Laura's Note: This was written late one night over AIM... Dafna and Regina did most of the dialogue, Kaytee was mostly responsible for the concepts... and I did the narration (after the fact) Anyway, here is it. It's meant to be silly, and feedback rocks our world!

Scene in a Diner; or, Why Luke will have an ulcer by age 50.

by: Dafna, Kaytee, Laura & Regina

Our scene begins late one night at Luke's Diner. It's closed, but that has never stopped Lorelai. On this particular night, this particular hot and sweaty summer night, something extremely different is about to occur. In retrospect, Luke would be quite thankful he had the foresight to close the blinds early. Had he not, the good townsfolk of Star's Hollow would've been shocked and apalled.

The coffee'd been downed long ago, and the last piece of pie was but a distant memory. Determined to drag her visit out as long as possible, Lorelai was rambling aimlessly, one hand unconsciously twirling a curl around her finger.

"The new blinds really are a necessity, but I just can't decide. Eggshell or stucco? I miss when white was just white."

Had he actually been listening, Luke might've considered the absurdity of the topic. Fortunately, he was quite distratced by her low cut tank top, and the way she oh so innocently twirled her hair right by the neckline. Luke hd excellent self-control, but even the best broke sometime.

Before either was aware what was happening, they were kissing, the heat forgotten as they pressed their bodies against eachother. Without thought, Luke roughly pressed his hands against her ass and she hopped up, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Desperate for more freedom with his hands, Luke shuffled towards the counter in a brilliant display of multitasking. Setting her down so she was seated on the edge, he tore his mouth from hers and started down her throat.

Lorelai leaned her head back, one hand fisted in his shirt, the other reaching up to remove his baseball cap and toss it across the diner. She couldn't help but giggle when she heard it knock over a napkin dispenser somewhere in the distance. Luke was oblivious, continuing his assault on her throat, but she just continued to giggle. Finally, he pulled away and gave her an annoyed look.

The heat, combined with their breif foray into rigorous physical activity had Luke's hair curled and plastered to his forehead. The sight caused Lorelai to giggle some more, and Luke just sighed, staring past her and tryiung not to think about the fact her legs were wrapped around his waist, and one of his hands was up the back of her shirt.

When she finally calmed down and caught her breath, she wiped at her forehead. "Luke..." She whined.

He just looked at her, not really sure how to process everything.

"It's so hot!"

He grinned slightly "I know."

"No, it's really HOT." she used her free hand to fan herself. "Don't you have air conditioning?"

"No... why are we talking about air conditioning right now?"

"Because it's hot."

Not a fan of this line of conversation, Luke leaned over to capture her mouth once more, but she pressed her hand to his chest, holding him back. "It's too hot!"

Levelling a strong glare at her her growled, picking her up again. "You wanna be cool? FINE. We'll go be cool." and with that he carried her into the kitchen and pulled open the door of the cold storage room and sat her down on the nearest space.

"Much better." She grinned, and pulled his mouth back to hers.

Their kissing was intense, hands roaming and bodies pressing... but things were never this easy for Luke Danes. Minutes later, Lorelai pushed him back again and frowned.

"What?" He tried to keep the exasperation from his tone.

"My ass is cold. It's cold in here!"

"It's a refrigerator, Lorelai!"

"I'm sitting on pork chops Luke. Pork chops. Something is not kosher here."

"You're not Jewish Lorelai"

"Well I could be. I dated a rabbi once you know."

Luke groaned, realizing that she was, indeed, sitting on pork chops. "We're violating countless health codes, here."

Lorelai looked apalled. "My ass is on the pork chops. It's like ass chops! You're going to feed people ass chops!"

"I'll jsut serve them to Kirk." he grumbled, stepping between her knees and returning to their previous activity.

But, It still wasn't time for Luke to get lucky, because Lorelai pulled away yet again to exclaim: "OHMIGODLUKE! This is just like in sixteen candles when Sam is on the table and . . ."


"Sixteen Candles! Only one of the best 80s movies from the John Waters period and . . ."

"Lorelai. I am not Rob Lowe."

"Rob Lowe wasnt' even IN sixteen candles! But that gives me an idea!"

"Oh god."

"Fine then. No sex tape."

"Sex tape?"

"Too bad you're not Rob Lowe!"

"Wait. What was Rob Lowe in? That movie with the detention?"

"What? No! That was Emelio Estevez. And Judd Nelson! Mmm, Judd Nelson!"

He just stared at her.

"You are pretty smilar to Bender!"

Luke sighed, trying to come to terms with the fact it was going to be a really long time before he got any. "Bender?"

"Bender. Breakfast Club. Judd Nelson. I think it's the flannel."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Want me to give you my earring, you bad boy with a heart of gold?"

"I wouldn't be wearing the flannel now if you would just get on with the sex Lorelai."

"Is that what we are having? I thought we were having some sparkling banter instead."

"Lorelai..." he warned.

"Okay, okay, I guess we'll have the sex." she sighed dramatically.

The Gods must have been smiling, because Lorelai provided minimal interruptions for the rest. Aside from a breif conversation about his choice of underwear and bewilderment for why her panties said "tuesday" when it was Saturday, Luke was quite pleased with the outcome in the refrigerator. And at the bottom of the stairs. As well as the floor of his apartment and finally his bed.

Afterwards, when he wanted nothing more than to hold her and reflect on the beautiful experience they had shared, Lorelai propped her chin up on his chest and regarded him seriously.

Alarms went off inside his brain, warning him that she was going to regret what had happened, that they had moved too fast, that she'd re-evaluated and only saw him as a friend.

"You know, Luke..."

He swallowed, terrified of what she was going to say next...

"If we're going to be having bantersex, I'm going to have to fully immerse you in all the pop culture you seem to have missed."

Luke groaned, torn between releif and annoyance and dropped his head back to the pillow, rolling his eyes

"What were you DOING during the 80s? Because I was . . ."