Disclaimer: Nope, they're not mine. You can't blame a girl for hoping, though.
A/N: Queen Vampyre Akasha requested something like this. So, this is for you, Akasha. Hope you like it - although it isn't probably as light and humorfilled as it'd be if you'd done it, it's how I like it. And yeah, it is and will always be cute and fluffy, no matter what happens.
And to those who planned to review saying, "If you want Lupin and Black together, write slash," I might remind that I've written slash, RL/SB and others, of all ratings. There.
To Be or Not to Be
The door to the boys' dorm slammed open, and Remus Lupin rushed inside. Sirius, who'd been lying on his bed, raised his eyes from the Quidditch magazine in front of him and greeted happily his boyfriend. It wasn't until then that he noticed the strange look on the smaller boy's face.
"What's wrong, Moony?" he asked, genuinely concerned. "Has something happened?"
"Sirius..." Remus said with a weird tone. "They've at last found a cure for Lycanthropy."
"What?" Sirius said a bit breathlessly. "Oh, Moony, that's wonderful!" He hugged his boyfriend tightly.
"There's only one thing," the smaller boy said, struggling to get away from his embrace. "One thing that you maybe don't like."
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, puzzled. "What possibly could disappoint me in your curing?"
"Just a tiny detail," Remus said. "Being the fact that curing me would require me turning into a girl."
Sirius just stared at him, his mouth opening and closing. He didn't seem to get a single word out of his mouth.
"It's how the thing works," Remus explained. "Lycanthropy is in our veins, our flesh - it is what we are. It can't be just cut away without somehow affecting us. But if a werewolf's body experiences a radical change, it'll burn the Lycanthropy away. It has been tested, Sirius, and it works. But there's just one thing - the change is permanent. If I accepted, I couldn't become a boy again."
Sirius still didn't say anything.
"Sirius?" Remus asked, a bit worriedly. "Sirius? Please, say something. They gave me a week to think it over, but I honestly don't know what to do. What do you think about it?"
"I - I don't know what to say," Sirius said slowly. "I mean - I love you, Moony, and I always will, no matter what. And since I am bi, I don't care if you're a boy or a girl."
"So it doesn't matter to you if I'm cured?" Remus asked, not sure how he should react.
"I never said so," Sirius said hastily. "I love you, Moony, and I want you to be happy. And I think you'd be much happier without your Lycanthropy. If that is what you want, go ahead."
"But I don't know," Remus complained. "I mean, there are quite a lot of differences between girls and boys. I wouldn't know how to live as a girl! I wouldn't know anything, honestly, it's all so damn confusing."
"I'm sure Lily could help you," Sirius said, smiling reassuringly. "But before it -" He got interrupted as the door flung open and James and Peter stormed inside, Sean Collins right on their heels.
"Oh, sorry!" James exclaimed, not looking the tiniest bit sorry, as he saw them two, Sirius's arms still around Remus. "Are we maybe interrupting something?"
"Definitely not," Sirius chuckled. "Did you hear already? Moony's going to be a girl!"
"WHAT?" the three other boys asked simultaneously.
"What did you just say, Padfoot?" James asked then again. "I surely misheard you or something. Could you please repeat?"
"Moony's going to be a girl," Sirius repeated obediently. "It's not entirely sure yet, but he's most probably going to be changed."
"What? Why?" Peter asked, announcing all the three boys' confusion.
"Well, because of my - condition," Remus said very carefully, eyeing warily Sean, who was yet to discover the truth about his Lycanthropy, "I've been offered a choice. I can either stay like I am, or get cured and turn into a girl."
"What condition?" Sean wondered. "Cured? Are you ill of some kind, Remus?"
Peter calmly drew his wand and pointed it at the tall, lanky brunette. "Obliviate," he murmured, and a flash of light hit the other boy.
"Um... What now?" Sean asked as he recovered of the spell, obviously lost. "What happened? Did you say something?"
"Nothing important," Remus said, trying to hide a sigh of relief. "I thought you were going to go to the library?"
"What? Oh, yes, right. To the library, indeed. How could I forget that?" Sean turned around. "Well, see you," he said, leaving the room. As he closed the door behind him, the four Marauders glanced at the ceiling and sighed simultaneously.
"You have to teach me that trick some day, Peter," Sirius said in awe. "He was completely lost!"
"And that's not because of you, I might add," Remus said, glaring at his sheepishly grinning boyfriend. "Honestly, can't you ever think before you act?"
"Are you sure you aren't a girl already?" James asked cheekily. "Because you sound a whole lot like Lily - Ouch!" he exclaimed as Remus's book hit his head. "Okay, okay, sorry! But what was that all about?"
"Well, the wizard scientists have seemingly noticed that changing the werewolf's gender can burn the Lycanthropy away," Remus explained them. "The only problem is, the change is permanent. So I'm rather lost about whether to do it or not."
"Of course you accept," James said right away. "Just think about it, Moony! You could get any job you want, could do anything you want, and no one would run after you waving Ministry registries! And you wouldn't have to transform, you could stay human all the time, and -"
"And you'd have PMS and menstruating and raging girl hormones," Peter finished. "What?" he asked as he noticed the three glares pointed at him. "It's true!"
"I guess Wormtail is right," Remus sighed. "I shouldn't make this decision too quickly. I have a week to think this over, and I want to have a talk with Lily first. But no more burst-outs," he added, glaring at Sirius. "At least not before I've at least decided to actually do it!"
"Why do you look at me?" Sirius asked, playing innocent. "I'd never do anything like that!"
"Maybe you should Obliviate him as well, Peter," James suggested. "At least we could be sure he isn't going to tell anyone."
"Hey, hey - you can't do that!" Sirius cried out. "He's my boyfriend after all! I have the right to know what's going on with him! And I'm definitely not going to walk in the corridor some day and notice that I have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend!
"What do you think, James?" Peter asked, grinning as he pointed his wand at Sirius. "Should I do it?"
"Whatever," James shrugged, replying the grin. "Maybe we should ask Moony." He glanced at the werewolf. "Moony? May we spell your lousy lover out of his mind?" he asked.
"Not right now," Remus said absent-mindedly. "Sirius knows that he won't get away without consequences if he tells someone. Don't you, Sirius?" The last question was accompanied by a sharp gaze, both targeted at the tall teen next to him.
"Something like that," Sirius admitted with a sheepish grin.
"Besides," added Peter, now digging through the contents of his trunk, "I don't think that anything could get Padfoot more out of his mind than he is already." Dodging a pillow with five years' skill, the small boy laughed at his friend's expression. Remus and James joined his laughter delightedly.
"Fine, be that way," Sirius said, and pouted. "Be against me, you all." Faking a sob, he continued, "I knew all along that you don't really care about me, Remus..."
"Oh, for the love of Godric, shut up at last," Remus sighed, then leant forward to meet Sirius's lips in a warm, tender kiss. James and Peter glanced at first at them, then at each other.
Then, knowing all too well what they'd witness if they didn't leave in time, they slipped out of the dormitory.