Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer… ((borrows LawyerYoukai Seal from LilacRose, empowers it more with 2 years worth of LawSchool Mojo and slaps it on with a flourish)) I do not own, rent, buy, sublease, or timeshare Inuyasha and co…as it turns out, some of his memories I might very well have taken right out of my a$% but we shall not get into that.

Once Upon A Solstice

By Emania

"Don't you remember anything about your childhood?"

Inuyasha blinked away the sudden hurt he knew she'd see and glared at her to keep himself from showing the pain. "Keh!" he exclaimed, looking away to show his annoyance. "What kind of question is that, wench?"

"A simple one," Kagome spoke softly, knowing the Inuyasha-Avoidance-Dance all too well. "Why can't you answer?" she insisted. "Either you remember something or you don't."

"I…" Inuyasha started, watching entranced as the snowflakes fell around Shippou chasing Kirara in the distance. He watched as Kirara took Shippou by the scruff of the neck in her gentle jaws and flipped him so he flew in the air and for a moment…one shining moment as he was blinded by the setting winter sun, he thought he saw shining silver hair as the boy twirled and the laughter was younger, giggles even. He blinked the snowflakes out of his eyes and sighed. "…don't remember…" he whispered, his voice much lower than he had intended.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he was shocked by the warmth of Kagome's arms around his chest as she hugged him from behind. "It's okay," she whispered against his back. "We'll make new ones…"

Inuyasha closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth of the arms around him, but shook his head, steeping forward out of Kagome's graps, knowing she wouldn't really hold on to him. "Feh," he scoffed, with only half of his usual vehemence. "We break at dawn," he threw over his shoulder as he walked off in the direction of the thick copse of trees.

Inuyasha leaned against the cold trunk of the tree and dug his arms into the sleeves of his haori. He hadn't really lied…he didn't remember his childhood…not really…he never remembered more than glimpses of things…that time with the No Face Woman was the most he remembered of his mother, the clearest he ever saw her face…

He closed his eyes against the sensation of burning. Except during winter…the one memory he remembered the most of…the one memory he sometimes saw in his dreams, but could never remember completely when he awoke, was of winter…

Dancing bears, painted wings / Things I almost remember / And a song someone sings / Once upon a December…

He remembered a toy…a toy that spun…he remembered being thrilled by the movement, the illusion that the animals carved out of the painted wood actually danced and flew…bears and horses with wings…

He shook his head and frowned. 'What stupidity is that?' he thought. 'Horses with wings?'

"What is it, papa? Can horses really fly?"

He had been a fool child…stupid for believing tales and…

'Why can't I remember my father's answer?' he wondered. 'Had he told me that they did exist?' he scoffed. 'Maybe he told me to stop being stupid…but…but…' he tightened his eyes. 'I almost remember his graceful hands carving the figures, showing me how to make it move…'

He opened his eyes as he caught Kagome's voice on the wind…she was singing Shippou a silly song, full of pointless things but her voice…

He closed his eyes again, sighing softly as he leaned his head back and listened to her voice…

'I remember a melody…' he hummed it softly under his breath, but just that part of the melody…that part…'A song someone sings…' He looked out into the soft looking snow starting to cover the ground and realized, in the deepening twilight, if he squinted his eyes just so he could almost see a graceful woman dancing so beautifully in the snow with a little boy in her arms…his long silver hair mingling with her black as they swayed…

He was suddenly at the foot of the tree, looking out into the snow where the figure of his mother danced with a happy child who was smiling and laughing in his mother's arms…'Mamma…' he thought, but he blinked and she was gone. He made a fist and punched the tree behind him. 'Why can't I remember you?' he questioned. 'Why can I remember the stuff that brought me pain, but not the happy moments, why?!' he demanded.

Someone holds me safe and warm / Horses prance through a silver storm / Figures dancing gracefully / Across my memory

The snow that had gathered on the tree fell and as it settled, Inuyasha turned, thinking he heard the tinkling of a bell…like the bells…in the distance, he saw a sleigh with a team of 4 white horses jogging through the snow…

He had been scared then, the first time riding in a sleigh, but his mother had held him safe and warm and the feel of the cold wind bracing his cheeks, pulling his hair back, the speed and the freedom of it…there were no taunting voices here, there was nobody but his mother and him and the tinkling of the bells mirroring the canter of his heart…

"One day, I'll be faster than the horses, mamma…"

He closed his eyes and the melody came into his mind again, only this time, it was more than just someone humming…he could almost hear the melody played by musicians…and…

Dancers…

He smiled as he remembered the pride he felt at the figure of his mother and father gliding gracefully across the dance floor of the great ballroom…

Far away, long ago / Glowing dim as an ember / Things my heart used to know / Once upon a December

The Great Ballroom…the roaring fireplace keeping out the chill, the one time more children came to his home, some of them like him…no one dared taunt the youngest son of the Western Lord during the…Solstice Ball…when the Demon Lord was home and those few nobles humans were graced with audience in the Demon Lord's home…The Winter Solstice…the time of joining between light and dark…the darkest night of the year but also the true begging of summer…

So faraway…he remembered the Winter Solstice Balls of Long ago…

Vaguely, he wondered if Sesshoumaru still held them, but he didn't think he did…

Fifty years since he had been sealed…10 since his mother died…6 since he'd been in the Western Court…

No wonder he didn't remember…

But the memories were there…glowing dim like an ember…

There were things his heart used to know…all he had to do was stoke the fire a bit and he could remember…

Someone holds me safe and warm / Horses prance through a silver storm / Figures dancing gracefully / Across my memory

He smiled sadly at the thought as he closed his eyes and remembered first the warmth of Kagome's arms around him and then of his mother the way she held him in her special hold so that he was in the cradle of her arms…

Far away, long ago / Glowing dim as an ember / Things my heart used to know / Things it yearns to remember

He blinked through the snow falling and felt something akin to warmth just at the sight of the fire burning bright out through the window of the abandoned hut they'd found for the night…like a light waiting for him to come home…

Kagome looked up at his approach and grinned, relieved that he had showed up before true night. "I put Shippou to bed and Miroku and Sango went to sleep right away since they'll…" she trailed off he approached her silently, sitting on his haunches right in front of her…

"I don't remember much," he told her without preamble. "But I want to remember…I can remember small bits…but I want to remember my mother…" Kagome smiled at him and he took her hand in his. "Will you…" he whispered, looking at their hands rather than at her smile. "Will you help me?" he looked up at her. "Help me remember?"

And a song someone sings…

Kagome enfolded his hand in both of hers and smiled brilliantly. "With all of my heart," she answered. She looked at him. "So…what do you remember?"

Dancing bears, painted wings…

He thought for a moment, then, leaning slightly into her warmth…

"What is it, papa? Can horses really fly?"

"Unicorns…" he whispered, finally remembering his father's answer of long ago. He looked up into her bright, open eyes. And remembered what it felt like to be home. "I remember unicorns…" he answered.

A/N: Wow…this is a doozie…I don't even really know what this is…I just got back from class, starting listening to a random selection of songs in my computer and Once Upon A December from Anastasia came on…the one they sing in the movie, not the one on the soundtrack from Aaliyah and then this came out. I mean, literally, in no time.

Now, I know what you're going to say…Japanese people in the Sengoku Jidai probably don't know about Unicorns…Granted…but…it fit in what Puck hit me with, so…((shrug)) sue me.

And, YES, I know that there's probably been tons of other information out there about how old Inuyasha actually was when his mother died (I think the third movie says something about that but I haven't seen it and I have refused to read spoilers cause I don't want it to be spoiled for me) and about when his father died and all that of the actual story arc that would shoot all Inuyasha's memories in here straight to hell, but ((shrug)) sue me. Call it poetic license…this was…well, it just had to come out, and I didn't want to stop the flow by doing any research as to what he might actually have seen…

Uh…oh, yeah, and probably the whole way he gets the memories is probably a little too "magic surrealism" for some of you, but again…points to Puck blame him…not me…HIM

But, in any case, please review…the last one shot I put up got like 2 reviews and, I gotta say…that's kinda harsh, people, don't you think? I mean, come on! I must admit, that kinda disappointed me…((tries not to cry)) Please, please, please lemme know what you think?! ((sighs)) Yes, I'm back to begging now… Even if it's a flame…so long as it's with constructive criticism, I can take it…

So…um…yeah…click the nice button…you know you want to…