Disclaimer: Not mine, but don't tell me that. I'm still in denial about it.

Summary: The pink nightie: She hated it; He loved it. Throw a disturbing magazine and an overprotective cat into the mix and what do you get? Ron/Hermione, of course!

Rating: PG-13 for mentions of girly parts... actually not. Just a bit of kissing, and PG seems a little wimpy.

Author's Note: I had fun writing this! I don't really know why, but I did. I hope you have fun reading it!

The Nightie

The summer after fifth year, the Burrow was way too crowded. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ron, Ginny, Percy (who had apologized for his rude behavior), Fred, George, Bill, Charlie, Hermione, Harry, Fleur (with Bill), and Lisa (Charlie's dragon-taming girlfriend) were all cramped into the magical house. Harry and Ron were by default in Ron's room, Bill and Fleur were in Bill and Charlie's old room, Fred and George were in their own room, Charlie and Lisa (much to Ginny's horror) were in Ginny's room, Percy was in his own room, and Ginny got to share a bed with Hermione in the living room.

These arrangements hadn't been too big of a problem for Hermione or Ginny (and it hadn't been for the past two weeks), but Hermione had a small dilemma. She was running out of pajamas. She really didn't want to been seen by anyone in her last two choices. All she had left was a small, pink nightie and her long, hot (and don't forget to mention, ugly) flannels. There was no way she would wake up all sweaty and disgusting in front of Ro—all the Weasleys and company.

She lifted the dreaded nightie out of her suitcase with a scowl on her face. All of its girly pink silkiness and frilly lace was disgusting. She wanted to puke. She threw the nightie onto the bed as if it were something gross (in her mind it was). The only reason Hermione even had it was because her favorite aunt had given it to her.

"Oh, goodness," she eyed the garment with disgust, "I can't believe I have to wear this scrap of everything I despise and avoid. Ugh. I'm surprised it doesn't sparkle." Ginny looked over at the offending garment and giggled. She ran her finger over it and watched as it gleamed in the light of the fire.

"But it does sparkle, Hermione!" She laughed and picked up the pajamas (as if it could be called that). "Of all the girls I know, you are the one I least expected to wear a pink shimmery nightie. That seems more like something Lavender or Parvarti would do." Hermione gave Ginny the evil eye as she held the nightie up to her and gave an appraising nod.

"But, surprisingly, it suits you quite—"

"If you finish that sentence I will be forced to take drastic measures."

Ginny was laughing as she said, "What are you going to do to me? Blind me with your shiny pink n—"She never saw the pillow coming at her face until she had a mouthful of cotton.

====0====

Hermione was in her and Ginny's temporary bathroom. She had already showered, brushed her hair, brushed her teeth, flossed, and dried her hair (which was quite a task in itself). She still had a warm and slightly wet towel wrapped around her when she opened the door. Ginny looked up from her diary when she heard the noise. She was sitting on the bed with a slight smile on her face.

"That has to be the longest time it has ever taken anyone to get ready to sleep for however long." So Hermione was stalling. The nightie was draped innocently across the head of the bed waiting to be worn. "And you haven't even gotten into your pajamas yet!" Hermione blushed. She walked up to Ginny and snatched the nightie from right behind her shoulder.

"Maybe there is a reason I took so long," Hermione said with a scowl. Ginny just smirked playfully as Hermione retreated to the bathroom, embarrassed.

Once the door was shut, Hermione let the towel fall to the floor with a wet plop. Afterwards, she slid the nightie over her shoulder and down to where it belonged...but it never got there. The small pink thing only came down to the middle of her thighs, but it was already threatening to expose her chest to the world (or at least her reflection)! She couldn't wear this!

She walked quickly out of the bathroom ignoring her thoughts that the nightie made her legs look absolutely stunning. She moved towards her suitcase, intending to change into her hot, itchy flannels. Anything would be better than this. She was about to grab the flannels when she felt a hand on her arm.

"Please don't tell me you are going to change now. You've been worked up about it all night. Just wear it!"

"But Ginny, it's indecent!"

"I don't see anything wrong with it."

"You don't understand. I can't wear this! I'm practically naked! What if your parents see me? What would they think?" During Hermione's mini-rant, Ginny had deftly moved towards the suitcase. She got the flannels and quickly ran up to the second story or the house. Hermione rapidly realized what she was doing and chased after her. Ginny reached the opening to the second story hall and threw the flannels in front of Fred and George's door.

"You go for them, and I yell. Then, the twins see you 'practically naked' and make fun of you forever for it." Ginny was fast on her feet. She definitely had a mischievous streak in her. Then, she moved towards the door and knocked. Hermione was hiding in the stairwell when the door opened.

"Hey, George—"

"I'm not George, I'm Fred." Ginny rolled her eyes and picked up the bundle on the floor.

"Whatever. Just take these for the night." She threw the plaid pajamas at him.

"Sure thing, little sis. Fred and I can do something to them. Make them less ugly, maybe. They sure need it."

"I knew you were George! Ha!" She smirked.

"Or am I?" The door was then quietly shut. Ginny walked over to the staircase and patted Hermione on the back.

"My work here is done. I'm sure one of my big brothers would appreciate it if he knew." Hermione blushed and the implication and walked down the stairs. When she got to the bottom she heard her cat yowling and meowing. She rushed to the door and let Crookshanks in.

"Aww, baby, I'm sorry. Mummy's being nice letting you in, unlike your mean auntie," she cooed. This was accompanied with a perfect little pout.

"Oh, stuff it, Hermione. If it's any consolation, I think you look good in it." Hermione just rolled her eyes and tried to yank the nightie down a bit more to cover her thighs.

====0====

"Hey, Harry! Look at what I found!" Ron and Harry had been very bored and had decided to raid the storage closet next to Ron's room. They were hoping to find some retro broom or some cool seventies magazine so that they could amuse themselves.

The magazine clutched tightly in Ron's hand definitely lived up to the two boys' standards. The title THE JOLLY WIZARD sparkled brightly, and underneath it a very pretty witch stood in bright colored robes that were slightly open. Underneath her there was a caption that read "what's under her robes? Find out on page 38!"

Harry glanced up at the magazine Ron was waving in front of his face and his eyes bugged out. He was grinning widely.

"Jackpot!"

"What does that mean?"

"Nevermind. Come on! Let's get to your room" The boys all but ran into the room and just remembered not to slam the door when they heard someone climbing up or down the stairs.

They flung themselves onto the bed and opened the treasured magazine to a random page. A witch with brown curly hair cut in a retro style stood there in all of her naked glory. Both Harry and Ron were puzzled by the fact that she looked like someone they had met, but neither of them could place who it was.

"Hey, Ron, does she look familiar to you?"

"Yes, actually." The witch in the picture began to move around in a suggestive manner. She got out her wand and conjured a bunch of sex toys into the picture. The boys could hear her speaking.

"Mmm... let me gaze into your crystal balls. I see you and me in the future..." Harry and Ron looked to the opposite page to see who it was. Ron barely kept himself from letting out a girlish squeal of disgust.

Hello, my name is Sybil Trelawney. I'm currently apprenticing the great seer, Esmerelda Fogg. Some things I like are Divination, walks on the beach, and long, passionate sex. My favorite types of music are songs by The Magic Carpets. I'm 23, and I'm glad to be a part of your sexy dreams tonight.

There was more on the page to read, but Harry had shut the magazine after the young Professor Trelawney started to say something dirty again. He took the magazine and left the room for a bit. When Harry came back, it was gone.

"We will speak of this to nobody. Ever. I think I'm scarred for life." Ron smirked and pointed at Harry's forehead.

"But you already are."

"Ha bloody ha. I'm going to bed now. Maybe in the morning the vision of my Professor's naked arse will be gone from my memory." After a few minutes of squirming around, Harry was sleeping like a baby. But try as he might, Ron couldn't get to sleep. He tossed and turned for a good fifteen minutes, but he still felt restless. Maybe a glass of water would relax him a bit.

====0====

"Night, Hermione. You going to sleep yet?"

"Actually, no. I think I'm going to read a bit. Do you think your mum would mind if I borrowed one of her books for the night?" She gestured towards the shelf across the room.

"Probably not. Go ahead and get one." Hermione stood and moved towards the cluttery, but nice bookshelf. It didn't have any informational books, not that she expected there to be any. But it was nice to learn something new. Actually, the only books there were romance, cooking, or by Gilderoy Lockhart. She decided on one, and moved back across the room.

Hermione sat down on the cough gracefully, book in hand. But she had a small problem. Her nightie had ridden up and exposed even more of her thighs. She tried crossing her legs, but that just made it worse. She stood up, yanked down the nightie, and quickly sat. It didn't help.

"Just give up, Hermione," a sleep Ginny voiced from across the room. A few minutes later she could hear soft snores muffled by a pillow. Ginny was a heavy sleeper, so she could make a little noise without waking her up. She tried to yank down her nightie a few more times for her modesty's sake, and then took Ginny's advice. It wasn't like anyone was going to come down and watch her curl up with a nice book.

She put the novel she had decided to borrow from Mrs. Weasley on the sidetable. Once she got comfortable on the plush couch, she picked it up. Her nightie was temporarily forgotten. She opened her book, The Silver Night. She loved the wonderful feeling she got when she opened a book that she had never read before.

She was just about to start reading when she heard a noise that sounded like a mix between a gasp and a cough. It wasn't very loud, but the rest of the house was silent so she heard it clearly. She looked towards where the sound came from and saw a very red Ron. He was staring at her exposed legs, which were curled near her. She blushed a red that almost matched Ron.

"Ron! What are you doing down here? I thought you were sleeping," she said, more embarrassed than she had ever been in her entire life, except for maybe that time she had turned into a cat/human thing. He was still staring at her legs. She tried to cover them, but yet again, it didn't help at all.

"Er... I just came to get a glass of water so that maybe—er—I could get to sleep." His voice was a little higher pitched than usual. His eyes were glued to Hermione, but not her face. He had never ever seen her looking so...sexy. He quickly moved towards the kitchen. Hermione was stiff on the couch, mortified. A few minutes later, Ron returned with his glass of water in hand.

"I guess I'll be going now. Good night, 'Mione." He was blushing, but he managed to keep his eyes trained on Hermione's face. She could tell he was trying to keep the situation less embarrassing for her, and she thought it was sort of cute. As cute as Ron could be, anyway... and that was pretty cute.

"Oh, Ron, you can stay. I don't mind." His eyes got a tiny bit bigger. It wouldn't have been noticeable to the normal person, but Hermione was one observant girl. She patted a spot next to her on the blue couch, trying to ignore how much skin she was showing and act normal. Ron moved mechanically to sit. He glanced at the book in her lap.

"So, what are you reading at this hour? Please don't tell me it's for school. Harry and I found something to read sort-of... more like a picture book. That didn't—oh wait; I'm not supposed to tell." He looked embarrassed as he talked about Harry and the book they found was brought up. Something must have happened.

"Actually, I'm reading The Silver Knight by Daisy Lovejoy. So far it's okay, but I'm not that far into it yet."

"Ugh. It sounds girly." He smiled at Hermione.

"It is. But it's a nice break from reading about shriveled rat brains and other nasty stuff in various potions." Ron quietly mock gasped.

"Hermione not wanting to study for something! The world is coming to an end!" He got a light smack on his pajama-covered arm from Hermione. He poked her side in retaliation. She just rolled her eyes and moved to pick up her book, but, much to her surprise, it wasn't in her lap anymore. Ron had the book in his hand. He was flipping through it.

"Ron, give it back!"

"Hahaha no. Listen to this:
'The knight's armor glistened in the soft moonlight, and Mary looked
towards him, admiration beaming in her eyes. She leisurely moved into
his arms, and flipped up his visor.

"Don't I get a kiss from my hero," she whispered with a coy smile. She
cupped her hands around his sculpted face and sighed. Then, he swept his
lips over her soft ones in a breathtaking kiss.'

Haha! This is great!"

"Ronald Weasley, you give it here," Hermione said, blushing.

"No." Hermione didn't care what it took. She would get that book back.

"Give it to me. Now." She put on her serious face, but it was hard to maintain it. This whole situation was ridiculous.

"Never!" She jumped onto him, giggling, and after a few seconds of struggle, Ron froze. She quickly grabbed the book when his movement stopped.

"Ha! I have it! I win!" She smirked down at the still-not-moving Ron.

"Er... yeah. You do. Erm...' Hermione then realized the position they were in. She was almost sitting fully in his lap. Her nightie had ridden up more than it had when she had crossed her legs earlier. She blushed a pink that matched her pajamas and moved off of his lap. There was an uncomfortable and stifling silence. Then something occurred to Hermione.

"So... what were you and Harry reading earlier anyway?" Ron blushed several shades darker than he had before, if that was possible. He was still embarrassed from the little incident that had just occurred, and now mentioning the magazine.

"Ugh. I don't want to think about it. I'll just say we saw some things that are disturbing on so many levels." Hermione giggled.

"Okay, whatever you say." She smiled and looked over at Ron, glad that the uncomfortable moment had passed. They just stared into each other's eyes, entranced. Both were sleepy and sort of out of it, but this was real. This was nice... refreshing. There was something electric flowing between them; something magnetic. Both of them moved slightly closer together. Their eyes were slowly slipping closed. They were a little closer. Hermione could feel small puffs of air as Ron exhaled, and it made her lips tingle. There was the faintest brush of lips, and then there was chaos.

MEEEEOOOOOOOW! Hermione's eyes snapped open and she saw a fluff of ginger rush past her face and latch onto Ron's. He was trying to keep calm and quiet, but it wasn't working. Having a cat latched very painfully onto your face wasn't daisies and roses. Hermione could hear soft whimpering from underneath Crookshank's furry body, and she felt horrible about it.

"Bad Crookshanks! Bad! No! Get off of him!" Miraculously, her cat obeyed. But he didn't leave without a playful little bat at Ron's ear. Obviously his mischief had been managed.

"Argh! That damn cat! He's going to be the death of me someday!" Ron was bright red, whether from anger or embarrassment, she couldn't tell. Maybe both. But her guess was anger at the moment, especially considering the way he was glaring at Crookshanks. If looks could kill...

"Hmm, Hermione? What was that?" Hermione looked at the bed from where Ginny's voice had come, frightened. Ginny groggily sat up.

"N-nothing, Ginny. Just go back to sleep now," she said, gesturing behind her back for Ron to be quiet. There were two matching sets of scratches on either cheek bleeding, and frankly, he was being a big baby about it.

"Okay, Hermione." She laid back down and a few seconds later, her soft (almost cute, mostly obnoxious) snoring could be heard. They were safe.

"Come on, Ron. I'm sure your mum has some ointment in the loo that will make it better." She led him to her and Ginny's bathroom and opened the cabinets. She was trying to make small talk with Ron. She was a bit embarrassed about the near kiss. It wasn't often you went and kissed your best friend in a not-so-platonic way. But when you did it was special and very nice.

"You have an overprotective cat."

"Why, thank you! I'll tell Crookshanks that next time I see him!" She rolled her eyes. She was still a little mad at her pet. He had spoiled something that could have been perfect.

After a few minutes of rummaging around, she found it. Willy's Wizarding Ointment for All Not-so-fun Occasions, the bottle read. She crooked her finger at Ron, telling him without words to come over.

He moved closer, eyeing the tub or goop with distrust. She smoothed the ointment over onto his scratches with care. After a few seconds all of the bloody little gashes disappeared.

"Yuck! That stuff smells horrid!" She gave him a look as she put the ointment back into the cabinet.

"Well, at least you are all better now." Then, Ron's mood changed. He was pouting. Very badly.

"But it still hurts, 'Mione," he whined. He tried to pout again. Hermione knew better than to give in to whatever he was trying to get.

"Ron, your pouty, pathetic look has never worked on me before, so what makes you think that it will work now?" He just ignored her and tried to pout more. After a few minutes of looking ridiculous, he gave up.

"Maybe a kiss will make me all-the-way better." Ah...a new tactic. Give her an irresistible offer.

"Maybe." Hermione was blushing slightly.

"Oh, I'm sure that it will." He smiled at her. She decided at that moment that there was nothing to lose. It wasn't like they hadn't kissed in the living room.

She stood on her tip toes and brushed her lips a little awkwardly over his. Again. And again. Of course Ron responded eagerly. Hermione's arms snaked around Ron's neck, and his arms draped around her waist. This kiss kept getting better and better as it went along. After a few more minutes of kissing Ron, Hermione slowed it down a bit and stepped back. She smiled up at Ron with swollen lips. He blushed, back to his shy self.

"You know I was just kidding about the whole kissing thing, right?" He flushed a deep red. Hermione sighed to herself. What a way to ruin the moment. But she looked at him and instantly forgave him.

"Oh. I wasn't." She gave him a smile, and suddenly she didn't feel like she had to be shy around him anymore.

"Maybe we can have a real one now?"

====0====

Needless to say, when Ron went to sleep that night, visions of Professor Trelawney's suggestive poses were very, very far from his mind. Actually, visions of Hermione in her adorable little nightie were dancing through his head.

Unfortunately for Ron, visions of his Professor weren't far at all from Harry's dreams.

"Mmmm...Professor." Ron hit Harry pretty soundly on whatever body part was closest.

"Mate, that is disgusting!"

====0====

Reviews are good soul food...and they make me happy.

Referring to the author's note above, this story made me giggle, too. I also have no idea why on that one. I don't USUALLY giggle. Maybe it was because I was on a caffeine buzz...Dr. Pepper at 1 in the morning is not a good idea.

If I sound crazy, it's because its 3 am in the morning, and I'm on my weird schedule where I sleep during a greater part of the day and stay up all night. It happens when I don't have school for a long time.

I'm out!