I'd noticed a lot of Fairy Tale K/B's around, people doing parodies of Cinderella, Beauty and Beast, etc… So I decided it was high time I try a hand at a K/B Fairy Tale. For my fic, I choose to Parody the Frog Prince. I always loved Fairy Tales, watch out for spoofs!
In which a birth is celebrated, and the golden ball is introduced.
Once upon time, in a distant and inconsequential land, an equally distant and inconsequential (albeit, charming) kingdom had just entered its Golden Age. The beautiful, intelligent, and all around congenial Queen and her handsome, strong-chinned, moralistic King had just been blessed with a daughter after several years of failed conceptions. Of course, this was obviously a time for celebration, for their daughter had been borne the very same day the grand viziers had decided the Golden Age of their kingdom had begun, and this – of course – was extremely rare.
A grand ball was held to commemorate the occasions of both the birth of the princess - heir to the throne, and the kingdom entering its new age. Twelve fairies, each from a very distant and remote, yet equally exotic kingdoms or queendoms had been invited to the festivities, in hopes that they would bless the new princess with a gift. However, the fairies, having never been born on the very day of the beginning of a Golden Age for anything- were extremely jealous of the child and declined to show at the ball.
"Goodness," began the Blue fairy, snootily, "The child has already been born on the first day of the kingdom's Golden Age, to two very good looking and intelligent parents, who are also extremely popular at parties. Isn't that good fortune enough? Why would she need any further blessings?" The rest of fairies (Pink, Green, Yellow, Red, Purple, Magenta, Viridian, Crimson, Canary, Ultra-Violet, and Cornflower), all nodded their heads and shook their wands in agreement.
Obviously, the absence of the fairies was a cause of great concern to the King and Queen of the wonderful kingdom, which had just entered it's Golden Age. After all, without the benevolent fairies, who on earth would give their daughter Marvelous, Magical gifts? And although they were assured again and again by guests, friends, and family that their daughter was the very picture of perfection already, what with being born on the same day the kingdom's Golden Age had started and all, the extremely aesthetic parents began to worry. Without at least one Marvelous, Magical gift, how on earth would their little girl ever be a proper princess? After all, the neighboring kingdoms princess had been blessed by a fairy (that poor King could only scrounge enough tax money from his overworked, starving citizens to pay for one), and had been the recipient of the blessing for Good Math Skills, which everyone agreed would come to be terribly useful in the future. Indeed, it seemed that every princess (and first-born son) in every other kingdom had been blessed by at least one fairy. Some of the lesser families had only been able to spare enough for a Magnificent, Magical gift, which was different from a Marvelous, Magical gift because instead of being an ability, or some kind of physical perfection, it was usually something substantial – like a sword that would make the bearer invincible, or a purse that never ran out of money. The only problem with this species of gift however, was that it tended to get lost or stolen by some evil enemy of whoever it belonged to and – in the hands of an idiot, usually did more harm than good in the end.
As the night and party drew to it's inevitable close, however, the King and Queen decided that they would settle quite willingly with a Magnificent, Magical gift for their daughter, since it looked that she would be receiving no Marvelous, Magical ones. And luckily, at the very moment they had come to this decision, a stringy little man in red stockings, long toed shoes, blue velvet vest, and pointed yellow hat stepped up to the throne. Bowing so low that his long white beard touched the floor, and taking off his hat, the little man squeaked out in a reedy voice: "Good evening, your majesties!"
The King and Queen exchanged looks, their brows furrowing.
"I don't believe we invited you, Rumplestiltzkin." The Queen managed to say at last, eyeing the small mass of mismatched colors disdainfully.
"No," the King agreed, tapping his scepter impatiently, "we didn't." the little man straightened up, grinning gleefully.
"Oh, of course you didn't! But I was told by the guards that since you didn't have an evil fairy to crash your party, that I might be allowed to do so."
Again, the King and Queen exchanged a look, though this time it was a mournful one.
"Ah," sighed the queen, "the guards were right! We not only have failed to procure any benevolent fairies; we don't have any malevolent ones either! Oh, our poor daughter! No Marvelous, Magical gifts, and now we have failed to provide her even a Decent, Dignified curse! How awful!" The King put a consoling arm around his Queen, and they both looked down upon their tiny, blue-haired daughter.
Rumplestiltzkin, to give the monarchs a moment to pull themselves together, wandered over to the new princess's royal bassinet, and peered curiously over the edge. Inside was a lovely baby, with thick, light blue hair, and an adorable baby smile. She stared up the funny looking man with bright, inquisitive bubblegum colored eyes. She let a gurgly laugh and reached for him, Rumplestiltzkin couldn't control the genuine smile that spread across his features.
Those silly parents of yours, he thought, they don't even realize that you need no Marvelous, Magical gift to make you whole, nor a Magnificent, Magical one either. But, as tradition stands… With a sigh he turned around, plastering a smile to his face once more as he approached the grieving parents.
After a moment of throat clearing, he managed to catch the Kings attention.
"Yes, what is it?" He asked distractedly. Rumplestiltzkin bristled at the dismissive tone, and almost changed his mind, but the gurgly laugh from the bassinet calmed him down and he decided to stick with his plan. He made another comical, sweeping bow.
"Your majesties! I wish to present the new princess with a gift!"
The Queen waved her hand royally. "We have enough gifts for the princess, thank you." And it was true. Trying to appease the wonderful kingdom which had just entered its Golden Age (and of course, the princess with the well-timed birthday), many other kingdoms and queendoms had sent lavish gifts. None of course had been Magnificently Magical, but then, they could hardly be blamed for that oversight when everyone had expected twelve fairies to show up.
Again, Rumplestiltzkin had push his anger down. "Ah, but this one is… special, your highness." And from out of his coat pocket, the little man produced a curious little golden… something. It was a perfect sphere, about the size of a cue ball (though of course, no one knew that this was the exact size, since no one in this particular kingdom had ever heard of billiards). The King and Queen leaned forward in their seats to study it.
"What… Is it?" Asked the King, tentatively reaching out a hand.
"Is it a Magnificent, Magical gift?" Asked the Queen eagerly, leaning forward even more.
"It's a golden ball," said Rumplestiltzkin, "And it's not Magnificently Magical… It's more like… Run of the mill magical."
The King and Queen gasped in outrage.
"What?!" The King bellowed, "You expect us to accept a common magical gift? That is for paupers!"
Rumplestiltzkin rolled his eyes. "Excuse me, your majesty, but… Have you gotten a better offer?"
The two monarchs stared at the tiny man for a moment, then huddled together, whispering franticly.
"What do we do? Should we take it?" The Queen asked her husband worriedly. They both knew that Rumplestiltzkin was a mischievous fellow, and neither was sure if the gift was some sort of trick. The King looked back to the colorful man, who was scratching his nose quietly.
"What… Does that thing do?"
"This," Rumplestiltzkin brandished the gold ball, "will lead its owner to true happiness… Er, eventually."
The King and Queen went back to their frenzied whispering. This was probably their only chance at securing their daughter any kind of magical gift at all, and while it was no Good Math Skills blessing, it wasn't something to be scorned either. After all, besides good math skills, what parent wouldn't want their child to be happy? They decided to be relieved at this sudden windfall.
The Co-rulers faced the miniature man once more; he stood there patiently.
"We accept," said the Queen grandly, reaching out to take the golden ball. Rumplestiltzkin sidled away skillfully, out of her reach.
"What… What is the meaning of this?!" She asked, offended.
"I will present it to the child, myself!" He announced, grinning. Before the king and Queen could say a word, he had appeared beside the princess's bassinet once more, and was peering over the edge. Immediatly as she saw him, the baby let out a happy gurgle and reached for him again. Rumplestiltzkin carefully reached down and placed the completely ordinary golden ball beside her, watching in amusement as she turned and prodded it curiously.
"There now." He whispered to her. "Your parents may cease their worrying, you have a proper magical gift. May it truly lead you to happiness, as I told your parents it would. Live long, princess, do not lose your good humor." There was a flash of light, a burst of acrid blue smoke that left everyone sneezing, and Ruplestiltzkin was gone.
"Well," said the King, blowing his handsome Roman nose in a handsome, embroidered handkerchief, "We should have expected something like that, you know he has a flare for the dramatic."
"Yes," Agreed the Queen, bending over to scoop up their child. "But at least our daughter has a fairly decent magical gift now. We won't have to worry about her being ostracized by her blessed peers."
The giant clock in the Main Hall struck, at last, Midnight – which, according to that ancient and international rule, meant the end of the party. The King and Queen stood up to say farewell to their guests.
"Thank you all for coming! We know you all enjoyed yourselves at this spectacular ball, and we now close the evening of this, our kingdoms celebration of its Golden Age, and the birth of our daughter, the princess Botan.
Now I will tell you briefly, of how princess Botan's childhood passed. She was a good girl, who made her Mother and Father proud in all she did, despite their original fear that something would end up wrong with her because she had received no blessing. But to their delight, under their watchful eyes she grew slowly into a beautiful young woman, who had also inherited her parent's intelligence and popularity. What more could they have wanted? The only thing that ever slightly worried them, was their daughters seemingly incapability to separate herself from her golden ball. Her parents had never told her of its miraculous ability, but she held it in her own high regard. It went with her everywhere, indeed, she fretted for it if it ever went out of her sight. This was excusable for a very young girl, but when the habit continued into Botan's late childhood and early teens, her mother approached her. After all, surely it could work its magic just as well from a shelf in a closet than from in the princess's hand or pocket.
"Really dear, isn't it time you put that silly plaything aside? After all, your coming to an age now where it is unseemly to play with toys –" But Botan made such a fuss that the subject was quickly dropped and she was allowed to continue to carry it with her.
When the Princess Botan turned seventeen, it appeared the golden ball decided for itself that it was ready to work whatever magic it had – real or imaginary – for it's mistress.
AN: Ah, how was that for a teaser? Despite the spoofiness and downright silliness of this first chapter, the following ones won't be nearly this light. Don't worry those of you who like drama, there will be definite drama and romance in this fic!
Things you may look forward to:
1) Kurama's appearance in the next chapter as the fox (I doubt this surprises you)
2) Hiei as a fairy. (Hah hah hah hah!)
3) Romance (Duh)
4) Comedy (Duh)
5) Fairy Tale Spoofs (Duh)
This fic will be updated sporadically, as I want to finish Thief! and Foxgloves before I move seriously onto anything else. Those are both nearly done though, so I promise you won't have to wait TOO long. Also, I have my prize fic for you all still to look forward to!
Hope you enjoyed it guys, let me know what you think!