AN: Came to me while listening to Dark Acts. I blame this piece entirely on that. Warning: Character death. Can be inserted right into Chapter 6 of 'Zeit von der Nacht'. This stands alone, but reading ZvdN helps a lot.
Worries too Late
"Put down your guns! Put them down! He's not a danger to anyone!"
i love him.
"Fire at will!"
BOOM! NO! NO! Crack! Screeaaaam, splash, SCReeeeeeEEAAAAMMmmm.
OH GOD! OHGODNOOHGODOHNO! GODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD!
Pain-inside. Blood. splatter. BoOOom! Crash! Rip! Tear! SCREEeeeEAaM!
GODGOD! don't look; don't look. sp-pit. GODGODGODGOD…
"NO! STOP!" Shuffle, Scraaaape.
i don't want to die. don't wanna die. don'twannadie… donwannadie… donwanna
my God… please?
pain. GASPgasp. taste. drip.
confusion… so confused. confused why?
help? please? help… me?
…one of you, aren't i?
They say that right before you die your life flashes before your eyes.
That might be true, but I don't think it's exactly how you think it is. What they should mean is that a million ideas and thoughts flitter in and out of your mind, but it's mostly things you wish you had done.
You wish you'd seen your mother just once more before she had died, or you wish you had kissed your brother goodbye.
You wish you'd done your homework that one time in third grade and you wanted to tell that cute kid who sits in front of you how much you like his or her ass.
Or maybe you forgot to lock the back door and you're worried that someone might break in.
You worry about that friend you never made up with and that enemy you never kicked in the shins.
You wish you'd run a little faster during that one race, or you'd told your father what an asshole he was to you when you crashed the car into that one tree.
You wish you'd hugged your sister when she'd scrapped her knee on the sidewalk or you wish you'd given your stickers to the lonely outcast that sat next to you in school.
You worry about silly things that you'd almost forgotten about, and it's all in that single second before you die. It's amazing how fast the mind can function when it's under pressure. A split second is all you need to revisit all the "should have, could have, would have" moments of your life. Pathetic isn't it? It takes you ten minutes to remember that 'of' is spelled 'o-f' and not 'o-v'. But the last moment, the moment when it's too late…that is when your brain really kicks in and gets moving.
I probably should have been more focused and worrying about something that actually mattered. Something like Marik, or my sister, or Rashid.
help? you? dying? don't wanna die. help me?
Shouldaworried 'bout never telling Marik exactly how much I loved him.
Shouldaworried 'bout not kissing my sister goodbye.
Shouldaworried 'bout not kissing Marik goodbye.
Shouldaworried 'bout all those times I had lied to everyone.
Shouldaworried 'bout telling Honda and Otogi how much their friendship meant.
… never telling Marik… I loved him.
…seeing Ryou again.
Shouldaworried… sister goodbye.
Shoulda… 'bout… Honda and Otogi…
Shouldaworried 'bout all… lied…
Shouldaworried 'bout not kissing Marik…
… worried 'bout… Ryou.
Shouldaworried 'bout… Should worried 'bout… Should worried…
eyes rolling back…
I should have… but I didn't worry.
I wondered if I could have an open casket.
I worried that my sister would wait to get married.
I worried that the bullets lodging themselves in my heart and chest had germs.
I worried about whether or not I was screaming.
I worried that I would cry.
I worried that Marik would cry.
pain. fading pain. pain gone?
knees hit the cement. th…
I worried… that you would never understand.