria is too much of a dumbass-"
A gasp from Yuya.
Yukimura glares at her, "Oh shut up woman! I'm trying to handle this mess. I don't need your unnecessary gasps! Ok where was I? Oh yeah. And Nobunaga it's obvious that Megeria is too much of a dumbass to know that he's not making any sense at ALL! So Megeria explain yourself and Nobunaga listen and when he's done give the usual idiotic answer then slap him and be done with this."
Nobunaga smiled and said, "Ok!"
Megeria just kept on staring.
Yukimura frowned, "Megeria.....that was your sign to go ahead and say something."
Megeria blinks, "Oh! Right. Ok. So Nobunaga you know what I mean!"
"No I don't! TELL ME!"
"DID YOU SATISFY YOUR INSANE HORNY DESIRES WITH MY BODY!?"
It was Nobunaga's turn for his jaw to drop, "WHAT THE HELL YOU RUSSIAN FOOL!?"
Megeria narrowed his eyes, "Oh so you did!"
Nobunaga placed his hand upon his chest appearing as if deeply offended, "Ugh! I'm INSULTED! How could you think I'd do something so utterly wrong and disgusting?"
Megeria leaned forward and frowned, "Hmmmm......reveal yourself jack off."
Nobunaga crossed his arms, "What the heck are you talking about now?"
"I know you aren't Nobunaga. Show yourself now."
'Nobunaga' grinned, "Oh! How did you figure it out?"
Megeria leaned back against the tree and sighed, "How did I know? I knew because that fruit cake Nobunaga would've never passed up the chance to rape all these guys around here let alone ME!"
'Nobunaga' gave a bored look, "Hmm, yes I know what you mean."
Silence took over for a while with only the birds and crickets chirping to keep the silence from reigning.
Yukimura cleared his throat, "Hello! Nobunaga! Or whoever you are! Now that you've given your stupid answer what are you supposed to do?"
'Nobunaga' nodded, "Oh right! Yes ok!"
And with that 'Nobunaga' slapped Megeria across the cheek and mumbled, "Gay ass retard!"
Kyo sighs, "Um, excuse me! But why are we tied to trees and in the same place that we were before?"
Benitora agreed, "I know! Weren't we supposed to be like food for you aliens or something?"
The little hooded figures snickered.
'Nobunaga' gave a look that clearly said oh-for-the-love-of-horny-wal-nuts-what-the-fuck-is-this-guy-talkin-about-?
Benitora gave a nervous laugh, "I'll take that as a no."
Nobunaga rolled his eyes, "Ok well I'll tell you what. All you people are gonna die and that's that. End of discussion. I'm tired of listening to you people. Geez, I think I got a headache."
"Oh god would you shut UP already!"
Everyone looked at Kyo who looked really ticked and he glared at everyone saying, "WHAT!? Is there something on my face or what goddammit! WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS STARE AT ME!? I mean I KNOW I'm beautiful and all but damn! You guys go overboard with the obsessing!"
Everyone frowned and looked at him like he was a retard.
"What? Is it wrong to obsess over someone as strong and manly as you my dear Kyo?"
Yuya turned her head saying, "Lady Okuni! Is that you?"
Everybody turned their heads and saw it was Akira.
Akira looked disgusted, "Ugh. That skanky whore!? No! It's me Akiru!"
Sasuke sighed, "I thought your name was Akira."
Akira turned his closed eyes to the boy, "Oh....yeah....it is isn't it? Well it was ONCE Akiru."
Yuya looked interested, "Oh? When was this?"
"When I first lost my eyesight."
Yuya gave a look of pity, "Oh! You poor thing! How did you loose your eyesight? I've always wondered."
Akira shook his head and had a look of great sorrow upon his face as he recalled the memory, "It all happened when I was but a boy and a war was going on. My village was massacred and there was fire everywhere. The flames devoured everything in sight. I was all alone in my room with I finally realized that there was smoke in the house. It suddenly felt so hot and it became too hard to breathe. I rushed to the door and touched the door knob, burning my hand. So I grabbed a shirt and wrapped it around my hand to open the door without getting burned this time. I crawled down the stairs only to find that the fire was in the way of my house door. With nowhere to run I tried climbing out a window not noticing that the fire had already started burning my sleeve. And the flames on my shirt started growing until it started swallowing me whole. It finally reached my head and it covered my eyes.....it burne d my face. I was so terrified."
Benitora gave a low whistle, "Oh man! Your eyes were burned! Damn that has GOT to hurt!"
Akira turned to Benitora and let out a deep breath before turning to the sky again, "No, cancer."
He turned his head towards the opposite direction. Everyone was silent....until Kyo cleared his throat, "Ok everyone, what have we learned today?"
Benitora and Yuya started yelling, "Pick me!"
Kyo looked at Benitora, "Yes?"
The pink haired man cleared his throat, "We learned that Megeria has an overactive imagination and is full of himself."
The demon stared at Tokugawa's youngest son and nodded, "Uh hum....no. Next?"
Yukimura grinned and raised his hand, "We learned that you should always listen to me because I'm the smartest of the group!"
Sasuke waves his hand in the air, "Uh....we learned that Nobunaga is a fag and that this wanna be 'Nobunaga' is obsessed with him?"
Kyo smiled, "Yes.....we did learn that....but no, that's not the answer Sasuke. Who else?"
'Nobunaga' started jumping up and down with both his hands in the air, "I know! We learned that Sasuke is a FUCKING BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKER WHO CAN'T KEEP HIS DAMN MUNCHKIN MOUTH SHUT!!!!"
He turned to Sasuke, "SHUT UP DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!"
Sasuke just smirked. So Kyo decided to break the fight, "Would you just shut the fuck UP already! Goddamn, ok who else thinks they have the answer?"
Yuya saw that it was her time to shine and yelled, "I have the answer! Pick me! Come on Kyo! Pick ME!!!"
Kyo glanced at her then looked around, "Ok, anybody? Does ANYBODY have the answer?"
Yuya was on the verge of tears, "KYO! PICK ME! I KNOW THE ANSWER!"
Kyo's patience was totally gone now, "BITCH! SHUT UP! I KNOW you don't have the answer so just stop wasting my time and fuck off!"
The blonde's lower lip trembled and her heart felt like somebody was running it over with an iron as she whispered out, "But Kyo...I love you."
Kyo....being the demon of the group was SOMEHOW able to hear this and a smile worked its way upon his lips. He quickly sucked up all the air he could, letting the ropes fall to the ground in a neat pile and walked over to her for a passionate kiss. He savored the moment as their tongues danced and each were unable to stop the moans that could be heard.
Everybody else just stared with wide eyes and jaws dropped to the ground.
But eventually Sasuke cleared his throat and the violin music along with the bubbly pinkish background disappeared, signaling that the 2 love birds were now done. The youngest of the Sanada brothers smiled and asked, "What is it my dear Sasuke? Do you also have a confession to make?"
Sasuke blushed, "Um....actually I do."
Yuya was done with being embarrassed and said, "Oh well then please tell us Sasuke."
Nobunaga growled, "Oh come OUT with it!"
Benitora's eyes grew wide once again, "What? Oh my god. How many gay people are there NOW!?"
Megeria used his super powers and somehow (don't ask me how) LASER BEAMED his way out of the ropes to raise his hand.
Benitora put on a look of disgust, "Oh not you too Megeria!"
"Um, actually I was just going to say that I had to use the bathroom. Go right on ahead with your gay-"
Sasuke glared, "We prefer the term homosexuals."
The Russian accented man rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Look I do not really care. I have to take a piss and that's what I'm going to do. So just carry on with your HOMOSEXUAL conversation. I'll be right behind this tree."
With that, the Russian was gone....behind the tree.....sounds of some form of liquid pouring on the ground like a water hose were coming from said tree.....we all know what's goin on people so let's just move on.
'Nobunaga' turned his head away from the tree, "Right. Well, let's continue this shall we?"
He started counting off his fingers while saying names aloud, "Allright. So we KNOW that Sasuke, Yukimura, and Kyo are queers."
Red eyes burned with fire, "HEY! I'm the one with a girlfriend so why would I be a queer!?"
"You'd be one because for all we know that dumb blonde could be just a cover up to hide your gayness and make us think that you're straight."
Demon eyes Kyo shook with unleashed anger, "Oh yeah! Well what about you? We don't even know just who the hell you are or where the hell you came from! I mean for all WE know you could actually be obsessed with Nobunaga. I mean why ELSE would somebody want to disguise themselves as him? I mean...and then there's the fact that you could be a fag yourself since we have yet to know if you're even a guy or a girl."
The sound of a zipper being pulled up made them all go silent as Megeria walked out from behind the tree whistling Popeye the Sailor Man. He soon noticed that the group were staring at him and stopped to say, "Well why doesn't someone just unmask the dude already?"
Akira walked over and took off 'Nobunaga's mask to reveal...
Dun dun DUN!!!
Okuni looked at Yuya and smirked, "What? I just wanted to have some fun. But now that you all know it's me let's move on. I know somebody who's here that is also VERY gay."
Okuni turned her head to Yukimura with an evil chuckle, "Well Lord Yukimura?"
Kyo cursed, "Oh good GOD Yukimura! Am I the ONLY straight man here or what?"
Megeria snorted, "Yeah. About as straight as a rainbow too."
Everyone laughed and Kyo did his petty threats. Megeria just flicked him off, "Sticks and stones demon boy."
Yukimura started sweating, "Actually. I have a confession to make myself. Benitora....I....I....I love you."
Kyo took out a bottle of sake and watched Yukimura cut the ropes with a knife then walk over to Benitora and give him a sweet kiss. He shook his head, "Fucking copycat."
Sanada stuck his tongue out at Kyo and the demon smirked, "Don't stick your tongue out unless you're going to use it lover boy."
Benitora paled, "Hey Kyo! You've already got a girlfriend! He's mine."
Benitora grabbed Yukimura around the waist and pulled him close to him for another long lasting meeting of the lips.
Kyo sighed, "Let's just call it a day."
Yuya suddenly remembered something, "Hey wait! Kyo, what was the lesson that we learned today?"
Akira snickered, "Don't you know? We learned that anytime Yuki Haitani writes a fic that has humor on it be ready for a one hell of a jacked up fic because Yuki Haitani KICKS ASS! Later people!"
Kyo clapped and watched Akira walk away, "I've taught that boy well. (Sniffle) I'm just so proud of him!"
Sasuke yawned and said, "Hey guys? Can we leave so that I can make some stir fried jack rabbit legs?"
Everyone including the 3 foot hooded figures and Nobunaga agreed and everyone walked away.
Yuya was still stuck to a tree.
3 years later Kyo wondered what happened to Yuya but blew it off when Okuni started rubbing herself against him. Yukimura ended up having 5 kids (Don't you DARE ask me how) with Benitora. Sasuke of course got with Kotoro only to one day find out he was being cheated on by a squirrel so he killed his lover. Megeria was still being stalked by Nobunaga and Saizo....has been and always WILL BE dead as seen in chapter 3. So everyone lived happily ever after!
Except for Yuya who was still stuck to a tree.
A/n: Oh dear god. It's finally over. THE FIC IS DONE PEOPLE! Well....the ending sucked but hopefully the rest of the fic made up for that. Well now that this is over I send my thanks to you all! You've been a beautiful audience! Now remember R&R PPL!!!!!!