Chapter 2: Booyah!

A/N: Yay! So it is funny? Nice! Then I'll be able to make this chapter even funnier! Eh...as for the greatness crap i was talking to you about in the last chapter...that won't happen until later on when Link actually finds Ganondorf. Kay? Now on with the fic!

(Note: I luv Link so don't think that I'd ever bash him! I only do this for the funny.)

We last saw our idiot hero...eh...well...somewhere around here (takes out map of Hyrule field and points to random spot) or somewhere around there...(points to McDonalds), well it was somewhere around this place...eh...I give up...

"..and that's what happened, Malon." Link had just finshed his explanation of why he was laying down, unconcious on the fields of Hyrule to Malon.

"Uh...Link...you didn't say anything...all you said was "Well...and that's what happened, Malon." You didn't explain anything to me." Malon said.

"...What kind of fool do you take me for?" Link asked as he glared at Malon.

"A big one. Now what are you doing here?" Malon asked once more.

"Hm...well...Zelda--huh?" Link paused and looked around the field. "Uh...Malon...I think we should leave." Link said as he pushed her towards Lon Lon Ranch.

"Why, Link?" Malon asked as she noticed that the sky was turning grey.

"Well...I rather not talk about it." Link said as he started sweating with fear on his face.

Flashback...

Older Link and Zelda are in the Sacred Realm, with joyful looks on their faces.

"Yeah! Gan-man is SEALED baby! WHOOO!!!" Link said as he jumped for joy around the sealed up Ganondorf.

"Congratulations Link!" Zelda said as she took out a ciagrette and started smoking.

"Oh! Can I have some???" Link asked Zelda.

"Oh...uh...I don't have anymore..." Zelda said as she hid her pack of cigarettes behnd her back.

"Don't lie! I see them right behind your back!" Link smiled.

"... ... ... ...No....you....don't!" Zelda said slowly as she ran out of the Sacred Realm.

"I--"

"Look! (echoes) Listen! (echoes)"

"Huh? N-Navi?" Link called.

"Liiink?" Navi sang.

"Navi? Where are you? Show yourself!" Link shouted.

(Lights turn off)

"Watch out!" Navi shouted.

"Whoa! Where?" Link asked as he turned around.

"Finally...after all these years of living with you...I can get my re--"

"Uh...I've only been traveling with you for 5 mon--"

"SILENCE!" Navi shouted.

"Oh my--"

"So you hate it when I say "Look"? You hate it when I say, "Listen"? You hate it when I say "Watch out!"? HUH?" Navi asked.

" I didn't say it....you did." Link said. "Now Navi, show yourself! Damn! It's too dark in here!"

"Good! Now...you will die!" Navi shouted as she ran after Link.

"Oh! There you are, Navi." Link said as he caught her in his hat. "Heh, you're like a floating fire fly."

"Curse my habit of lighting up in the dark....!" Navi pouted.

"Now...what did you say about killing me?" Link asked as he threw Navi against a wall.

"Ow! Attack! Attack!" Navi shouted as she called upon 100, 000 Keese.

"Oh crap...oh wait..." Link took out his sword and started slashing all the Keese.

"Do'h!" Navi said in discouragement.

10 minutes later...

"You were no match for me Navi!" Link said happily.

"Darn you Link! And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for your stupidity!" Navi shouted as she was being thrown in jail.

"Well maybe being stupid is what it takes to defeat you!" Link said.

"When I get out of here! You'll be dead! Dead! You hear me??? DEAD!!!!!" Navi threatened as she was being injected with sleeping potion.

"Thank you Link! Once again you saved the land of Hyrule!" The prison guard said.

"Well it's all thanks to the Scooby Doo Detective Agency....oh! And your local library!" Link said as he winked.

Scene ends with Link, the prison guard, and the Scooby Doo Detective Agency laughing.

Back to Reality...

"Why don't you want to talk about it?" Malon asked Link.

"Can I ask you something?" Link asked.

"Yes...what is it...?" Malon asked.

"Have you heard of "Love at First Site"?" He asked as he looked into her eyes.

"Oh my...Link...(blushes)....why...no...hee hee...why?" Malon asked as she smiled.

"Pfft!Oh gosh! You have to read that book! It's friggin hilarious! This guy says "I feel like I'm in love...!" HILARIOUS! Man...if i got crap for everytime I heard that, I'd be swimmin in some deep sh--"

"UH! Link...I think that's enough now..."

"What's your problem?" Link asked.

"NOTHING! Now...can I help you in anyway?" Malon asked.

"No...but you can help me. I need Epona again, don't worry about playing Epona's song cuz she's just gonna remember me anyway."

"Wait...I never lent you Epona, Link...(hasp) YOU STOLE H--"

"So can I borrow her?"

"Sure, why not."

"(turns around) BOOYAH!" Link shouted.

At Lon Lon Ranch...

"Would you like some Lon Lon Milk, Link?" Malon asked as she handed Link a bottle of Lon Lon milk.

"Eh...sure why not?" Link said as he gulped down the whole thing. "MMMMM!!!!" Link said as he threw the bottle on the ground.

"You like it?"

"No! Now give me Epona!" Link smiled.

"Grr....okay...I'll call her." Malon said.

"Hmm..."

"Oooh! Oooh! Oooooooooh! O--" Malon sang.

"Geez Louise, Malon! What're you tryin to do? Destroy my ears? No thanks, I think I'll use my Ocarina..." Link said as he took out his Ocarina.

"You little b--"

Link quickly interrupted Malon's dirty mouth and played Epona's song on his ocarina. Epona then came running over to Link but ran Malon over first.

"Good job girl. Here's my end of the bargain." Link whisepered to Epona as he handed her a carrot. "Now...we are off!!!" Link said as he hopped on Epona's back. "Now...I think we're goin east.

Epona, who was still stepping on Malon turned East.

"OWWWW!!!!" Malon shouted.

"Wait...no...no...I think it was west..."

Epona turned west while still stepping on the farm girl.

"OH LORD HAVE MERCY!!!" Malon cried.

"Wait...uh...it was south?" Link thought.

Before Epona could turn south Malon cried...

"NORTH DAMNIT!!!!! GO NORTH!!!!" Malon cried.

"Oh yeah! Thanks sir! To the North!" Link commanded.

"Good rid--"

Epona stepped on her once more and went North from Lon Lon Ranch.

To be continued...

A/N: It sucked...there, I said it for you. At least review okay? Next chapter will be up if I survive the flames.