AN: Oh my god! I am alive! Ahahahaha...I was alive all along, just couldn't think of how to end the story…
Well, here's the epilogue. I hope you guys enjoy it.
I apologize for taking so long to do this...hope you guys didn't ditch this story… By the way…I DID NOT LEAVE IT AT KAGURA AND SESSHOUMARU TO START WITH.
Chapter 33: Epilogue: Flying with New Wings
"You should pay her a visit, after all…."
"There is no need to."
"Stop being such a jerk, Sesshoumaru." There was a loud slap on the back. "Its either you choose to let go of her, or to continue on…"
"I choose to let go, Kagura."
Kagura paused for a second, frowning. Finally she gave up, tapping her forehead with her new fan.
"Fine, if that's what you say. But at least pay her a visit, will ya?"
She sat by the lake since day one, staring into the emptiness. But one couldn't say that it was emptiness. After all, a large lake lay in front of her, full of lilies in bloom and quacking ducks. No one knew what was in her mind, nor did they bother to stop in ask. If they gathered their guts and asked, she wouldn't respond anyway. All she did was sit and stare. At the beginning, nurses at the hospital stopped by to wave or say "hi", but she didn't even twitch at their gestures. Frustrated, the nurses paid no more attention to this patient, only the doctor did.
Kaede visited her daily, talking to her about stuff that had happened in the outside world. But still her body lay motionless, as if the life was sucked out of her body. Believing in shintoism, Kaede told the patient's birth mother that her soul was left wandering in the spirit world. Motsuwa was the family name of the patient, and her mother's full name was Chihiro Motsuwa. She visited late at night, only being able to stare at her own daughter's life being spent away.
As the days passed, her progress improved. She started to smile and point at things, like the ducks in the pond. But still, she wouldn't talk. The patient also didn't need a wheel chair anymore. She slowly walked, step by step without guidance from her room to the pond.
Chihiro was pleased to see this. Her daughter no longer looked sullen and weak. Her face was now bright and full of happiness, smiling away all the miseries in the world. She had gained a spot in the hospital as a symbol of hope, for no matter what obstacles beheld her, she would always smile.
Months passed, and a year passed. She celebrated her 25th birthday in the hospital, with all the other patients, nurses, doctors, Kaede-sama and Motsuwa-san.
But on some days, Kaede and "Okaa-san" didn't come. It was either rainy, or they had to keep up with the sales in their home store. This caused the patient to feel lonely. On rainy days, she would still walk outside, sitting on the bench, letting water fall on top of her. For some reason, the rain made her remember things. There was once where she was sitting in the drizzling rain, when suddenly, her heart skipped a beat. It was an exciting and lost feeling. She tried reaching for it again, but was left hopeless and went back to her nursing room.
Little by little, she began to read. She read out loud to herself, hoping to practice her speech skills. By the end of the month, all disabilities were gone, and she was free. The only thing that kept her here was that her mind needed to heal memories that were lost.
It all happened one beautiful summer day, during the sunset. Motsuwa-san was visiting her beloved daughter at the pond, peeling away an apple with a knife. Her daughter sat next to her, staring off into the sun set. She gazed with a longing, as if some parts of her life were still missing in the sun. From time to time, Chihiro sneaked a look at her daughter staring. What did she think about all day?
"You know your mother is getting old…and I'm starting to doubt that you'll ever wake up from your dream. It looks as if you never wanted to wake up. I've done so many wrong things in life, and you shouldn't forgive me about it… But you know, I just want you to forgive me…" She said in a low voice.
The mother turned to her daughter, and tweaked a weak smile, then turned back to peeling the apple. Her daughter wasn't going to respond.
Motsuwa widened her eyes. Her daughter hasn't spoken to her like this before. She stopped peeling instantly, allowed the last strand of apple skin to fall to the floor. Tears welled in her eyes. Was this a dream or illusion? Or did Kaede's incense get to her head?
She didn't dare turn around.
"I forgive you..."
She turned around, tears already streaming down her face. The apple and knife fell from her hands, dropping into the grass. Ducks squawked in the awkward silence. Finally, her daughter's face was crying too, and they both threw their arms around each other.
Motsuwa-san sobbed, not knowing to feel happy or confused. Her daughter hugged her back tightly, trying to smile. They broke free of each other, staring into each other's eyes.
"Do you know who you are?" Motsuwa asked as she wiped her daughter's tears away with her thumbs.
She nodded slowly in return and took in a sharp breath. She then slowly said the line that she wanted to say all this time.
"I remember who I am, Okaa-san. My name is Rin Motsuwa."
Ah…It was raining again.
Rin sat on the bench, huddling under her black umbrella. She was outside in the rain, listening to the soft plitter platter of the rain drops. It was a soothing sound. Another subway passed by on the subway train, and she frowned. Sliding back her left jacket arm, she looked at her wrist watch. Trains were coming rather late today. Probably it was because of the weather.
She sighed, closing her eyes. The rain calmed her down, and slowly brought her back to old memories. Rin furrowed her eyebrows, eyes searching. But she couldn't see. Her eyes were blindfolded, but she heard the rain drops. She was no longer in the rain, but inside somewhere. The low humming of the engine was there, so she suggested that it was a car.
Her mouth was closed, but it seemed to be moving on its own. It was shouting loud comments back to somebody else in the car, full of anger. Her own voice sounded unfamiliar in her ears.
"Since when did you care? You're not to boss me around! I deserve to be treated the way everyone else is treated. I'm so tired of people talking about me, trying to kill me…because of who my parents are! But people just don't understand that I am Rin Harada, not Haku or Ivy Harada. I'm tired of -"
She suddenly felt a warm rush cover her lips and a growing desire rumbled in her. Rin felt that she couldn't breathe. And just when she thought that she was going to die of suffocation, the warmth went away.
"Because…it's because this…"
The sentence was cut short when the blaring of the train arrived into the station. Rin bolted upright, blinking to clear her memory. She coughed and straightened her umbrella. The rain had started to drip on her clothes, and now her jeans were wet. Frowning, she got up and walked towards the platform that was facing the train. Many people poured in and out of the train, rushing in the heavy rain. But Rin walked slowly, as if waiting for something. People rushed past her, pushing her body around like a doll. She didn't care though.
Her heart was pounding furiously, and she stopped. Thuds rang out in her ears, blocking out the shouting crowd. Rin tilted her head to one side and people stared at her as if she was an idiot. This familiar, rushing feeling…
She closed her eyes, and noted the train was pulling away. The crowd began to recede back under the shelter of the train station. I can almost feel as if he's here…the one I've been waiting for all this time.
But the feeling began to flutter away like the wings of a butterfly. The mysterious person was beginning to pull away slowly and silently. The cloud around her mind began to disappear, and the word surfaced onto her lips.
"Sesshoumaru…" She spoke it in a low voice to herself. Hands touched her lips as if it was a forbidden word.
Tears welled up in her eyes. He was here! Right in Hokkaido, on the platform, looking for her. The umbrella dropped from her hands, onto the floor. She spun around, blinking out tears and rain as despair hit her. But where was he? Eyes frantically searching, heart beating and adrenaline pumping, Rin ran up and down the platform in the cold rain. She was all wet now.
"Sesshoumaru!" She cupped her hands as she shouted.
After calling his name a few times, there was no hope. No one responded, except for the passengers who murmured that she was insane. She stopped, wincing her eyes and drew out the tears. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides and the nails dug deep into her flesh.
"Why can't I see you?" She whispered.
Giving up, she collapsed on her knees on the platform. The rain splattered harder now, and her hair was a matted mess. Cold wind blew into the station as the lamps turned on. Rin covered her face with both hands to stop the passerby staring at her ugly face.
His doctor had warned him not to eat ice cream, since it was high in sugar content and was bad for his health as his age. Nevertheless, he shoved another spoonful in his mouth. Too bad his doctor didn't know that he was a full fledged youkai.
Across from him a young woman sat, staring into her melting cup of strawberry ice cream. He was awed when she showed up at his house, requesting for his oldest son. But the most awed was that she was wet, most likely standing in the rain for the past couple days that was over Japan. She was escorted without a word to his son's room, and slept there for a few days. When the sun was out again, she woke up. And now, they were at the ice cream parlor eating ice cream as they had promised so long ago.
Inutaishou cleared his throat, not knowing where to begin. "Harada-san…" He spoke in a low tone.
"Inutaishou-sama, please call me Motsuwa-san now. I am not longer part of the Harada family." She said monotonically.
"Then I don't suppose that you mind me calling you Rin, Motsuwa-san?" He questioned.
"Not at all, Inutaishou-sama."
The silence fell over the both of them again, and Inutaishou moved his cup of ice cream towards the end of the table. He bent and moved Rin's too.
"I haven't seen you for the past year," he said as he moved Rin's cup, "and you have certainly grown more beautiful when I last saw you, Rin."
Rin still had her head bent down. His comments on her weren't working. Inutaishou sighed. He had to go to the main point then.
"Rin, you're here to look for Sesshoumaru, right?" He asked.
Rin suddenly pushed her cup back in front of her, and poked at the ice cream with her spoon. She ate hungrily, shoving as much as she could into her mouth. She didn't say anything, not until she was finished with her ice cream. Inutaishou stared as Rin ate in a greedily manner. He waited patiently, and in less than five minutes, she was done.
"You can have mine too." He pushed his cup towards Rin.
Rin took it and began the painful shoving again. This time, tears were streaming down her face, and each spoon began to slow down. But she continued to eat, up until a point where she felt like throwing up.
"I know you can't handle the truth Rin, but Sesshoumaru is already…"
Rin lowered her head onto the smooth and cold table, closing her eyes. This is was all a lie. Please let this be a lie…
"He died while on a business trip to Canada. The planes' jets had something thrown into it, and it landed in the middle of the ocean. No youkai had the power to survive that, Rin."
She was silent for a while, eyes still closed. A waitress came by, placing the bill on the counter. He paid for it, and when the waitress left with the money, Rin spoke.
"I'm sorry to hear that your son has died." Rin tried to hold back her shaky voice.
She felt like throwing up all the ice cream that she had just ate.
Inutaishou sighed, running fingers through his hair. It took him a while to cope with Sesshoumaru's death.
"Is there any grave that I can visit, Inutaishou-sama?"
"His grave lies in the Americas, unfortunately."
Without further ado, Rin rose and got out of her seat. She grabbed her purse, adjusted it to her shoulder and turned to Inutaishou. She bowed lowly, and looked back up again. Rin's head was still a bit looking at the floor.
"Is it ok if I stay at your place before I return to Hokkaido? I want to take back some old memories."
Inutaishou nodded, and waved her off. She turned and practically ran out of the door. Shaking his head, he waved at a nearby waitress. The waitress hurried over, bending to take his order.
"What can I help you with sir?" She asked in a polite manner.
"Ah…give me one more cup of strawberry ice cream." He requested.
"Yes sir, it will be ready in a few minutes."
She walked away, heels tapping against the tiles. Inutaishou still stared at the door Rin had run out of.
Rin took a taxi home back to Inutaishou's residence, and she spent her whole afternoon reminiscing. From the maids, she learned that Inuyasha and Kagome were happily married, and was on a honeymoon, with no expected time due back. She paced throughout the hallways of the place, staring at windows and tapestries. The carpet muffled her walking, and she pleasantly smiled at every maid that passed by. Time passed quickly and when Rin stopped at a window to stare, she noticed that it was almost sunset.
Across from the window had a door that was half opened, as if welcoming her to go in.
She hesitated at first, then walked in anyway without permission. It wasn't allowed in this place, but something inside was so tempting.
The familiar smell flew up to her face as she inhaled the air. No doubt that this was Sesshoumaru's room. Everything was untouched, and Rin walked over to the bed. She allowed herself to sit on one corner, staring at the dark sheets that lay. Using one trembling hand, she smoothed the sheets. It was new. Her eyes traveled up to the pillows, and she grinned.
The memory of the feathers in the room surrounded her, and once more, she was surrounded in a room full of flying feathers that came from the pillows. Yes, she remembered that one very clearly. With her being immature and calling him a pervert and him pouncing on top of her and breathing in her neck. She touched her neck with her free hands, then her lips. It was as if this was only yesterday that he did this to her.
She was angry with herself. Why did she only notice now how much she loved and missed him after his death?
She fled from the room, wanting to get out of this. Breathing hard, she ran down the hallways, trying to find an exit. She wanted to be back in Hokkaido, away from this memory filled place. This was all too overwhelming for her. Passing by gasping maids, and sunset filled halls, she finally found her way to the garage. Cars parked there had no keys, and taxis took too much time. An old bike lay in one corner, and she took it. Grasping it by the handles, she pedaled off into the sunset.
She wanted it all to be gone, away from her head. Only concentrating on the pedaling of her bike was what she did. She finally grew tired, and stopped.
Where she stopped at was a large grassy hill overlooking more grassy plains. This place…was the first time that InuGold held its picnic. Out of all the places, Rin's instincts have driven her here to where they…
She shook her head in a childish manner as a warm gust of wind blew by. The bike dropped to the grass as she walked down the hill, towards the lake.
For a while, she walked, admiring the nature around her. The flowers on the trees were in late bloom, and some petals had already begun to fall. Strong summer winds sometimes blew petals all about her. Birds and insects flew or buzzed past her face. She was approaching closer to the lake. When she had reached the shore, a rowing boat lay there, as if waiting for her. Fate was playing tricks on her, right?
Reluctantly she walked over to the boat and bent forward. The right leg went in before the left leg. Using all her force, she pushed the row boat away from the sandy shore and it dropped with a large plop. Small waves carried her and the boat farther from the shore. She stared at it longingly, as if she should be on the shore, not on the boat.
The row boat stopped after a while, since the waves no longer pushed, but were reduced to ripples. Sighing, Rin grabbed the handles and pulled. Pull, push, pull, push was all she thought about during the ride. She didn't notice that she was crying, not until her arms screamed at her for mercy and the muscles burned. Rin finally let go and the row boat stopped. She pulled her knees up to her face, and covered her face with them.
Why didn't these tears stop? The constant pain in her heart lay, and she wanted to scream. After all this time, she had been a complete stranger to him, knocking off his feelings. But then again, didn't he lie to her about his emotions?
I'm so confused…
She shivered against the blowing cool wind for a while, coughing and gasping for air. The tears still wouldn't stop, no matter how hard she tried. She no longer knew where she was, or knew what time it was.
The sun was at its lowest now, shining its last orange glow on the day. Birds flew overhead, squawking. The bugs started to settle in, along with a nasty bunch of mosquitoes. Rin grew annoyed, and furrowed her eyebrows. Sure, she wanted to stop crying her eyes out, but the mosquito wasn't an excuse to stop crying!
Without picking up her head, she fumbled around the boat for a can of insect repellent or something. She laughed at herself. Why would a boat have a can of insect repellent? She was beginning to get annoyed. Passed memories were haunting her now. But she still kept on fumbling around, hoping to find something. Finally, she was handed a can and she looked up. Her eyes scanned it, and it was a can of repellent.
"Thanks," she muttered. She quickly sprayed it all around, and then dropped the can.
As if rolled towards the bow of the boat, she widened her eyes. Wasn't that can handed over to me?
Rin suddenly felt arms entwine her, hugging her tightly. Someone was behind her, breathing lightly. She panicked, not knowing what to do. Eyes rolling, she waited as the person laid their head on her left shoulder.
Impatient, she turned her head around and looked at the person. Her mouth was left agape, and felt a red blush rise to her cheeks.
She was cut off quickly. Without letting her finish his name, he had already pushed his lips over hers. Rin closed her eyes, and allowed her to be pushed onto the floor of the boat. As she continued kissing him, a weird thought came over her. Didn't he already die?
She pushed him off of herself, and looked into his eyes. They were still a nice golden hue, staring back into her eyes.
"Rin." He whispered as he pushed strands of hair away from her face.
Rin's lower lip trembled, and slowly her hands went to cover her face. He saw the tears trickle down into her neck line. "This is so cruel...you died, and now I'm having illusions…" She sobbed.
His eyebrows knotted together, and he pulled her hands away from her face, forcing her to stare at him once again. Another warm air blew past them, blowing the hair off his back.
"Chichi-ue lied. I never died on some phony air plane trip. I had actually gone to Hokkaido to look for you, but was distraught when Motsuwa-san said that you went to the city to look for this Sesshoumaru." He spoke calmly in his monotone voice.
Rin paled, and swallowed her tears. So this was all a lie after all? "S-so this is all a lie?" She choked.
Sesshoumaru backed off and allowed Rin to sit up. She ruffled clumps of her hair, and stared all around. Another trap she had fallen into. Bending her knees under her, she looked at him, and smiled, trying not to cry. "Well, at least you're still alive." She whispered.
They sat staring at the scenery around them for a moment, not knowing what to say. Actually there was really nothing to say. Rin laughed dryly, and scratched her head again. What could she say during this time? Finally, it dawned on her. He was doing it to her all the time, but then again, she never really did it to him.
Gently, she placed her hands over his eyes, and drew close to his ear. I'll end it how my guardian mother, Harada-san, did in her picture books…
"I now know who I've been waiting for all along."
And without another word, she placed her very kiss on his lips.
AN: Yeah, really sappy. I'll remember that the next story I do will be LESS SAPPY.
Next Story: I will continue Stolen Voices, and delete Missing the Chance…
Meanwhile, I'll start on a new SessRin fic that deals with their bond and the end of the world…
Thanks to reviewers:
Steven Kolt: Thankies!
SesshoumaruLover: I had to make a crushed ending…otherwise there wouldn't be an epilogue…
Angels Heart 1622: GAH! REVIVES You have to live to see the epilogue! Sorry it came so late though…
Tira's Heart: It was so close though…she did sort of wake up and he wasn't there for her…
Icygirl2: I had a good summer, thank you…(3)…
Youkai No Rin: Yes, you haven't reviewed me since forever! (T.T) But its ok… Eh? I'm not planning to write a sequel for this story… Their story is already done…()
Ladyrinremix: Thankies for your comment…
Zero's Shadow: It is…otherwise, it wouldn't take place in the modern world…
SarnoKiko: (Laughs evilly) MWUHAHAHAHAHA! Well, thanks for the comment.
SRFAN: But I never left it at Sesshoumaru and Kagura…. Its ok though…I didn't see it as a rude comment…
Animedorkette: Your pleases are answered….
Kenaisya-chan: Thanks for the review… Yes, I am also a Naraku/Kikyou basher…
Diana: I didn't make it a Kagura Sesshoumaru fiction….
Random Reader: It's sad that this story has to go to an end, and you were such a great reviewer… Naraku shot himself…and thank you for reviewing this story. Well, I do hope that our paths cross again.
I hope that I didn't forget anyone. Thanks to all the recent reviewers too.