Title: Rock and a Hard Place

Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm making no money from this. Done purely for entertainment purposes.

Author's Note: Not beta'd.

Rock and a Hard Place

Carter and Daniel were travelling worriedly in her car towards the Colonel's house. She'd been helping Daniel to clear out some of his old junk to make room for the books that were starting to collect on his living room floor when the call from the mountain came through. SG1 were needed on base immediately as one of the planets that the diplomatic teams had been working with had suddenly threatened to break off relations until they could speak to the members of SG1, the first team to go to the planet. The General had informed her that he had had no luck in contacting Colonel O'Neill, either at home, on his cell or with his pager. She knew that the Colonel had told them that he intended on 'going home, watching the game, eating pizza and drinking beer' so she was confused at his lack of response. Conferring with Daniel she informed the General that they'd swing by his house to see whether he was there and what the problem was.

When they reached the house, the Colonel's truck was in the driveway. Starting to get slightly worried as the General had already said they'd tried his house phone, she and Daniel hurried to the front door and knocked.

There was no answer.

Carter tried the handle and the door swung open, the house beyond the open door ominously quiet. Looking at each other in dread, she and Daniel eased into the hallway intending to search the house. From further inside there came an almighty crashing noise. Quickly glancing at each other with identical expressions of dread, Carter and Daniel rushed towards the sound. What Carter saw pulled her up short, Daniel almost cannoning into her, stopping just in time by shoving his hands out to try and wedge himself between the walls of the hallway. Peering over Sam's shoulder, his heart double timing in his chest and a constriction in his throat over what horrors he would find in the room he was unprepared for the true awfulness of the scene. In the middle of the room was Jack and 'oh my God what, but what was he doing?'

The object of their scrutiny was currently randomly jumping around, eyes shut, hockey stick held horizontally across his chest, one hand making a strumming motion while what was unmistakably rock music, could be heard from his headphones, even from across the room. The unanswered phone calls now made sense.

The song ended and Jack came back to himself feeling as if he was being watched. Spinning in place he turned to find two of his teammates staring at him, mouths agape. Daniels mouth twitched.

'Oh God!' Jack thought. 'Thor? Now would be a good time buddy!' Now Carters mouth was starting to go and Daniel had broken out into a full smile. Jack could feel the blush starting at the top of his head and working right down his face and disappearing into the T-shirt he was wearing.

"Hi kids, didn't hear you come in" he tried to brazen it out but he could tell he was busted.

Clearing her throat and with a suspicious tremble to her voice Carter informed him that the General had been calling to ask him to come in and when he'd got no response he'd sent them out to find him.

"The General expressly asked us to tell him why you didn't answer Sir." Stated Carter with an almost straight face. Daniel, with much less control, had resorted to physically holding his hands over his mouth to try and keep the giggles in. His eyes were tearing up with the effort.

Looking resigned, Jack gave in. "Ok Carter, what will it cost?"

"Cost Sir?" she asked, plastering an innocent look on her face.

"To keep this between ourselves" he answered, his face starting to droop as the full horror of his situation started to sink in.

"A large box of those expensive chocolates from the shop I like and 2 bags of the premium coffee Daniel drools over" she answered swiftly with a wide smile on her face.

"Done" he answered, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "So what are we gonna tell the General as my reason?" he asked.

An evil smile lit up Carters face.

"Well Sir, I was thinking. Maybe we found you in the bath and you'd got your toe stuck in the tap and that was why you...." continued Carter as he tuned out of the conversation.

This was going to be worse than he thought.