Disclaimer I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters.
Scene 1- Behind the Door
In the dawn's early light, several young men were beginning to lose their tempers. This long of a wait was ridiculous. Although team Urameshi are the reluctant 'guests' for the Dark Tournament, they still were furnished with a lavish hotel suite for the five-member team. However, Urameshi Yusuke has found a serious flaw in the floor plan.
"Come off it, Kurama and hurry up!" Yusuke hollered at his teammate for the fourth time. Crossing his arms, Yusuke leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door. "I can't believe this! This is such a fancy place but this suite has only one damn bathroom!" He hollered as he threw his towel on the floor.
From behind the locked door, there came a muffled reply from the kistune. "I'll be finished shortly."
"Hn!" Hiei withstood the desire to cross his legs as Kuwabara was currently doing. While Yusuke was the only one still needing a shower, all three males had a more important reason to get behind that door.
Kuwabara turned his head to look at the clock and then back to the still closed door. "Kurama! You said you would be out shortly over twenty-three minutes ago. And you were in there for fifteen minutes before that!" By now he had begun to hop from one foot to the next. "Kurama, please hurry up…I got to go pee!"
In some twisted irony, Kuwabara's 'I need to pee' dance has only made the need stronger for Hiei. "So do I, fox! Stop playing with your hair and get out!"
Again the muffled reply came of "I'll be out shortly."
However, this time Kuwabara noticed something peculiar. As Kuwabara approached the door Yusuke stood tall …as much as he possibly could given his average height versus Kuwabara's. "Get in line, dumb ass! I was here first."
Raising an eyebrow, Hiei looked at the youth. "I was here before you."
"Shh, I hear something." Kuwabara waved a hand at them as he kneeled, then he pressed an ear to the door. "Yeah, there it is… a 'plink' sort of sound. It keeps going plink…plink…plink."
Grinning, Yusuke leaned forward…to deliver a punch to his friend's head. "Big deal, you heard a plinky from behind the door. I'm so impressed." With his hands on his hips, Yusuke stood over the now-sitting Kuwabara. "Hey, here's a thought. That plink sound is water dripping! There, the mystery is solved."
In a flash, Kuwabara was standing and glaring at his old rival, as he pointed a finger at ... no into the tip of Yusuke's nose. "No, it's not water, ignoramus!" Looking cross-eyed at the finger while hearing 'ignoramus', brought a flash of memory from the beginning of Genkai's Tournament to Yusuke.
Stepping away from the door, Kuwabara rubbed his chin. "Naw, this sound is caused by something ... well heavier than water. It brings back a memory of a time my sis wanted to torture me." Turning his back to Yusuke and Hiei, Kuwabara ignored their deadpan faces and the comments of 'what's new'. "Around when I was eleven, Shizuru tied me down in a chair and gagged me. She then brought out a large box filled with rice, coffee beans, sesame seeds and other types of seeds. She turned off all the radios, the TV, everything was silent. And since it was so late at night there were no sounds from outside either. She then started to take one item out of the can and dropped it onto the hardwood floor, then went to drop another and another. That doesn't sound too bad unlit you think of how long it went on. You can't cover up your ears, you can't hum or talk to cover the sound and you can't get up and leave. When all you hear is a bean or a seed dropping, one at a time for an hour or longer… it's a type of annoyance that grows into a type of torture. You can compare it to that Chinese water torture."
"Sounds like a most amusing torture method. A pity I couldn't have been there to see you squirm." Kuwabara could only glare at the fire demon at the moment … he did not have the energy to make a retort as his bladder was making its own demands. "I assume that you brought up that story because of the similarity in the sounds. Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"
Glaring at the closed door, Kuwabara nodded his head, "Yeah, I am suggesting that." With a frustrated growl, he shook a fist at the door as he hollered.
"KURAMA! YOU BETTER NOT BE DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING!"
Yusuke's jaw dropped in shock. With his back turned towards them, they didn't see Hiei's eyes widen in shock and annoyance. Kuwabara grimaced as he asked what the chances were that he and Hiei would yell the same thing at the exact same time.
The only reply came from behind the closed door. "I'll be finished shortly."
"That does it! A short amount of time has come and gone. I need to go the bathroom. Now! I can't wait any longer." With that Kuwabara got up to walk to the front door. "You two can wait here if you want to, but I know a nice secluded group of trees and bushes that will hide me as I answer nature's call."
Yusuke would only blink as Kuwabara opened the door and walked out. "Well, you want to go out there and piss in public? Huh… Hiei?" Finally he turned to face Hiei after noticing the silence. Looking at the balcony, Yusuke saw that only the curtains were moving and Hiei was nowhere in sight. "Damn, I'm glad I'm just waiting for a shower."
In the silence that followed the only sound was a steady plink, plink, plink.
After ten minutes, Hiei and Kuwabara both were walking down the hall to the suite. "Hn, I agree. He's been in there long enough. He is taxing my patience." Whatever the reply may have been, it was cut off as they opened the door to find the TV was blaring.
"I don't know why you two are getting along and I don't care. Just make it stop!" At the sudden outburst, they noticed that Yusuke had finally left the bathroom door. However, he is now sitting on the couch covering his ears.
"Fool." Hiei walked over to the TV and turned it off. Hiei gave a glare at the door for as soon as the TV was off they could hear the hollow promise of 'I'll be finished shortly'. "If it was too loud, you should have turned it down."
"No, you got to turn it back on!" Yusuke jumped off the couch to go turn the television back on. Suddenly an elbow dropping sharply on his head stopped Yusuke's forward movement. Rubbing the top of his head, he turned to face the culprit. "Gee, thanks Kuwabara, I needed that…not."
"Yeah, you did need it, Urameshi." Giving one his trademark grins, Kuwabara poked Yusuke in the side. "That was to snap you back to your senses. You sat there by the bathroom door the entire time we were gone, didn't you? And all you could hear was the plink, plink, plink. You had the TV blaring but you could still hear it. I told you it was a demented type of torture."
"Damn it! Why didn't the TV cover up that damned sound?" Was Yusuke's only admission that Kuwabara was correct.
"That's because you were aware of the sound, dimwit." Genkai walked in and sat down on the couch. "And in trying to cover up the sound, you were subconsciously listening harder to see if you could still hear it. Therefore, your attempts to drown out the sound failed." After placing her coffee mug down, The Reikai master turned to face the boys. "Well, do you boys have the faintest idea what is making plinking sound in your bathroom?"
"Kurama." All three of the guys answered at the same time.
Genkai blinked at the muffled reply of "I'll be finished shortly".
"Hey, Hiei…" Kuwabara waited until his teammate glared at him. "How about we go ahead with what we were planning out in the hallway."
"Hn." Hiei walked over to the door as he pulled out a small kit. As Yusuke looked over the fire demon's shoulder, he could see it was some type of lock picking kit. "That fox has been in there for an hour now. That's plenty of time to 'wash his hair.' I want to know what he is really doing."
As the bathroom door swung open, the other members of Team Urameshi saw Kurama sitting by the bathtub combing his hair. What caught their attention was that the tub was full. However, it was not water that filled it, but seeds. Countless seeds were piled in the porcelain basin and were spilling over.
Kurama patiently smiled at them in his polite yet arrogant way as he asked if anything was wrong.
With his wide as saucers, Kuwabara pointed at the seed-filled tub. "Damn Kurama, are you going to wash your hair or take inventory?"
This will be my first YYH all-funny fic. I warn you now that slapstick and campy humor lies ahead. I am going to attempt to try to write the humor in character with the show. It is not as easy as it sounds, so there may be some OOC. Most of the OOC will be on Hiei's part. However, I will be going by the Japanese subbed version NOT the English dubbed version. Therefore, for the people that have only seen the dubbed version may think its OOC when it is not. Yes, there is a difference between dubbing and subbing.
DUBBING IS EVIL…most of the time.
Here is why I say that: Way back in Genkai's Tournament when Kuwabara gets a perfect score on rock, paper, scissors (r-p-s), it is because of his strong reikan. In the D.T., the guys play r-p-s to see who will go fight next. However, in the English-dubbed version, they have Hiei say that Kuwabara is cheating by going a second after the others. That does NOT happen in the ORIGINAL, Japanese version with subtitles. Kuwabara does NOT need to cheat, his reikan is enormous!
This brings us to the one episode I DO like in the dubbed version. The subbed version has Genkai tell Yusuke of Kuwabara's reikan is great in her own obscure way, but the dubbed version she makes it clearer. Genkai says that Kuwabara has unparalleled spirit awareness. By that comment she admits that his reikan is stronger than Shizuru's or her own. The difference is that Genkai has the years of training with hers that allow her to perform spells and such, while Kuwabara is still young. However there is that time that Kurama, Hiei and Urameshi spent in Makai…
In the last episode, we find out that Kuwabara has been sneaking off to Genkai's temple, visiting Yukina. I say 'sneak' because even Shizuru did not know about it for those years. While he was there at Genkai's temple, he COULD be getting tips with his reikan from Genkai….
At the end of the manga, instead of Yukina living with Genkai, she living with the Kuwabara's'! Okay enough ranting… time for some laughs.