Broken

I hate you, Rem.

I hate everything you did.

I hate everything you are.

I hate everything you tried.

I hate your morals.

But I especially hate you.

How inconsiderant of me. I never gave my reasons. Why I hate you? Let me ponder on this for
a bit. Maybe it's because he loved you more, or because you were just another human?
Or maybe it's because I was just jealous, and wanted your death, anyway.

No, no. I'm not that cruel. You want to know? Fine.

I hate you because you were you. You were Rem Saverem, saviour of your own people, and the
only true human who cared about your own kind, but saw through Vash, and kept us alive.

I guess I should be thankful then, huh? Well, I'm not. I'm not thankful for our survival
by you, not one, but two times. You're the reason I'm here, but you're also the reason
why all the other humans are here. I hate you more then I know it.

You saved your people more than once, too, you know? They should be thanking you, but
not even they know of how they got on this desert planet, and of your existance. How futile.
So, why did you save them? You didn't want any credit, I know that much. Maybe it's because
you really did love them, or maybe you just knew it was the right thing to do. That your
sacrifice was the right thing to do.

I understand you, too. I want to save my own people, but from your kind. You people make me
sick, honestly and bluntly. You people have hurt, and used my kind for too long. So, now
it's your turn to get hurt. But Rem stays untouched. It's not the fact that you're already dead,
Rem, or the fact that he loved you. It's the fact that you already felt the pain that we
feel. It's the fact that you know what it's like to be in my position. It's because the
fact that you are you.

So, guess what? You've influenced me more-so than I, and you, thought it to have been. I
suppose we're opposing forces, though, too. Human against plant, a little half-heartily
to say. It's all inevitable, but he was chosen by you to fight for you, or was it he just chose
himself?

He blames me, but most of all, he blames himself. My poor brother. I'll find you one day, and
we can be happy together. That's what I wanted from the start, but she ruined it. She let
those humans live. She was their saviour, yet, they don't even realize it. My poor Rem.

So, my hate comes from all angles.

Guess what?

I admire you, Rem.

I admire the fact that you stick by your morals.

I admire your beliefs.

I admire your sacrifice.

But I especially admire you.

It's because you were you that I find so much admiration in, but hate as well. The scale is
balanced, I suppose. You know what?

You turned us enemies, though. I'll never forgive you for that.

Was it you? No. Was it me? No. Was it him? No. Than who was it?

It was us. Vash, and I, that is. Though, all the blame is constantly thrown at me. Let it be,
see if I care.

You made Vash who he is, though, and that is the only thing that I trully am thankful for.
Even if he goes against all my morals. Even if he wishes me dead. Even if he wishes it were
him to kill me. He couldn't do it anyway. Why? It's because your influence over him. So, he
has self-proclaimed himself the soldier of love and peace.

He has self-inherited the job as human saviour.

You know what's funny, pathetic, yet, ironic all at the same time?

He's not even human.

So, while our conversation is over, Rem, I want you to leave my mind, and stop your guidance
over me. I know you've been watching over me, and caring for me, even after all the horrible
things i've done. I'm just misguided, right?

No. I'm not misguided. My morals, and decisions ARE right, and I will not stray my path.

So, while I kill the last of the ties between us all, I want you to remember this, Rem.

You are, and were never apart of me, so stop burdening me with your presence.

--------

Gwen B.

Beginning Time: I forgot.
Ending Time: 10:22 PM January 26th, 20001