"Kill Sue"

Author's Notes: Ahh welcome, I'm glad you're here.  I am the author, Arcadia, at your service!  Before you embark on the epileptic adventure of my little parody here, I'd like to remind you that if you are either a Mary Sue author or a Yaoi author, please don't take personal offense.  It's just some good old-fashioned satire, nothing more.  If you can't take satire and what is obviously an over-blown, exaggerated view of your established fanfic profession, I dare say you shouldn't be on the internet at all.  Have a nice day!

            And, before I forget, to the little kiddies out there or those who are squeamish.  This fic contains blood, gore, foul language, and suggestive scenes.  You have been warned, so don't come running to me if your head decides to go take a permanent sabbatical because you persisted in subjecting it to this.

Disclaimer: Square-Enix owns the Kingdom Hearts franchise, while Disney Itnl. owns the characters of Sora, Riku, and Kairi. All rights reserved, characters and properties in this fic are used under the Fair Use rule of the 1976 Copyright Protection Act. No profits are made or derived from this fiction. 

            Ah, yes, the idyllic paradise known as Destiny Islands.  Balmy breezes, swaying coconut trees, pristine sands, and disease infested seagulls.  This was the childhood home of the galaxy-famous Keyblade Master, Sora and his friend, the ever-introverted puppet of the Darkness, Riku.  These two life-long friends had long since patched up their differences about that little tiff with Ansem, the Heartless, and the near-destruction of all existence, as we know it.  In fact, they were on very good terms with each other. They spent plenty of time with each other now-a-days, enjoying each other's company in the days of their extremely early retirement. Yep, there was nothing like lazing about on the beach, sipping Mai-Thais and watching the tide roll in at the age of twenty-five years old.

            Amazingly, no other children had been born since that fateful day when the writhing orb of darkness that had decimated his island had sucked Sora up like a shoestring into a Hoover.  That and the fact that the local Child Protection and Safety Committee deemed that letting any child under the age of 25 out alone for extended periods of time in the sunlight and fresh air with other children was a sure fire cause of teen pregnancies served to leave the both of them alone.  Sora, whose hair had gotten worse with all the chemical bleaching he had done to it over the years, sat up and stretched.

            "Riku?"  He poked his snoozing friend in the side, startling the silver-haired man out of his dreams.

            "Sora, what the hell do you want that's important enough to want to wake me up?"  Riku snapped caustically.  Sora rolled his eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning over and grinning, nose only an inch from his friend's face.  His breath washed over Riku's skin in misty waves. He leaned in, nearly touching noses to the silver-haired god under him. He licked his lips, grinning madly as he whispered those few words into Riku's waiting ear.

            "I'm bored, wanna have some fun?"

            "Gah! Damnit, Sora, you had tuna for lunch, didn't you?" Riku pinched his nose and pushed Sora's laughing face away.  By the light, his breath reeked!

            "Sorry man, it was too good to pass up!"  Riku sulked and kicked sand over Sora's bare feet.  Sora laughed harder, kicking sand back at him. Riku retaliated again; thus they ended up throwing sand around, pulling and wrestling as Riku tried to avenge his ruined nap by pouring sand down Sora's shirt. The sun was beginning to touch the far off horizon as the men flopped down on their sides, panting and gasping for air. Sweat poured from their skin, rolling down their necks and chest, causing their shirts to cling to them. Sun-bronzed skin, a coppery sheath over their taut, supple muscles gleamed under the failing light. The proof of their exertion poured down washboard abs and past their waists to the big …

            The next twenty-seven paragraphs have been edited by the Focus on the Family Organization for their blatant description of male body parts and cheesy, clichéd yaoi undercurrents. Thank you for your time, and remember… Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve! God loves you, but hates homosexuals, yeah Fred Phelps, yadda, yadda, increase the number of vegetables in the White House and vote Bush, yadda, yadda, burn in hell Ellen DeGeneres, you flaming lesbian, ad nausea.

            "Damn humidity," Sora croaked.

            "Yeah," Riku chorused.  They both caught their breaths as a shadow threw itself across their faces and a highly annoyed feminine voice cut the silence.

            "what r u doing? Ur supossed 2 b havin hawt, hawt mansex!"   The hell? Riku sat up, that was definitely not Kairi!

            Standing before them was not one, but well over a dozen young girls, many barely pubescent, glaring at them with disappointed and impatient looks.  Several of them had laptops in hand, some notebooks and pens; one just had the keyboard with the plug dragging across the sand with no CPU.  The girl closest to them glared over her thin-rimmed glasses, her lips twisted in distain. She didn't look to be over twelve.

            "y r u not nekkid?" She demanded fiercely.  "i tuld u 2 have seks now!" Riku looked at Sora, who looked at him with equal bewilderment.

            "Excuse me? I can't understand a word you're saying. Are you lost?"  The girl shoved her glasses up the bridge of her acne-scarred nose.

            "teh ficcie sayz that u r havin seks now!"

            "Sora, did you get a word of what she just said?"  The Keyblade Master pondered this for a moment.

            "I think she wants to know how to get to Wal-Mart."  Yes, of course Destiny Islands has a Wal-Mart! What place in this world haven't they infested yet?  Riku nodded in understanding. Of course they wanted to get to Wal-Mart, who didn't love their inexpensive (Because they outsource to third world countries), high quality (for clothing factory quality control rejects), fashionable (generic) clothes and wonderful (crappy...) non-name brand food stuffs?

            "Oh, just tie yourself to a seagull that's flying south. Eventually you will see something that looks like a great pit of seething darkness; that's Washington DC.  Cut yourself from the bird or shoot it and take the off-ramp to exit 19 and it will be on your left; right next to the sewage processing plant."  The girl blinked at them, her companions looking at each other with bewilderment.

             "y r u not havin seks now?"

            "I don't think they understand us, Riku." Sora stood up and began politely shepherding them towards the shore. Some of them shouted in protest, others flailed their arms madly, but as a whole they refused to leave.

            "Sorry we can't help you, but we really can't understand you. Could you please go away now?" Sora smiled widely.  Oh boy, that was the wrong thing to say.  As one, all the girls turned their attention to the writing implements they held and began to type or scribble away.  The two men looked at each other and blinked, shrugging their shoulders. That was the last voluntary thing they did.

            Two seconds later, Sora found himself shirtless, on top of Riku, kissing him passionately.  Then Riku was on top, but then they had shirts but no pants. Another second later Sora lay trussed like a pig, thick rope binding his legs and arms in unnatural and sadistic ways while Riku stood over him in a tight leather bodysuit and a cat-o-nine in his hand. Then it was Riku chained up and Sora with a bottle of syrup. Sora in a catholic schoolgirl outfit and Riku dressed as a teacher groping him in unwanted places.  Riku cross dressing in Kairi's old clothes, Sora in one of her dresses.  Now Sora was cross-dressing in a thong. The scenarios kept switching back and forth, around and around between states of odd, surreal, sick, and downright disturbing.  Sora gasped, partly in terror of realization and partly because Riku was unwittingly trying to violate him with a rolling pin.

            "Y…yaoi authors!"  Riku let out a strangled cry, struggling against the leather straps around his wrists, moaning. If he was moaning from fear or the forced pleasure, it was impossible to tell. They shifted again, this time Riku was in...a kilt?

            "stoopid wurdz. riku kilted kairee!"  The authoress backspaced, retyping the commands.

            "stop typing! sora and riku r n my ficcie!" A third author was now typing faster than the other was, trying to force Sora and Riku to fit into her perverse fantasy fiction. The shifts in reality were becoming slower, giving both men time to glance around as they continued to molest each other.  Some were still typing away diligently, a few others were starting to shove and shout at each other as they competed for control over them.  Two girls were waving laptops at each other like 2x4s; one was brandishing a five-subject notebook at the first authoress with the acne. Thinking fast, Sora grabbed an empty bottle of chocolate sauce and threw it to one of the girls whom had their back turned.

            "who threw tat?" she demanded, swinging around dumbfounded.  Someone snickered and she leapt at her, fist balled and screaming obscenities in netspeakese.  Some rallied to her aid some took up the side of the snickering girl. Quickly, all of them were in the midst of a free-for-all; fists, words, and notebooks flying.

            Riku rolled to his side, gasping for air and hugging his regular clothes tightly.  When the authors stopped typing and yanking the threads of reality around, things went to normal.  "Sora, I think we should run like hell while they're mauling each other."

            "I agree." Both stood and sprinted down the beach like rabbits away from a fox as the melee continued on the beach. Riku hit the boats first, dropping into his canoe and casting off from the pier, until a voice from nowhere popped up.

            "Riku, my love!"  Riku looked around, blinking at Sora who shrugged helplessly.  Puppet of Darkness dismissed the voice as he continued to make good his escape.  Sora dropped into his own little dinghy, pulling out the paddle and began to tread forward.

            "Riku, wait for me my love!" There was a tremendous splash, and of all things, a mermaid beached herself in Riku's boat.

            "What the hell?" Riku scrambled to the back of the craft, trying to not only distance himself from the sea-creature, but to also get away from the frilly, pretty, neon green bird that perched on the side of the boat. I mean, it was neon. The freaking thing glowed like Vegas during tourist season. The impossibly long, wavy tail of the avian trailed into the water, undulating and flowing in the choppy tide. Riku was afraid to get out of the boat to escape the suicidal mermaid; the bird might electrocute him.

            The mermaid took his second of shock to launch herself at him, wrapping her delicate and thin, yet powerful arms around him.  Her impossibly beautiful face where two sapphire eyes glowed with the light of a thousand stars, beamed at him.  Soft, petal-pink lips pouted, leaning in to kiss him as a soft, rose-scented breeze made the golden bells in her aquamarine and lavender hair twinkle like the voice of a thousand angels.

            "Get off my Honey-Bunny!"

Ka-SMACK!  The mermaid was punted away from Riku and back into the sea with a loud splash.  Relieved, he looked around, eager to thank his rescuer for saving him from what should've been a cold, slimy kiss from waterlogged lips. How she managed to make them pink and supple was beyond him.

"Are you okay, Honey-Bunny?" Another woman crawled into his boat, frail with black eyes as deep as the Abyss of Eternal Darkness and deep purple hair with gold tiger stripes and fringed orange edges. She also had cat ears; we can't forget the cat ears. These twitched, the gleaming black fur catching the slowly falling sun.

"Riku, buddy, help me!"

Sora was being inundated by a crowd of four girls, each more beautiful than the last. Normally, this would've made Riku cross with jealously, but right now, he was more concerned with getting the catgirl with the Lolita complex off of him.  A furtive glance around showed the Yaoi authoresses still in the throes of a bloody brawl, the fight now down to using fists and feet, scattered and dog-eared notebooks and keyboards being swept up by the tide.  Yet, a group was approaching; a herd of genetic impossibilities streaking down the sandbar towards them.  Wings, both fey and angelic, lifted some into the air, while claws or other animalistic appendages carried others.  Numerous plumes of shiny, untangled hair glistened in the sun like so many oil slicks on a parking lot. The siren call of crystalline bells echoed out from throats bedecked with Jewels of Ultimate Power or Token of Angsty Pasts. It was a mob of Mary Sues.  Headed straight for them.

If Riku had any experience with this breed of time-warping, metaphysics-defying idiots, even the smallest one of them, size C cup and all, would be infinitely more powerful than both Sora and Riku together.  Riku was thoroughly convinced that he was going to surrender his common sense, as well as his long-defended virginity, to these rampant monsters.  If there was any god up there laughing at their plight, they would be merciful and let him get piss-ass drunk before it went too far. Death seemed evident as the group diverged, one for him and one for Sora.  His friend barely managed to look up in time to comprehend the terror that was to befall them.  Both lifted up a prayer to the Light as Darkness swept upon them.

"Sora? Riku? What's going on?"

The Light had answered them!  In a miracle unlike any other since the 2000 elections, the clouds parted and a ray of light beamed down, delivering sanity, characterization, and most of all… cannon loyalty.  The Mary Sues halted just feet from them, down the beach, the Yaoi authoresses paused in their battle.  A dreadful stillness claimed the island as both Mary Sue and Yaoi fangirl alike laid eyes upon this most treacherous, evil, despicable creature.  Hatred seethed in their blood, fury boiled in their stomachs, all for this incarnation of evil and hatred made flesh, their greatest enemy!

The female canon.

Kairi was positively baffled as to why well over twenty girls, all young looking, seemed to be boring holes through her with their eyes, faces twisted with hatred beyond reason.  What was wrong with sitting in a boat, coming to visit your friends?  Then again, what were all these women doing here?  Sora screamed at her to run, to save herself, to leave him with these beasts, which would surely tear him limb from limb.  Hell, he had died for her once; maybe this time would convince her to go out with him. Of course, Kairi, being the friendly girl that she was, simply smiled at them and broke the silence with a cheerful "hello!"

Perhaps it was a bad move, she thought later on. It was probably a bad move because seconds later, weapons, magical attacks, or small companion creatures were suddenly closing the distance, aimed at her.  With a huge blast, she was thrown from her boat and onto the rackety dock with a sick-sounding crunch as she landed on her head.  Sora and Riku cried out in terror… there went the finest set of breasts and hips in Destiny Islands. Why, why, why couldn't have it been Selphie?!

Each party taking up one side of the ring, Mary Sue and Yaoi Authoress stared down at the growing pool of crimson blood forming around Kairi's still body. As Sora leaned his head on Riku's shoulder and sobbed like a baby, both sides let out a cheer of victory, The Great Evil had been vanquished!  Now there could be peace and much, much sex.  Riku sighed and comforted the grieving Keyblade Master, preparing to face the end as the celebration stopped and the invaders began to bear down on them once again.  Sora gave one last despondent look at Kairi, making a solemn vow.

"Kairi, I promise that I will go down fighting. Even as they force me through mind-control to have sex with them, I'll scream out your name as much as possible. I'll be with you soon, don't worry."

He went to draw his Keyblade and make his stand, but a look behind them stopped that. Kairi was moving.  Not only was she moving, she was standing up… and laughing.  Several of the horde turned to look stupefied at the girl that should've been lying on the dock in a pool of her own blood, dead as Bill Murray's career.

"Heh, Heh, Heh, good one girls, a really good try." She chortled.  The left half of her was a mask of crimson, her own blood coating the entire side of her face.  She trailed a lazy finger through the congealing liquid, grinning with a savage delight as it rolled down her finger. She popped it in her mouth, rolling her tongue lazily over her own digit, savoring the melding of the coppery tang of the blood and the salty sweetness of her skin.  Once clean, she drew it out of her mouth, turning her savage smile to the shocked and disgusted audience.

"Like I said, good try girls, but it's nowhere near good enough."  She walked towards them with a slow, luxurious pace, trailing bloody shoe prints over the dock, where the old wood soaked up the liquid.  A deft flick of her wrist brought a long-bladed katana from Hammerspace, a neat trick that Sora and Riku had taught her.  Her face contorted in utter, maniacal pleasure as she reached the first handful of Mary Sues.

"But sadly, we female canon are like you are: cancerous.  We try to eliminate each other all the time, killing and butchering each other in attempts to free our men of the others influence. It's a never-ending battle, isn't it?  The set will of the universe verses the hormonal charges of a few insipid fangirls. However, cannon has one advantage over you scum: the Creator actually likes us."

"Hail Nomura Tatsuya, our holy father, full of grace." Sora and Riku chimed.  It was standard procedure whenever one mentioned the Creator. 

"I have been issued a great quest on behalf of the Creator, ("Hail Nomura…" went Sora and Riku again) I am his agent in this plane, to combat your infesting evil.  It is my charge, my duty, and my life." She intoned.  "So let the purging begin."  With that, she lobbed off the head of the nearest Sue, a blonde, green eyed, buxom beauty who carried not one, but three Keyblades.  Her body dropped like a rock, gushing… purple blood?  Eh, gushing purple blood over the feet of the girls around her.

Some of the more delicately minded Sues screamed and attempted to run while the 'tough chicks' and 'righteous warrior' Sues sprung to action, Keyblades and other insanely powerful weapons (including a few replications of the Masamune) lifted to face the Creator-blessed katana that was now working on butchering the front line.  Feathers flew as Kairi de-winged an angel Sue, before slicing her from chin to waist.  A skillful deflection of a pink and black Keyblade and a sidestep to avoid a blue fireball brought down two more Sues around her.  With a mad cackle, she advanced into the thick of the crowd.

The Yaoi Authoresses, seeing the Sues fall in ones and twos to Kairi's homicidal fury, leapt into action.  Keyboards typing brought both Sora and Riku's Keyblades up to action, both boys leaping up on the dock to defend the Authoresses.  Of course the Sues took this the wrong way and started bubbling over with glee and confessions of true love for either of the Keyblade wielders.  But with their back turned to the crowd, Sora and Riku looked at Kairi with looks of desperation and pain.

"YoU wIlL nOt ToUcH tHeM!" Sora roared, all the while looking like he was having a heart attack as he tried to resist the control that several of the Authors were extorting over him.

"3 1 onz U b1z1( -!" ("We will ownz you, biznitch") Riku chorused, his face twisted with a similar agony.  Under the howl of approval from the horde behind him, Sora lifted his baby-blue eyes to Kairi and whispered with the  last bit of strength he had.

"Help," he pleaded.  Kairi looked down, azure blue and dusky violet meeting for a moment before Kairi closed her eyes and raised her blade to strike.  With a yelp of pain, Riku's strength floundered and he found himself charging at the girl with whom he had had an obsession with for over thirteen years… and still couldn't get a date with for the life of him.  Sora unwillingly followed him, manipulated by the words that the Authoresses typed on keyboards.  Ultima appeared in his hands as a golden aura enveloped him… Ars Arcanum ready to let fly.  The crowd cheered loudly, a bloodlust that put the Romans to shame.

With a resounding crack, Kairi's weapon came down, the pommel making a nasty sound as she struck both of them on the head.  Sora managed a goofy smile as he and his friend were shoved off the dock onto a clean patch of sand.  His last clear memory before the world turned black was Kairi closing the distance, running low with her sword out, into the now terrified crowd of Yaoi Authoresses.

The first touches of gold were growing on the eastern horizon when he woke up again.  Slowly sitting up and cradling his aching head, he shook Riku, who opened one bleary eye and began to sit up himself. The Keyblade Master stared down the beach, his stomach turning at the carnage.  Bodies strewn everywhere, some hanging over the roof of the Seaside Shack, piled up on the bridge, draped over the walkways and palm trees.  Seagulls were all ready crowded around a few corpses, trying to make nests out of them.  Blood was everywhere, soaked in the sand, running down the sides of the Shack, coloring the rushing tides; it was as if someone had gone Jackson Pollock with a can of red paint.  Well, most of it was red; there were splotches and swaths of different colors here and there. A nice way to break the monotony.

Instantly, Sora became concerned for Kairi.  Sure, she was now a homicidal maniac and could take care of herself, but that didn't mean he couldn't be concerned.  She was nowhere in sight and that concerned him, maybe some of them had managed to get her?

"Holy shit," Riku breathed as he stood up.  "Kairi did this? That's fucking awesome!"  Sora cocked an eyebrow at him, maybe it was time to take Riku off the Prozac.  The Puppet of the Darkness was very keen to inspect the single-handed cold slaughter of about twenty or so women in detail, so Sora had to step over bodies and avoid standing puddles of blood as he followed Riku around the carnage.  As Riku poked and prodded at a few corpses, a figure came around the corner, katana balanced over one shoulder and bare feet making long strides over the sand.

"Kairi!" Sora waved at her as she came near.  Stopping near them, he was able to notice that she had ruined her outfit, white tank top and blue skirt, with endless amounts of blood.  The evidence of the wound that had triggered this rampage was dry and crusting in her eyebrows.  Her ruby locks, usually well groomed, now stuck out in odd places, giving Sora's hairdo a run for it's money in gravity defiance.  Somewhere in the primitive reserves of Sora's wide (albeit ill used) intellect, the most primitive of machinations turned a few dials and flipped a few switches.  Said switches and dials activated diodes and neurotic transfers in the deep recesses, which created patterns of thought familiar to ancient man's sex drive.  In other words, beholding Kairi in her bloody, dirty, raw, conquering glory was turning him on. 

This lovely image wouldn't stay for long as Kairi walked out into the tide and dove under, scrubbing and rinsing away all that sticky blood.  That one Sue with acidic green blood managed to tag her leg before she cleaved it in half.  A little hydro-peroxide would take care of that.  Once scrubbed clean, she walked back up to them, raw and bloody conqueress now a rendition of a pop-culture supermodel, wet white shirt and all.

"So," her voice was bright and cheerful, all traces of the bloodlust gone. "That takes care of that!  Let's let the gulls take care of all the bodies, I'm sure they can make use of them."  She walked towards the dock, Sora and Riku following behind her in a stupefied trance to their boats.

"stop u beeyatch!!11" a weak voice cried from behind them.  Turning around, the Trinity witnessed, to their horror, a barely living Yaoi Authoress making her wavering way up the beach towards them.  It was the strange girl that Sora had noted when all the trouble began, the one with the keyboard and no CPU.  CPU Girl stumbled a few more steps and fell to her knees beside the body of a Sue, glaring belligerently at Kairi.  "twu luv weel stop u!" she declared, taking the plug at the end of the wire and shoving it into the neck of the Sue.

Some weak typing that left bloodied smears on the keys was her last action before she keeled over and expired in a burbling heave of breath.  For a moment, they waited, for sure that something would happen.  All that show couldn't have been for nothing, could it?  After nothing moved or stirred for well over a minute, they simply shrugged their shoulders and continued walking.  Until a shrill cry made the gulls take flight in a storm of caws and white feathers.

"Pussy Cat!"  Kairi hit the dirt as someone threw themselves on her back, arms wrapped around her neck in a vice grip.  Struggling as the attacker rolled her over, Kairi was prepared to decapitate the idiot who had… her grip around the handle of her blade went limp until the sword fell on the sand.  Utterly entranced, Kairi smiled beauteously up at the most beautiful set of bedroom golden eyes imaginable.

"Pussy Cat!" the creature squeaked before engaging Kairi in a lip lock to end all lip locks.  Tongues writhed against each other as the duo lay out on the sand, Kairi and all her characterization forgotten in the lull of one of the rarest and most exotic forms of meta-physics warping creatures.  It was a Yuri Sue. A curvy, deeply tanned and gorgeous girl that seemed to be attempting to free Kairi of her top.

Sora's mouth tried to work, it honestly did.  But it seems that trying to form coherent sounds while your mind is on overload seems to be a difficult task, especially when you have two hot girls engaging in steamy sex on the beach less than a yard from you.  To prevent total shutdown, Sora's mind quickly divided itself into two camps: logical thinking side and hormonal fantasy side.  As it was said before, Sora possessed a very keen, logical, rational mind, he just never used it.  Both sides even dressed up for the occasion by adopting corporal forms.  The logical side was a miniature of Sora in a white robe and wings. The hormonal side was black leather and horns.  The conversation went like this:

Logic: Hello Sora.

Hormone: S'up, Pimp Daddy.

Sora: What? Who are you guys?

Logic: I am your logical side, Sora.  I'm here to help you save Kairi.

Sora: Kairi? Kairi's in danger?!

Hormone: The good kind of danger, that is.  Hot, steamy, yuri kind of danger.

Sora: …What?

Logic: (both he and Hormone shake their heads) Kairi is being manipulated by a dangerous Yuri Sue, you must stop her!

Hormone: Kairi is getting her freak on with another chick and you got front seats, I don't see a problem.

Logic: She's doing it against her will!

Sora: That's bad…

Hormone: But she's having sex with another girl, and you can watch!

Sora: That's great!

Logic: But she's your soul mate!

Hormone: You know what you wanna do with that!

Logic: If you don't stop the Yuri Sue, that man-hating Amazon barbaric wench will castrate you and you won't be getting any from nobody!

Hormone: You can run faster than her! Besides, you can offer up Riku as a sacrifice, it's not like he uses his anyway.

Logic: Which would you rather do? Watch Kairi have sex with another girl or bang her yourself?

Hormone:…. He wins.

Sora shook his head, wondering why he had the beginnings of a splitting headache.  But to his credit, he summoned his Keyblade and drove it into the back of the Yuri Sue.  With a scream and a wretch, the creature went still and Sora tossed the body away, helping a shaky Kairi to her feet.

"Thanks…" She shook a bit, rearranging her shirt.  "That was close."

"Yeah." He cast a glance at Riku, who at the onset of the yuri action, had gone stiff as a … well… Let's just say he was frozen, okay?

"You're freezing," Sora flung his coat around Kairi's shoulders.  In thanks, Kairi smiled at him, leaned close to his ear, and whispered into it.

"I have a… little something at my house that just came today.  It's that outfit I showed you."  Sora's knees nearly gave out from under him in delight.  The 'outfit' was a leather bikini and four-inch stiletto heeled boots, complete with a complimentary cat-o-nines whip.  He went to pick her up and get to his boat and to her house that instant when Kairi reprimanded him with a sound smack on the back.

"You know the rules, Sora." She chided.  "Playtime has begun."

"Playtime" was the code for the Slave-and-Master bondage role-play that both Kairi and Sora had been doing for the past three years behind Riku's back.  This explained the red marks that Sora claimed he collected in Blitzball games during the weekends.  Whenever Kairi announced "Playtime" had begun, no matter where or when, they went into their respective roles.  She was the Master, and he the Slave.

"Yes, Mistress," Sora replied obediently, kneeling down to give Kairi a piggyback ride.  He practically sprinted to the boats, glad that Kairi had knocked him out earlier.  Even with the extra rest, Kairi was an animal in the sack, and she drew blood.


Closing Notes: Here is where I plug some of the better examples of work to be found in this archive.

When All Other Lights Go Out, To Light A Candle, Court of Souls: All by the spectacular Rem-Chan. Be forewarned, all of these fics are long and complex. Don't even think about attempting Court of Souls without a few days of free time and a tissue or two.

Reverse Side of Darkness, Fading Light: by Koorino Megumi. Yet another long fic, Fading Light being an aside to one of her original characters, Aros.  

Empherial Blossoms: By Akai Kitsune. Cloud/Aerith goodness.

Currents: By Link-no-Miko. Kairi goodness.

Starless by Dagas Isa. A retelling of the events in KH

Behind the Darkness by Naela.