My first HP fanfiction; short one shot...enjoy. I own nothing; J.K. Rowling does, and I'd like to meet her. During Azkaban, before Lupin's secret is revealed.; angsty. Just to let you know, I've not seen Azkaban, or read the book(plan on it, though), so if the kids don't call Remus 'sir', then oh well, I'm wrong.
And don't yell at me; I have read books 1,2, and 4. No, I don't know why I skipped POA


Things always ran slow around the holidays; what with everyone going home and all. The halls were quieter, everything took on a sort of numb feeling. Harry knew for a fact that you could find one place to stay and not be seen the whole holiday.

He wanted to do that now; just run away and hide, to find some place that he wouldn't be seen. Blood thrummed through his veins. He hadn't done anything; Ron was the only one he'd been in contact with all day.

Harry finally found a hidden crawlspace, near a flight of stairs. It was almost like the room he'd slept in at Number 4, Privet Drive for all those years. His hand ran over the scar on his forehead.

He cursed it. Cursed Voldemort, cursed the Durselys, cursed everything. He pressed himself tight against the wall, desperate to not be seen.

The Boy Who Lived. That's what they called him. Lived, they said, but now Harry knew what they meant. Lived, which meant that he was the only one who could ultimatly do what they couldn't; kill Him.

The burden; it was too heavy. They expected him to be something he wasn't. It'd been that way when he came to Hogwarts, everyone had their own idea of what he was like.

If they were to see him cry; what mockery! Bitter tears made their way down Harry's face. He could hear the voice now; it sounded oddly like his classmates, but not Draco, like he thought it would.

"The Boy Who Lived! Look at him, too weak to fight! A lie all along!"

Despite his bitterness, Harry began to laugh. A small, stifled laugh, but one just the same. God; or whoever was above now, he didn't even know; he knew, after Voldemort had come back, it wouldn't end. He could see that. And, the odd thing was, the thought of death wasn't so unappealing to him any more. He did not want it but...if that was what it would take to destroy Voldemort once and for all...he could do that.

He wept the tears from his face and waited. He was sure that he looked like he had just cried; and he didn't want to show that face to anyone. Eventually, he came out of the crawlspace and wandered back to the hall, bumping into Remus Lupin.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir, I," Harry's voice was weak, and he was sure the teacher heard it. But Remus smiled.

"It's quite alright Harry. I'm going out for a walk...I was probably in need of a push to get me out the door." he chuckled.

Harry cocked his head.

"A walk? It's nearly sundown. Are you sure that is safe, sir?"

Remus smiled again, though weakly.

"Very. Run along, Harry."

"Yes sir"

Harry made a quick, half-hearted sprint for the great Hall, watching his teacher go with curiousity. He seemed to be on edge about something, but what?

"Harry! There you are; I've been waiting nearly half an hour for you! Time to eat"

Ron was already sitting at the table, food on his plate. Harry smiled slightly and joined his friend.

Ron looked up at the bewitched ceiling.

"Oh, would you look at that...full moon tonight..."
Like? Dislike? Review please.

-bows-

Review responses:
duj: this is on the verge of a flame but..I get it. Perhaps there was one night where Lupin chose to walking into the Dark Forest and run free; he is a were(as in 'spirit'), you know. I would venture to say that he went running at least once; it's in the nature of a wolf
The 'parallel' (if you want to call it that) is a comparaison of Harry and Lupin's suffering. This whole one shot came together as I wrote it anyway. [hangs head and goes off to see POA]

Asiss and Kim: Thanks for the reviews; I get ones like yours everytime I post a one-shot. Thing is, I leave them as is...leaves more of an impact.

Shedoc10: Thanks for the review but; I haven't read 'Order Of The Phoenix' yet. "The 'rents would spazz", to use teen lingo. They think it drags people to 'evil'...whatever. That's what all my fics (and sadly, not many fanfics around here) are supposed to be; a good read. Why write if it's unintellegable. smiles Good ol' Ron, eh? He is my favorite character in HP..besides Snape...shakes head Shame that I'd be in Ravenclaw.. See? I actually listen!