DISCAIMER: Don't own Resident Evil or Charlie Daniel's "Devil Went Down to Georgia"
A/N: It seems I'm having a run of song parody ideas today. So here, have another one just for fun… Oh! For those of you who have heard this song you know that most of the lines are actually spoken. So anything in italics is sung.
"Wesker Went Up to Umbrella" as sung by Leon S. Kennedy, Albert Wesker, and Hunk.
[Leon stands before a microphone, behind him are Claire on drums, Jill on guitar, Chris on fiddle, and Carlos on bass guitar. They all appear to be standing in front of an Umbrella Installation, with looks a great deal like a cross between the Spencer Mansion and the Training Facility.]
Wesker went up to Umbrella
He was looking for a virus to steal
He was in a bind
Cause his quota was behind
And he figured maybe he could make a deal
When he came across this young guy shooting at zombies
And killing a lot
Wesker jumped into the fray and said
U.B.C.S. Boy let me tell you something
I'm an evil killer too
And if you'd care to take a chance
I'll make a deal with you
Now you shoot zombies pretty good boy
But give a virus enhanced bastard his due
I bet a paycheck from HCF against one from Umbrella
That says I can steal a virus before you
And the guy said…
My name's Hunk and it might be against the rules
But I'll take your deal and you're in trouble now
Cause they call me death and I'm the best Umbrella has
Hunk clean up your berretta
And keep your ammo pouch full
Cause hell's broke loose at Umbrella
And Wesker's a treacherous bastard
And if you beat him
You'll get an HCF paycheck
But if you lose you'll lose your weekly wage
Wesker jumped through a nearby window yelling..
I'll go first
Wesker sped down hall through hall
Killing guards as he went
It looked a lot like a blood bath
A band of guards started shooting
It sounded a lot like WW III
(Chris has a fiddle solo)
And when he had returned
He had a G-Virus sample
Gained in ten minutes flat
And when Wesker sent him a cocky smile
Well you're not too bad son
But sit down on the dead zombie there
And let a professional show you how it's done
Wesker's outside boy
Run Hunk run
An HCF paycheck is waiting
All you need is a virus sample
And you could be that much richer
(Chris has another solo)
Wesker bowed his head as Hunk returned
Carrying a GT-Virus sample
Gotten in 3 minutes flat
Wesker pulled out his wallet handing over several hundred dollar bills
And Hunk said…
Wesker you come on back
Should you ever wanna deal again
Cause I've said it once you son of a bitch
I'm the best Umbrella has
Wesker smiled evilly
Slamming a fist into Hunk's face
Now he had two viruses and his money back
True that's not how the song's supposed to end
But Wesker is a bastard
And the writer is a Fan Girl
I mean what did you expect?
[Leon stares at the lyric sheets for a few seconds, then looks back at Chris. Chris shrugs then, his mouth drops open as Wesker walks by with a pretty short haired girl who was giggling and hanging off his arm.]
Leon: Is that the author?
Chris: I think so.
Claire: Is it just me, or does Wesker look a bit uncomfortable?
Jill: Oh yea, he's suffering.
[Wesker glances behind him, mouthing the words HELP ME. Our good guys first start giggling and then break down laughing. Wesker is quickly pulled away by our rabid authoress, who appears to be carrying some butterscotch syrup.]
A/N: I hope you enjoyed!! Reviews would be greatly appreciated.