Title: I Hear You Dream of Me

Authors: Angel Leviathan & Aimee5

Sam/Jack, humour, season 3-ish, pg-13

Disclaimer: Somehow I don't think they're ours… We're just borrowing them, and inflicting our odd sense of humour on them.

Summary: 'In a way, he wished he hadn't been awake when she'd started muttering.'

Authors' Notes: All fear the snail… all fear our stealthily trained sheep… Ok, yes, we are crazy. And snails and stealthy sheep are mentioned in this fic. But you'll understand why and how on earth they come into it once you've read it. Hope you enjoy what our twisted minds manage to create!

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I Hear You Dream of Me (1/1)

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In a way, he wished he hadn't been awake when she'd started muttering. He'd heard her sigh, scream and occasionally mutter single words in her sleep before…she hadn't got to the stage of stringing sentences together. Jack considered jamming his fingers into his ears, or at least hiding deeper within his sleeping bag, when something she muttered made his eyes widen, unable to stop staring over at her.

"…Teal'c…no…the sheep…stealth…no, they're making noise…I thought you'd trained them…"

Okay, now this was new ground. He wanted to wake her up, to stop her mumblings, but at the same time he really wanted to know just what the hell she was on about.

"The sheep, Teal'c… quiet… normally so quiet… no, not the snails!"

Jack sat up. To say he was confused was an understatement.

Sheep? Snails? Teal'c? He leaned closer to her.

"Stealthy…stealthy sheep…normally so quiet…"

She tossed around in her sleeping bag slightly, causing Jack to pull back, afraid she'd wake up with her CO leaning in to her.

"Snails…in the trees…with the bats…you said!…the sheep...stealthy!"

Their line of work could do twisted things to people, to their minds. But this was just plain…

"…They're making noise I tell you…!" Sam's voice got progressively louder as her eyes flew open and she jolted into a sitting position, nearly hitting Jack round the head as she flailed her arms. Exhaling, she glanced across at him, to find him lying there, head propped on one elbow, a smug grin on his face.

"Good dream, Carter?"

She stared, "Hope I didn't wake you, Sir."

He pondered this for a moment, "Wake me up? I guess you could say that. But it was worth it."

Sam blushed and remained silent.

"Talk in your sleep, Carter?" Jack questioned.

She glared, "…It's been known to happen."

"Oh really?"

"Alright, Sir, out with it, what utterly humiliating things did you hear? Just so I know what Daniel is laughing about in the morning."

"What about Teal'c?"

With the mention of that name she blushed again, "He'll just…smile."

An irrational flicker of jealousy was present within him before he ruthlessly quashed it.

"Sheep, Carter?"

"Oh…" she paled.

"Yes…" he emphasised, "oh."

She was silent.

"Are you going to explain?"

"Do I have to?"

"Sheep, Carter?" he repeated. "And snails?"

"Oh crap," she attempted to hide in her sleeping bag.

"And, what was it, stealth?"

She remained silent, peeking up from inside.

"And of course, Teal'c."

"Crap," he heard her mutter as she withdrew further into her sleeping bag.

He unzipped the side and pulled it back, revealing her red face. "You dream about Teal'c?"

"…I dream about other things too…"

As much as he wanted to stop there, curiosity got the better of him. "Teal'c?" he raised an eyebrow impersonating their friend. She giggled.

"No giggling, Major."

She stifled it. "Sorry."

She looked at him; he wasn't backing down.

"Ok," she took the plunge. "Don't you think that if ever Teal'c… trained sheep…"

He looked at her as though she had grown a second head.

"Teal'c a farmer? I'm not seeing it…"

"No, no," she shook her head, "not a farmer. This is a dream, remember, the world of unreality. Anyway, in a dream, were Teal'c to… train sheep, don't you think they'd be…" she blushed and looked away. "I can't believe I'm even attempting to explain this." She met his eyes again. "Stealthy. Don't you think they'd be stealthy?"

"So… you dream about Teal'c…" he repeated.

"…I dream about other things too…"

"…Do I want to know?" Jack asked.

She dared to smile, "…Probably not, Sir."

She dreamt about Teal'c. Not him, not even Daniel. Just Teal'c. Daniel might have been acceptable. But Teal'c! …Lucky bastard, he silently fumed.

"Goodnight, Sir," Sam evidently wanted to end the conversation swiftly. She zipped her sleeping bag back up, covering her face and closing her eyes. Like she was going to get any sleep now!

"…Night, Carter…" he was still somewhat bemused by the whole incident. Shutting his eyes and drawing his sleeping bag back around him, he attempted to drift back off.

With a grin, she tried to force her breathing into what she hoped he'd presume was a proper sleeping rhythm. Several minutes of silences passed; no movement, no nothing. Crap. Maybe he was asleep. But no. Sam couldn't help herself…

"Jack…" she moaned, "…Jack…don't stop…"

Oh he was awake now.

The top section of his sleeping bag was flung back as he stared at her in disbelief.

She revealed the top of her head and unzipped her sleeping bag further, bursting into laughter, trying to muffle the noise, in case they woke the others. Her laughter was soon joined by his as he reached out to swipe at her head.

Sam ducked and continued to laugh uncontrollably, "See, Sir…" she took a desperate gasp of air, trying to control herself, "…I dream about…" more laughter, "other things too!"

Jack tried to attack her again, "Anything else there, Major?"

"Oh no," she shook her head, grinning, trying to suppress further laughter that threatened to escape, "Just you and me."

"Just you and me?"

"Indeed."

A scream of laughter was heard from the tent as she caught the look on his face.

Priceless.

Fin