Author's Note: I hope you guys have missed this fic as much as I have (I've been working, not writing).And Bob-chan…I'm sorry ,but I don't know what happened to your character bio. I wanted to get this chapter written, so I took a little license with Aurora. I wrote down what I could remember, and made up the rest based on you.
"Gentlemen," Remus began, gazing seriously at the three young men he spent most of his time with (in a platonic fashion…of course) "this cannot go on. After our last meeting about the wedding, I decided that we needed a bit of a…er, well, a bit of a feminine touch, if you will, and, well, to make a long story short, I explained to Creidwy what we're doing here."
"You did what?" James asked disbelievingly. "Remus, that girl wouldn't know how to plan a wedding if wedding plans came up to her one night and bit her right on the –"
"Wait!" Remus interrupted, sounding harassed. "You have no idea what she said to me. She said no woman in her right mind would want Led Zeppelin and barbecue at her wedding, and that 'pink, purple, orange and black is under NO circumstances an appropriate color scheme for a wedding,'" he stressed, putting on a drawling soprano voice for effect.
"Whoever said Lily was in her right mind?" Peter pointed out.
"AND," the current speaker continued, "she said that if I allowed you all to totally ruin the wedding, then I wasn't as understanding of women as she had thought, and that she would throw me out and leave me!"
Silence. Count three, four, five.
"Er…Remus, mate?" Sirius ventured. "A few things. One: She cannot throw you out of a flat that YOU pay the rent on in YOUR name. Two: If she did leave you, you could get that fucking goldfish and be done with it. Three: said circumstances would leave you a lot happier, so why complain?"
"You don't understand!" the werewolf howled. "She is the only…the ONLY woman I have met that doesn't mind that I'm a werewolf who can't get a job! If she leaves, I MAY NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN, EVER!"
The other three gazed at him silently for a moment, contemplating him.
"It's as if some internal reservoir has finally burst," James declared in a rare moment of lucidity.
"I've never even had sex," Peter countered. "You might not miss it after a while."
Unintelligable spluttering noise from Remus.
"Look," Sirius illustrated sensibly, "that's what hookers are for, Remus."
"Says the bloke that can't get a bird!" James laughed aloud. "You only complain about YOUR singledom twenty-four/seven."
"I'm Sirius Black!" The dark-haired man countered haughtily. "I don't have to pay women to…Argh!"
His last words were cut off as Remus hit him with a flying tackle.
"Oh, would you GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!" A female voice issued from behind the door.
All four men looked at each other slowly.
"What," James demanded sternly, "was that?"
Smoothing his hair and straightening his worn clothes as much as possible, Remus drew himself to his feet.
"Gentlemen," he began (again), "may I introduce…the professional!"
"The Professional", James decided, definitely looked like the sort of woman who went into weddings as a career choice because she was totally, completely mad for that sort of thing. One look at her robes proved it: they were made of floaty, frilly, sparkly blue stuff that Lily would just adore if she were to see it. Lily, however, was not there to see it….just the Marauders, who were all goggling slightly, trying to work out if they were impressed, charmed or scared. Peter's face had gone a tad blank, and his tongue was lolling slightly, but that was sort of normal for him anyway. He wasn't exactly used to being in this close proximity to pretty women, and The Professional was quite pretty indeed. She was tall and slim, with a fair complexion, hazel eyes and long, silky light brown hair. She looked, James thought, a few years older than they were. Maybe about Creidwy's age, though hopefully a lot less mad.
"Hello," the young woman said energetically. "I'm Aurora Venus, and I'll be your wedding planner for this event. Good thing, too, because from what I've heard, you need one!" She smiled cheerfully at the four young men, awaiting their response.
"What, exactly, did you say to her?" James hissed to Remus through his teeth, sounding annoyed. He could tell that she thought they were all hopelessly incompetent as wedding planners. Something about the way she seemed to be fighting back a serious case of giggles…
"Nothing! Nothing!" Remus said hastily, looking like he wished he could melt away into the carpet until the whole thing was over. "I just told her that we're a group of recent graduates who are hopelessly incompetent at planning this type of thing, and we're in desperate need of help before we all get killed or go insane."
James just stared. This was one of those moments when his dear Moony seemed to be this close to going completely around the bend...
"So!" Aurora continued smartly, "what exactly did you have planned so far? I don't really like to work with nothing, you know."
Sirius, who had been eyeing up the young and pretty wedding planner, decided that it was his moment to speak and impress her with his fantastic skills of compromise.
"Well," he said importantly, "After many long hours of trying to force these fellows away from the disastrous wedding plans they had thought up, I managed to force them into one of those compromise things that everyone says are so great. So, we have decided that the basic outline for the wedding is going to be a black, orange, pink and purple color scheme, the food is barbecue because everyone likes it and it's easy, and the music will be Led Zeppelin…and the Maid of Honor will NOT BE CELINA ADRIENNE! " He seemed to be finished, then added under his breath "so instead we're going to put Moony in a dress whether he likes it or not."
Oh, yeah. Compromise. She would love it.
The Marauders held their breath, waiting for Aurora's reaction.
Somehow, it was not entirely what they –particularly Sirius- had expected.
"AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She shrieked, her hazel eyes wide, head in her hands, backing away from them like they had some sort of terrible tastelessness disease.
The men only looked at each other nervously and hastily backed up, trying to get out of the line of fire should she decide to start acting unpredictably.
On second thought, though, she already had.
"Not what I wanted, not what I wanted," she was muttering to herself, dramatically clapping a hand to her forehead. "Ohhh, God, I might as well just start from the ground up with nothing, instead of THIS CRAP YOU'VE GIVEN ME TO WORK WITH!" She exploded, glaring at Sirius as though the whole thing was somehow entirely his fault.
Peter, James and Remus scooted a little farther away from the sinner in their midst…it had been his big idea to tell her everything, and now he would have to suffer the consequences.
"Moony," James said hoarsely, "Where did you find this woman?"
"She's a friend of Creidwy's," Remus said sheepishly.
"Well, no wonder she's like this!" Peter managed to get out, looking more and more terrified by the wedding planner as she paced back and forth muttering frantically about trying to create a whole wedding from the ground up for people who didn't know what they wanted. "She's in cahoots with The Crazy Girlfriend! They're all alike!"
"You know Creidwy Caliban?" Sirius asked, trepidation evident in his voice.
"Wha-? Oh, yes!" Aurora exclaimed brightly. "We were in the same N.E.W.T. level Potions class, but I was in Ravenclaw and she was in Slytherin. I somehow managed to explode the Wolfsbane potion she had been working on, and she hexed me so fast I didn't know what had hit me! We've been fast friends ever since," she concluded, as if her touching little "how-we-met" story had made any sense at all to the four poor men who were assembled in front of her, looking bewildered.
"This wedding is getting more and more like Hell," James groaned. "The Crazy Girlfriend is the wedding singer and is not only a nutjob, but also completely mad and more than a little psychotic, the wedding planner wants to skin us alive and is in cahoots with The Crazy Girlfriend, my best man will be on the bridesmaids faster than Gilderoy Lockhart on matching accessories, the 'Maid of Honor' will have to be a MAN IN DRAG if I want the best man to stick around –"
" –HE WILL NOT!" Remus interjected angrily. "There is no way I'm wearing a pink and orange and purple and black DRESS to your wedding! NO WAY!"
"AND NOW WE CAN'T EVEN USE OUR ORIGINAL PLAN!" James howled dramatically. He stood there for a moment as if trying to get a grip, then rounded on Aurora.
"Please, Miss Venus! You have to make this easier on us! It's your job, we're paying you to do it! You plan weddings!" He burst out.
Aurora nodded very seriously, as if humoring this poor young man who was hysterically explaining the details of her job to her as his stunned friends looked on. She smothered a laugh.
"Gentlemen," she began, once James had finally shut up for good. "I suggest that first we talk to the bride. This is her day, after all," she said somewhat sternly.
The four friends looked at one another and nodded miserably. Yes, it was Lily's day. That was how they had gotten into this whole planning mess in the first place.