[I know, I know...I should be working on Who Are You, but I want to write this.

KURAMA: Darn right you should be working on the other story. Now I have to stay here twice as long.


[Disclaimer: Maybe it's a good thing I don't own Teen Titans...]

[Dedication: I dedicate this story to my friend Peyton, who has the firm belief that Beast Boy is the greatest character in all Creation. I intend to prove this to all Raven fans with his role here.]

Raven walked quietly through the tower as the rain poured down outside. Lightning flashed out the giant windows to her right as she entered the living room. The thunder's resounding roar echoed through the otherwise silent and dark building.

It wasn't until she entered the safety of her room and closed the door behind her did she bring her arms out from under the cloak, where one hand concealed a box of tissues and the other held a kitchen knife.

She sat down on her bed and listened to the thunder for a minute or two. It was dark in her room, like the rest of the tower, and she could barely see what she was doing as she pulled back the left sleeve of her leotard.

Raven felt a tear slide down her cheek as the knife cut her skin, though she felt no pain. Every time she cut, she cried. (Nothing blew up, which was a miracle in its own right.) But she felt no pain. At least—not from the cut. There were about twenty cuts on her left arm, all lined up, nearly perfectly parallel, above her elbow.

The new cut was fairly deep, like the others. She took a tissue and pressed it to the wound to stop the blood from staining her sheets if it fell there. She wiped her eyes and listened to the rain and thunder.

Every time she cut herself, Raven asked herself the same thing: "Why do I cut?" And every time, the answer was the same: "Because I can't stand it." Can't stand what, you ask?


Sometimes, when they went up against a really tough villain, one of them would get hurt. Sometimes, the one to get hurt was Beast Boy. And then Raven would nearly worry herself to death if it was serious. She loved Beast Boy, no doubt about that...but she also knew all too well that if you love someone without knowing whether or not they love you back can be fucking torture.

But that wasn't all. Trigon had been bothering her nearly every day for as long as she could remember, but now it was considerably worse. He seemed to be able to sense when she was weak, and he seemed determined to defeat his daughter when she was at her weakest.

Raven stood up, cleaning the knife with the tissue—she had to return it to the kitchen so nobody would miss it in the morning. She decided to keep the tissues just because.



"Raven, what are you doing up?" asked a groggy Beast Boy from a little ways down the hall. Raven nearly had a heart attack—she had been certain there was no one there a moment ago.

"I should ask that of you."

"Bathroom," he said, becoming more awake. "So what are you doing? Rain keep you up?" Raven nodded.

"Go back to sleep, Beast Boy. I'm going to take a walk around the tower before I go back to bed." She blinked.

"Can I come with you? I don't think I'll be able to sleep until I get a snack." Raven shrugged.

"Go ahead."



They walked in silence through most of the tower, making their way towards the kitchen. Raven wondered if she could inadvertently put the knife back into the drawer without her green companion noticing or if she should simply put it on the counter and blame it on Cyborg in the morning—

"Huh?" she asked. They had ended up in the kitchen without her noticing.

"I said, do you want a cookie?"

"I thought you were a vegetarian."

"Oatmeal cookies."

"Oh. Sure, I guess." She reached out her hand to accept the cookie, but her cloak slipped from her arm.

"What's that?" asked Beast Boy. Raven jerked her hand back, dropping the cookie.

"It's nothing." Dammit, he had seen the blood that had soaked into her leotard sleeve...what now?

"Let me see your arm."


"Let me see your arm, Raven." His voice was firmer.


"Just let me see your arm." He was pleading now. Slowly, Raven cast her eyes to her sleeve. "Don't tell anyone," she said. She pulled it back hesitantly to reveal the bloody cut and the scabbed-over ones. Beast boy took her hand in his and ran his fingers over the scars and cuts. His green eyes met her purple ones and he uttered one word.


[A/N: Woo...Raven's a little close to the edge, yes? I'm proud of myself for not cutting in about a month yet, and I figure writing about cutting is better than actually doing it. So. To those of you who read my other stories as I turn them out, I'm sorry. I have to write this first. I'm getting a hot lead on it right now, and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

KURAMA: I think we know that much already.

Shut up. Want an oatmeal cookie?

KURAMA: Is that the one that was on the floor?

Of course not.

KURAMA: Good. ::takes cookie::

It was the one I found in Beast Boy's room.