This is my first fanfiction. As I am not a native speaker I want to thank an English friend of mine who helped me with the language. I am looking forward to getting any constructive criticism.

I do not own the characters - I just borrowed them and some of their lines.

Faramir´s Farewell

Father, I am probably dying even as you read these lines so I take this last opportunity to say what until now has been unspeakable. I always loved you and deep in my heart I felt that you returned my feelings, although you were not be able to show me affection. Gradually, my self-confidence has been broken down with every word of contempt you uttered. I could never fulfil your expectations, how ever hard I tried. My attempts to do so meant nothing to you. Nor did any of my achievements. When I succeeded in fulfilling any task you only told me about my failures in another.

Father, you dealt the final blow some minutes ago, when you wished that I was dead instead of my brother. I cannot bring back Boromir, whom I loved more than I can express. But I can and will abandon you, not with cheer, but with acceptance, for I can stand your scorn and mental torture no longer. May you find peace soon, when you will have buried your second son - second born and second best.

We have witnessed many men suffering a violent death, you and I. Can you imagine what it is like when you are dying step by step even before the end is at hand; to experience the slow shattering of your spirit and soul whilst being condemned to live in a healthy body? I cannot count how many times I lay in bed crying silent tears in the dark and wishing not to wake up the following morning. How many times did I stand on top of the high wall of the sixth level, tempted to make that final plunge? You don´t have the slightest notion that I felt this way, and if you had, how much, or how little would you have cared? It was only my sense of duty to my beloved country which prevented me from undertaking the very last step. Now I am looking forward to passing from this world with your blessing – the Captain of Gondor is leaving for his final journey.

„If I should return, think better of me, father."

„That will depend on the manner of your return."

I hope that my return will please you, father. This may be the only time you will be content with me. Wish that my death will be merciful and swift, for I have suffered enough in my lifetime.