Disclaimer- I do not own any character from Yu Yu Hakusho or Bastard!
As in every chapter of Deleted Scenes, the characters are prone to moments of OOC.
Phooey, here I was trying to write the next chapter to my Wandering Souls fic, and slapstick humor comes and hits me in the face. Well, WS is a serious (or I try to make it one) story, so a chapter that is nothing but corny humor will not fit in there.
Dangerous Skies and Cliches
A light drizzle fell as Kuwabara walked over to the park with four coca-colas for everyone. Yusuke wiped a raindrop from his cheek as he stared at the sky. "Hey, why can't this be written by a fangirl?"
Three horrified faces stare at his own, only to be followed by Kuwabara's fist. "You're insane! Why would anyone want that type of horror to happen?"
"Hn" Hiei grunted from his perch atop of a fence post. "If a fangirl was writing this drabble, then the story would begin by the cliché of everything being picturesque, the sun shining and no rain. I, for one, prefer the rain." Unlike Yusuke, Hiei didn't think that a fangirl is a fair exchange for nice weather.
"I have to agree with Hiei. I would rather have it storming than have the story written by a fangirl. Why if the day started out all right in the fangirl's story, it would be ruined by the appearance of Mary Sue, a beautiful girl whose measurements are asinine." Kurama added as he shuddered, the memories of past stories have left deep emotional scars on his psyche. "They are so perfect, that it is inhuman! I can never believe in such perfection."
The idle chatter went on for some time. The four heroes were so caught up in the horrors of fanfiction that failed to notice that the rain stopped but dark clouds swirled ahead. A clash of thunder caused them to look skyward as an object dropped out of the eye of the storm.
"No way! It can't be!" Kuwabara cried in abject dismay. He ignored his old rival Urameshi asking what it was. Kuwabara watches as the object drifted slowly towards the ground. "Don't you guys realize what's going on?"
Hiei just grunted an 'hn' as Kurama raised an eyebrow and Yusuke hollered out for Kuwabara to 'get to the fucking point'.
Pointing to the ever slowly dropping object, Kuwabara raised his voice. "The thunder, the swirling clouds and a mysterious object descending from the eye of the storm... it's nothing less than..." Choking for a moment, Kuwabara swallowed before hollering it out.
"It's a cliché!"
"Kuwabara's having a "Bastard!" flashback!" Yusuke clamped both hands over his mouth in horror as he whispered.
"What do you mean Yusuke?" Kurama asked.
"If this was written by a fangirl, I would make a comment along the lines of 'the oaf is always having a bastard moment.'" Hiei snapped as he sat under a dry branch, flipping through some of the English graphic novels released by Viz for Bastard!. After finding page ? of volume? , Hiei showed the following pages were High Priest Geo is talking to the Grand Dame (aka Old Hag) about the shield on the Explosive Wizard, Dark Schneider, Hiei hands the book to Kurama.
Taking a few minutes to read the pages, Kurama puts the book aside. "Ah, I understand now." Giving a knowing smile, Kurama turned to consider Hiei. "I also understand the double meaning of you saying he always having 'Bastard' moment. Not only were you calling Kuwabara-kun an actual bastard, you were hinting at some similarities between our teammate and this character called Dark Schneider."
"They are both hot-headed, insufferable, foul-mouthed, believing they are unbeatable, etc.,etc. " Hiei smirked as he waved a dismissive hand. "To continue on, 'self-centered and careless and greedy and vain, reckless, short-tempered, unreasonable, crafty, pompous, horny, and on top of that, violent'."
Blinking, Kurama could only stare,. "Why did it sound like you were quoting something? And I don't think the horny part actually fits him."
" First off, I was quoting the Bastard! graphic novels. Secondly, YOU don't have a secret sister that you keep an eye on! I know he gets a woody when he's near my sister. Why do think I really don't want him near Yukina?" Hiei glared.
"Why Hiei, I've never heard you talk with such slang words before!" Yusuke didn't know to beam with pride at Hiei's seeming slang talk or run in fear.
"Stupid detective. This is a fanfic, of course I am out of character!" Hiei snarled.
The sound of munching from the side caught the attention of Yusuke, Hiei and Kurama. There, in a director's chair, sat Kuwabara calmly eating a tub of buttered popcorn as he watched the three. "Don't mind me, go ahead. So far this scene is actually funny."
Asinine like an ass, esp. stupid or stubborn.
All this time I thought it was spelled asine when it's spelled asinine. I did the smart thing and looked it up in the dictionary that I keep at my computer desk.
The line Hiei quoted self-centered and careless and greedy and vain, reckless, short-tempered, unreasonable, crafty, pompous, horny, and on top of that, violent'." came from Bastard! and I do not own it. I will not tell which volume it came from (yet) because I'm interested to see how many others read Bastard! I first got into it the video, I finally found the DVD and discovered Viz is publishing the graphic novels Thank the gods! Because the show ends without them fighting neither Abigail or Kall-Su. Or what happens after that.