POB: ::Growls angrily:: You stupid jerk! I told you not to touch me, but you are so damn persistent! ::Is trying to break free from Del's hold, because he has her close to him, holding her rather tightly from behind.::
Del: ::Barks:: Well, If you weren't so easy then maybe I wouldn't have the need to!
::An imitation record scratch is heard, and POB and Dee freeze, then turn around slowly to glare at Del.::
POB: ::Whispers demonically:: Easy?! Easy?! EASY????!!!! You…you…
Dee: ::Shakes head knowingly:: Whatever you were thinking, you should have just kept it in your head, Del…tsk tsk tsk, so sad…
Del: ::What the hell? I didn't mean it like that! Honey please…take a second to listen to me! ::Slowly backs away, eyes wide::
POB: :: Starts to breathe heavily:: What other way could you have meant it? Huh? ::Charges for him, and runs into him, but he is quick and picks her up and flips her over, then pins her to the ground, looking into her eyes as she stares up at him angrily. He smirks.::
Del: ::Grins:: Now now, love…let me see…do you feel easy now?
POB: ::Scowls:: More than ever…
Del: ::Kisses her:: Now, baby, do you feel easy? ::Looks into her eyes with care::
POB: ::Blushes:: Not…really.
Dee: ::Shakes head:: When will those two ever learn? I swear…
::::::::::Five Minutes Later::::::::::
::A rhythmic sound is heard coming from behind the door of a room as Dee closes her ears, writhing on the floor screaming to make it stop. POB and Del are nowhere to be seen.::
Dee: ::Cries out loud:: WILL YOU TWO STOP IT PLEASE AND DO THE DAMN DISCLAIMER! THIS HAPPENS EVERY TIME! YOU TWO GET MAD AT EACH OTHER, MAKE UP, AND FUCK RIGHT WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THE DISCLAIMER! DO YOU HAVE ANY MORALS FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY READING THIS YOU COUPLE OF FRISKY RABBITS?
POB: ::Screams:: DEL!
Del: ::Moans in throat, then whispers:: Honey, maybe you should do it before she exposes us…::Kisses her::
POB: ::Shakes head, breathless:: No, I…I…don't stop!
Dee: ::Gets really mad.:: FINE! DO YOU READERS OUT THERE WANT A DISCLAIMER? THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A DISCLAIMER!
::She tries to drown out the sounds as they are getting louder and louder from the other room. Dee closes her ears and starts to scream the disclaimer.::
Dee: ::Screams:: The characters in this story all belong to their respectful owners except for the PriestessOfBlue, who belongs solely to Delancey James Dunn, and Delancey James Dunn, who belongs to himself. So he owns her and himself. Kenji might as well own Cocomi, because they are a bunch of freak-a-leaks! I mean, I've seen less kanoodling in…goddammit i have just seen less kanoodling everywhere! So, that is the disclaimer! If you want to know who owns me, it is strictly NO ONE! I am independent! Well, maybe Sesshomaru or Miroku owns me, along with the children that I am carrying that they are in fact the fathers of!
Miroku: ::Sighs:: In your dreams…there is only one for me, and it is Sango! Wait, er…maybe not exactly truly for surely her, but just not you. I hope I made that clear.
Sesshomaru: Women like you barely faze me. I'd rather die a bachelor than spend one night with you, if God would allow. ::Looks uninterested.::
Dee: You two aren't even allowed in the disclaimer! Get out! Or I'll go to extreme measures to get you out! ::Shoos them:: Shoo! Shoo!
Miroku: ::Eyes widen:: HEY! You don't have to grab my ass if you want to shoo me out, just push me, sheesh!
Dee: ::Laughs evilly:: Now you know how it feels you bastard!
Sesshomaru: ::Growls:: STOP playing with my hair! I washed it just this morning and I don't want to have to do it again because of you!
::Dee snickers and shoos them off, after copping one last feel. POB and Del come out of the room, looking like a hot mess. They grin at each other before making their way toward Dee::
::Del kisses POB's neck as he holds her, them looking at Dee happily.::
Dee: ::Rolls eyes, clearly aggravated.:: So I see you two made up…can we get on with the story? This disclaimer took like, forever…
POB: ::Smiles, speaking rather placidly:: Ok, The PriestessOfBlue, also known as moi, does not own anyone except for the character Cocomi Myojin, and Delancey James Dunn. Everyone else is copyright to their respectful owners. Right love?
Del: ::Winks:: You know it…::Smiles::
Dee: ::Falls over::
::Sesshomaru and Miroku have just finished performing their rendition of Mambo No. 5, and they are in their dressing room changing back into some more comfortable clothes. Ironically, someone decided to be a gay pervert and locked Sesshomaru off from his room, and now Sesshomaru and Miroku have to share one.::
Miroku: ::Sighs:: Well, that was a whole lot of fun, wasn't it?
Sesshomaru: ::Smiles a little:: Yes, actually it was. I wonder if Rin and Jaken saw it…
Miroku: ::Looks over at him, laughing:: Those two mean a lot to you, huh?
Sesshomaru: ::Seems to be lost in thought:: Yes, well, Rin does. She is like the little sister I never had…
Miroku: ::Question mark forms over head:: What? Little sister? I thought she would be like a little daughter to you…
Sesshomaru: Jaken is more like the daughter. Rin is almost a Tomboy.
::Miroku's eyes widen and he starts to laugh uncontrollably.:: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you mean, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
::Sesshomaru shakes his head and laughs along with him, rather loud, If I might add.::
::Back at the Songfic Shuffle area, Cocomi and Kenji are getting really kissy on each other.::
Kenji: ::Whispers in her ear:: I'm so happy that I'm marrying you. You are my one and only. ::Hugs her, smiling::
::Cocomi blushes and looks at him.:: You are my one and only too…
Cameraman: ::Looks at the kanoodling couple in front of him and gets agitated.:: You know what?
::Kenji glares over at him, his purple eyes turning a bright red as Cocomi snuggles into him. The estranged cameraman gulps and stands there for a couple minutes as they finish up what they are doing.::
::Cocomi straightens up her hair and prepares for the camera as she retrieves her microphone from down Kenji's shirt. He makes sure his ponytail is straight and laughs to himself as the cameraman focuses in on them.::
Cocomi: ::Speaks:: Welcome back to the Infamous Songfic Shuffle, everyone! I'm, as you all know, Cocomi Myojin, soon to be Cocomi Myojin Himura! ::Smiles::
::The audience rolls their eyes in unison as a couple of groans wave throughout the crowd. A clearly pissed off person in the crowd yells at her, fist wavering in the air.::
Person in crowd: ::Screams:: HEY! Do us all a favor and get your ass of the stage!
::Cocomi's eyes widen as Kenji turns around and gives the man in the audience the eye. The man stammers and looks up at Kenji, who is about to open up a can of whoop-ass.::
Kenji: ::Glares, talking quietly:: I'm sorry, were you talking? I mean, your mouth was moving, but all I saw was you mumbling like a senseless retard. Do us all a favor and go back to the shit hole you came out of. ::Hugs Cocomi from behind, her eyes wide and apologetic to the man in front of them in the crowd.::
Person in crowd: ::Cowers sarcastically:: Oh? I'm…really sorry, Hitokiri Battousai…
Cocomi: ::Turns around to face him and blinks, eyes looking in horror at him because his eyes have completely turned blood red and his hair has started to float in the air.:: Wh-wh-why didn't you tell me?
Kenji: ::Looks at her with sorrow:: I did not think it would happen this way, love, but my father passed on his warrior skills to me, and unlike him, I cannot sustain them, along with his violent attitude, like he was, and is able to.
Cocomi: ::Looks to the ground timid and slightly afraid, still being held by him.:: So, that means that it is almost impossible for you to control your bouts of anger?
Kenji: Forgive me, my love, for what I am about to do. :: He picks her up and gently tosses her to Inuyasha and he pulls out the reverse blade he had in his pants. He gets in position as he sets up his sword, and shoots his famous death glare at the man in the crowd. The man snickers up at him.
Inuyasha: ::Catches Cocomi, and looks down on her, puzzled:: You ok, Coco? Sheesh, he is being so careless. You could have hurt yourself!
Cocomi: ::Looks up at him, very scared.:: Now I am, thank you for catching me, but I don't know what has gotten into him, and I don't want him to get hurt…but what are we going to do for the rest of the show?
Inuyasha: ::Laughs:: I guess we will have to wait until this blows over.
Girl #1: :: Ogles at Kenji:: Man, I did not know he had such a big sword! It's so…I mean…gah, wow! ::Drools::
Girl #2: ::Grins:: I wouldn't mind being beaten by that sword...it looks like he could do a whole lot of things with that thing…
::Cocomi gets a little mad and wavers her fists, then tries to get away from Inuyasha to beat up the girls. Inuyasha tries to hold her back as she tries her best to take a punch at the crowd. He panics, and then finally pins her down, looking at her as she is struggling to get away.::
Inuyasha: ::Shakes head in disbelief:: This is some crazy shit…
::On the contrary, where is Naraku? Psh, like no one really cares, but just where could he be? For the few lewd fans of his, I am going to tell you just where he is, so you don't pester me about the bastard later…::
::Naraku is, actually, the very person who locked Sesshomaru out of his dressing room-and ironically locked himself in. So, while the show is on a temporary delay, Naraku feels that it is time he got in touch with his inner self, and indulge in the next best thing that would make any difference in her-I mean his…cough life…::
Naraku: ::Squeals!:: I can't believe I am touching it! Oh my god! His…his…dare I say? UNDERWEAR! Oh sweet Buddha! I'm not in heaven! But better, I'm reincarnated!
::Naraku, being the pig he is, rummages through some more of Fluffy's drawers as his eyes widen in excitement. He lays upon some more underwear, until he finds something he wish he would have never found.::
Naraku: ::Blinks:: EEP! This means that there is no way in hell that he could be gay! ::Cries:: My life mission is ruined! How will I be able to make him my lover? I want him so bad! ::Evil grin.:: Well…I could force him. There is no bad thing about forced love…I have done it in the past, so what could make it that bad?
::Naraku takes a sniff of the underwear he found in his hands and he jumps up and down on the bed, squealing at his master plan. Meanwhile, an unexpected couple is walking through the halls, hearing the squeaks of the bed.::
Kouga: ::Growls, smiling slyly:: You know Ayame, that outfit you are wearing is pretty revealing…kinda my taste, if you know what I mean…::Looks at her in the light of the hall, stopping at the sound she apparently hears.::
Ayame: ::Ears perk up.:: Kouga…did you hear that?
Kouga: ::Moves onto her, kissing her neck:: No, I didn't hear nothin'…
Ayame: ::Gets agitated and pushes him off of her. She moves in the direction of the sound as he grumbles, moving toward her, following the sound as well.:: Do you hear that, Kouga?
Kouga: ::Winces:: Is that coming from Sesshomaru's room?
Ayame: ::Eyes widen.:: Do you hear the creaking of a bed?
::Naraku is heard squealing as he is jumping higher (and harder) on the bed.::
Naraku: ::Chirps.:: OH SESSHOMARU! YOU ARE SO HOT! YOU ARE MINE, YOU HEAR ME? MINE YOU SEXY DOG DEMON! Take me away!
::Ayame and Kouga look at each other straight in the eye and Kouga laughs as he tries to control Ayame, who is about to regurgitate. They run away before Naraku walks out of the dressing room::
::Meanwhile (I think that is turning into one of my favorite words now, desu ka? Ah hee hee!) Kenji has finished that battle he had with the illiterate man in the crowd, who turned out to be…::
Kenji: ::Blinks, looking down on his defeated sparring partner.:: Yuske? Oh shit! I am going to die when he wakes up!
Inuyasha: ::Shakes head:: You know it. If there is anyone meaner than me, it has to be Yuske for sure.
Cocomi: ::Manages to writhe from Inuyasha's strong grip, and runs to Kenji's side, looking at him pleadingly.:: Well, my love, no use crying over spilt milk! We need to get on with the show! This delay is…what do I say…inconvenient?
Kenji: ::Gazes at her, smiling:: You are correct love. ::A mike appears out of no where along with the camera man who should be fired.::
Kenji: WELOME BACK FOLKS! Sorry for the inconvenient delay, but now we are back to bring you more of what you all want…SONGFICS!
::The crowd gives a standing ovation to him, screaming and cheering out loud.::
Cocomi: ::Smiles:: So, audience, it is your turn to vote, once again. What will our fourth performance be? You make the choice! We will be back after a quick commercial break, uppity and ready with the results that you all have pitched in to create!
Kenji: ::Tickles her as she laughs:: See ya in a few!
::The audience starts to vote electronically as many people wait anxiously to find out who will perform next.::
::About 10 minutes later, the DJ goes to the counting booth and checks up on the stats.::
DJ: ::Speaks to counter:: So, have you guys found out who will be performing next?
::One of the counters looks at the stats in wonder in his hand as he slowly looks up to the DJ::
Counter: ::Blinks, smiling a little:: Our first female contestant, and it seems the most unlikely…
DJ: ::Looks at the counter smiling:: And just who could that be?
:: The counter looks at the DJ and motions for him to come closer, as if he is going to whisper in his ear. He does so, and when those two fateful words are whispered the DJ's eyes widen in surprise and he smiles, laughing out loud.::
DJ: ::Talks rather loudly:: HER? Man, if the men in the crowd want a striptease, I don't think they will get it.
Counter: ::Smiles:: I guess that is just how the game goes. Go announce it, man, the public awaits.
::the DJ moves back to his desk, wondering just how the crowd-and the person- will react when they find out just who has to sing.::
::Meanwhile, Kenji and Cocomi are ready to appear in the camera as the cameraman looks on in repulsion. Kenji had threatened him that if he dare say anything about the two of them, he would not have a job anymore. Sadly, the cameraman's only income came form the taping of live shows, so he had to agree, or else he'd be out on the streets…poor cameraman…sniff::
Kenji: ::Smiles:: Welcome back, ladies and gents! Now it is time to announce the next perfomer…::yells to the audience:: ARE YA READY?
Audience: ::Hoots, hollers, screams:: YEEEAAAAHHHH!
Cocomi: ::Looks over to DJ:: Hey DJ, that's my DJ, go DJ, TAKE IT AWAY!
DJ: ::Laughs:: Thanks, Coco. Our next performer will be…::pretends to open up paper:: Miss…DEMON EXTERMINATOR SANGO!
Sango: ::Eyes widen:: M-m-Me? ME?
Kagome: ::Laughs:: ALL RIGHT! GO SANGO!
::The audience cheers as the scared Sango turns pale and sick::
Sango: ::Blinks:: Why me? I can't sing? I can't even dance! What song? What? ::Slowly slumps down onto floor, nauseated.:: Kagome, I can't do this…
Kagome: ::Slowly helps her friend up.:: Yes you can! I'll even be in the dressing room with you!
DJ: ::Looks at the flustered Sango:: Hey, Sango, slow your roll, I haven't even told you what song you will be singing!
Sango: ::Tries to run away and break free form Kagome's hold:: EXACTLY! I DON'T WANNA KNOW!!!!
DJ: ::Shakes head, laughing loudly:: Too bad, girl. I'm telling you anyways. The song that you will be performing in front of an audience of jealous girls and lustful men is…DIP IT LOW BY CHRISTINA MILIAN!
Sango: ::Yells:: WHAT? AND DEGRADE THE FEMALE SOCITEY MORE? NEVER! THAT SONG IS A LEWD, DISTASTEFUL EXAMPLE OF WOMEN PERCEIVED BY THE MALE PATRIARCHAL MIND!
DJ: ::Rolls eyes:: Whatever the hell you just said, you are up next. ASSISTANTS! Please get DES to a dressing room!
::The male audience members hoot and holler at her as she is carried off to the dressing room. At the same time, Kouga and Ayame come to the center of the stage and steal a microphone, panting heavily from the running they had done. Kenji and Cocomi look up at them in confusion as Kouga starts to speak::
Kouga: EVERYONE! LISTEN TO ME!
Inuyasha: :Glares, Yelling:: WHO WANTS TO?
Kouga: ::Growls:: You shut the fuck up I ain't talking to you!
Inuyasha: ::Yells:: Oh the hell you were shit brain! You wanna take it outside?
Kouga: ::Screams:: MAKE ME!
::Ayame steals his microphone and talks to the audience while the two bicker on the sidelines.::
Ayame: ::Rolls eyes, then looks seriously to the audience:: We think that Naraku has subdued Sesshomaru, and is now trying to kill him! We heard it all, from the
first puncture to the last blood curdling moan…its horrible…
Kagome: ::Looks around:: What do you mean subdued?
Ayame: Oh forget it. Naraku is gay and he has taken Sesshomaru against his will as his love slave!
::The crowd gasps in shock as ten people throw up on the floor and a couple of people scream at how gross that is.::
Kenshin: ::Screams at the top of his lungs:: I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!
Kaoru: ::Shakes head:: I mean, I can understand what he would do with Sesshomaru. I know he isn't gay…
::All of a sudden, Miroku and Sesshomaru appear out of the dressing room and walk toward the center of the room. Everything and everyone go silent as the stare at them, blinking. The throw-up-ees begin their second round of regurgitation as Ayame looks on in horror.::
Ayame: ::Cringes:: Miroku, Sesshomaru, were you two, in the same dressing room, for some reason?
Sesshomaru: ::Looks around at everyone, wondering why everyone has that eerie look on their face.:: Yes, only because someone locked me out of my dressing room. So I got ready in Miroku's.
::A huge wave of sighs of relief come over the whole entire as people hi-five each other and girls fall on the ground, thanking God, Buddha, and whoever else they may worship. Miroku turns to Sesshomaru and raises one of his eyebrows as Sesshomaru shakes his head::
Miroku: ::Blinks:: I think it's a whole lot better if we don't ask.
Sesshomaru: For once, I agree with you, monk.
Miroku: ::Turns to DJ:: So, man, who's singing next?
::the DJ comes over to Miroku and whispers who is performing, and Miroku falls to the floor, before quickly getting back up again.::
Miroku: ::Screams:: Sango? Sango? SANGO? SAAAANGO?
Sesshomaru: ::Blinks:: Sango?
Miroku: ::Whispers to self, looking as if he is praying:: Thank you BUDDHA!
Sesshomaru: What did you say?
Miroku: ::Looks over quickly, a little unnerved:: er, nothing…
::Meanwhile, Sango is getting ready in her dressing room, and the crowd is readily anticipating the first female performance of the night.::
POB: ::Smiles:: And I am stoppin' it right THERE!
Dee: What? You've made them wait long enough, and now you are gonna delay the performance?
POB: ::Grins:: YESH! That was part one, everybody! I wanted to let you all know that even though I have been going through a lot, I HAVE NOT, and WILL NOT give up on SONGFIC SHUFFLE! IT IS HERE TO STAAAAAYYYY!
Dee: Great. Now I know that I at least have a job through Christmas….
Del: ::Walks over to POB:: Hey baby, I'm happy you're continuing the story…
POB: ::Blushes:: Th-th-thank you, love…
Dee: Did I not make myself clear? My mother fucking God. That is it! I am issuing a restraining order for you two!
Del: ::Scoffs:: And how the hell are you going to? Huh? I don't think you will be able to…you're just bluffing…
Dee: Watch me, you pot-smoking motherfucker…
OK! THIS CHAPTER IS SOLEY DEDICATED TO THE QUEEN OF HUMOR, LUCLIPSE85! I SWEAR YOU HAVE BEEN THERE FROM TH START, AND THIS WHOLE STORY GOES TO YOU! I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALL THE IDEAS, AND SUPPORTING ME 100! I ALSO WANT TO THANK ALL MY REVIEWERS! BABY BOO, YOU WERE PART OF THAT INSPIRATION TOO! YOU WANTED ME TO CONTINUE, SO HERE'S TO YOU AS WELL! Thank you to all my reviewers!
Now, this was part one. How is Sago gonna do? Is someone gonna die? Will I kill someone? Will Del and POB stop their escapades? Will Dee completely lose faith in us and plot against the system? By the way, where the hell was she in the story? Hmm, I guess you'll hafta find out in part two…
Part two will be coming up! For now, Sayonara!