Title: The Emergency

Author: Hawk Clowd

Disclaimer: so far as I know, I own nothing.  Gravitation belongs to Maki Murakami and I would not take it away from her for anything in the world.  I just like to play. 

Blood Type: something along the lines of fruit juice.

Warnings: very few.  Shonen ai, obviously, and some random scenes.

Archived: all of the usual places.

Author's Notes: I write a lot of stories involving someone having to relieve their bladders very, very quickly and going to extreme measures to do so.  I wonder if I should worry about that or if it's a perfectly normal thing for me to be doing...  In any case, this story sucks and I know that it does, but if I don't post it, there's no chance that I'll ever get any suggestions or advice, and then I'll never get better!  Oh, woe is me!


"Yuki, aren't you done yet?" Shuichi asked in a rather petulant, whiny tone of voice.  The singer was outside the bathroom door, trying his best not to start performing the little move his mother used to call 'the wee-wee dance'.  He had returned to the apartment almost a full hour ago, after having a soda-guzzling contest with Hiro and K, and had been waiting in the hall ever since.  He had won the contest, but now his bladder was about to pop.  Yuki had been in the bathroom since before Shuichi had gotten home, and now Shuichi desperately needed to use the toilet.  He had tried everything from promises of kinky sex to threats of computer-related sabotage.  When that hadn't worked, he'd continued banging his fists against the door and yelling at the writer to get the hell out of the bathroom before Shuichi exploded all over the hallway.  And still, Yuki would not get out of the bathroom.  What was the man doing, writing a novel?

Shuichi's heart sank (and his bladder tightened painfully) as he realized that, in Yuki's case, such a thing was not entirely out of the question.

"I've really got to go, Yuki!  This is an emergency situation!" Shuichi cried out for what was probably the thousandth time.  "Will you please hurry up?"

His only answer was the sound of the shower being turned on.  Shuichi groaned.  The running water was definitely not doing him any good, although it was a bit comforting knowing that Yuki was still alive, at least.  Shuichi shifted uncomfortably, trying to get his mind off of his bladder.  Puppies.  Kittens.  Birds.  Fish.  Water.  Rivers.  Lakes.  Babbling brooks.  Waterfalls.  Drip.  Soda.  Drip.  Drip.  Water closets.  Toilets.  Dri--

Fuck, he really was going to explode.

Giving up, Shuichi hitched up his pants, hoping they would add some sort of relief (it didn't work).  "Screw you, Yuki!" he yelled, bolting from the apartment at break-neck speed and racing down the stairs to the apartment just below the writer's.  He knocked frantically at the door until a confused looking teenage girl answered.


"Hi I'm Shindou Shuichi it's nice to meet you may I use your bathroom it's an emergency okay thanks," Shuichi said, pushing past the girl and into the hallway, headed to where he knew the bathroom would be.  All the penthouse apartments were set up the same in this building, so it didn't take a lot of searching.  It did take a great, great effort on his part not to lose control of his bladder before he reached the bathroom, however, and an even greater effort not to wet himself as he struggled with his tight shorts.

A short while later, Shuichi emerged from the strange bathroom, relieved and... less full, only to be met by three pairs of ogling eyes.  Eyes that belonged to three star-struck teenage girls, all staring at him with curious expressions on their faces.  He instinctively shrank away from them.

"Um...  Thanks for letting me use your bathroom.  I really really appreciate that," Shuichi said finally.

One of the girls leaned in to whisper to another girl--the one who had answered the door in the first place.  "You didn't tell us that he lived in your building!"

"I didn't know," the door-opening girl, who was apparently also the hostess, hissed back.  "Maybe he's just visiting somebody?"

"Well don't just stand there," the third girl whispered frantically.  "Do something!"

"Like what?"

Shuichi stared at the girls for a moment.  "Uh, I probably didn't introduce myself properly...  I'm Shindou Shuichi.  I live..." he realized that giving these girls a location of any sort would be a bad idea "...around.  Who are you lovely ladies?"

The three girls tittered and practically melted all over themselves with pleasure, which was a little bit gross.  It was at times like these when Shuichi wished he had Yuki's charm and charisma (even if the bastard locked himself in the bathroom for hours on end); Yuki would have known exactly what to tell these girls.  He had a way with women, something that Shuichi had never before admired in him.

"I'm Renli," the door-girl answered eventually, "and these are my friends, Kagami and Suki...  We were having a slumber party, and we were watching you on TV just a few seconds ago and we were super shocked when you knocked on our door!"

Shuichi smiled nervously.  Fan girls.  Fantastic.  "I bet so!  One time, I was listening to the radio and there was a knock on the door and it was Sakuma Ryuichi!  I was pretty shocked then, and I'd actually met him before."

"What radio station was it?" one of the girls--Suki?--demanded.  "If Shindou-sama listens to that station, is has to be a good one!"

"Uh..."  Shuichi gave them a sheepish grin.  "I don't know...  It was Yuki's radio, and he doesn't like it when I mess up the buttons on there, so..."

The girls let out a joyous scream.  "Yuki Eiri," Renli sighed.  "He's dreeeaaamy..."

Kagami surged forward and latched onto Shuichi's arm, practically pushing him back into the bathroom.  "Are you and Yuki-sama really lovers?" she asked.  "I know that's what he said on the news, and you didn't argue, but I want to hear it straight from the source!"

"Uh, yeah, I guess we are..."

"You guess?"  Kagami frowned.  "Either you are or you aren't!  Are you two lovers?"

"Yes," Shuichi answered quickly.  "Yes, we are!"

Suki giggled, attaching herself to Shuichi's other arm.  "What's he like in bed?"

Shuichi flushed a bright red.  "Uh..."

Renli tilted her head to look at him.  "You have slept with him, right?"

If it was possible, Shuichi's blush deepened.  "I...  Um..."

"Are you just into guys, or do you like girls, too?" one of the girls--Kagami, Shuichi guessed--asked.

"Both," he said, relieved that they were asking at least one question that he could answer without feeling like a total moron.

The girls squealed.  "Marry me!" they all cried in unison.

Shuichi gaped.  "But I...  Uh...  I..."

"I'm sorry, ladies, but he's taken," Yuki interrupted smoothly as he stepped into the room.  "I hope you don't mind, but the door was unlocked, so I let myself in."  He gently pried the girls away from Shuichi.  "Now, Shindou-san and I have other business to attend to, so I'm going to have to steal him away from you for a while.  He lives right across town, though, so you can visit him any time you'd like."

Shuichi stared at Yuki.  "But--"

"Hush, Shu-chan," Yuki said sweetly.  If Shuichi hadn't known better, he probably have collapsed into the writer's arms, lighter than air and happy as could be.  As it was, he saw the steel behind Yuki's eyes and knew that he was really going to get a talking-to later on.  "Say goodbye to your friends; it's time to go."

"Bye," Shuichi said weakly, waving at the girls.  They waved back and followed the pair to the door as Yuki all but dragged Shuichi away.

Once they were out of sight, in the stairwell, Yuki let Shuichi go.

"Thanks for saving me," Shuichi murmured.

Yuki grunted in reply.

"How'd you know where I was?"

The writer frowned.  "It wasn't hard.  I just followed the sound of your blathering.  Can't you keep yourself out of trouble for ten minutes while you're out of the apartment?  Jeez.  I leave you alone for barely an hour and you get kidnapped by a bunch of crazed psycho fans.  What's wrong with you?"

"I had to pee!"

"So what?  We have a washroom in the apartment."

Shuichi fumed.  "You were in there!  You were in there even when I pounded on the doors and told you that I really really really really really had to go!"

"We have more than one washroom, you idiot!"

The singer stopped dead.  "We do?"

Yuki just rolled his eyes and continued walking towards the apartment.

---the end (finally)--