This is my very first fic. Please be gentle. I nearly failed Composition 100 in college, so don't be surprised if this isn't the greatest piece of literature ever to grace ff.net. I do not own the rights to Ranma ½. I do own the entire anime series, O.V.As, and both movies on DVD. Oh, and all the manga. I'm just a slight fan. This takes place at some point after the anime ends. Pretend the whole Phoenix god thing and failed wedding didn't happen.

True Takoyaki Confessions

"Damn that Shampoo! Damn my stomach! I'll be lucky to survive the night! That takoyaki was tasty, though. If that cute tomboy of mine finds out about this, I might as well...wait a sec...cute? That's it. I'm gonna die..." Ranma was mumbling to himself as he walked back to the Tendo dojo. He was returning from a rather, shall we say, tragic free meal at the Nekohanten.

Flashback

"Nihao! Welcome to Cat Café, please take seat and...airen!" squealed Shampoo. She promptly gave Mousse the order she was carrying and glomped onto Ranma, who immediately started to wiggle free. 'Thank god Akane went straight home. I don't really feel like being pummeled right now,' Ranma thought.

"Today is very special day. I make too too delicious takoyaki for Ranma to try. If he likes, we add it to menu! You will try, yes?" asked Shampoo in the most impossibly cute voice she could muster. Before she could turn around to escort her beloved "husband" to a seat, Ranma was sitting at the bar area with a napkin and a pair of chopsticks in hand. "You wait right there and I bring out order!" With that, she went into the kitchen. She emerged about five minutes later carrying a plate with three of the biggest takoyaki Ranma had ever seen. He dug right in as soon as she set the puffs down. A minute later, and they were completely devoured.

"Wow Shampoo! Those were GREAT! I knew you were a great cook, but you out did yourself this time! Wait a minute...you didn't do anything...funny...to them, did you?" A feeling of terror started to slowly creep into Ranmas mind. He had been drugged before by Shampoo. Last time it was the suggestion mushrooms. They made him hug Akane several times, and he got smashed for it. He really didn't mind hugging Akane, but he couldn't let her know that. She would've just called him a pervert and hurt him more.

"I no drug takoyaki. Great Grandmother did! It not too bad, though," Shampoo tried to reassure Ranma. "It should be working by now! Let's see if it is..."

"Damn it! I knew there was something wrong! What did you do, Shampoo? And give me the antidote NOW!" Ranma was yelling as loud as he could.

"You see what happens very soon. Now, I ask you question. Why you no marry Shampoo? You in love with violent pervert girl?" Shampoo asked.

"Well yeah, but there's no way I'm gonna tell anyone that...what the hell? Did I just say that? I meant to just think that! AAAAAHHHHHH! Why am I doing this! Damn you Shampoo! What did you do to me?!?!" Ranma screamed.

"I need to know truth, so I asked Great Grandmother to make a truth potion to put in food. She said you would find a way around the potion and decided to put in an ingredient that make you speak what you think. It seem to be working, too..." Shampoo explained. She knew that Ranma loved Akane and not her; she just hadn't expected it to hurt so much when she heard it from Ranma's own mouth. "And I don't have antidote. I already gave it to Akane. Now go. I have to talk with Great Grandmother." As she said those words, she started to tear up.

Before Ranma noticed the tears, he was out the door and running home.

End Flashback

"Gotta get the antidote from Akane! Oh no...if Akane already has the antidote, then she must know what...what if...crap! Gotta keep mind occupied. Pretty nice day out! La la la la la la la la la! This is gonna suck! Akane wouldn't ask me anything bad, would she? Of course not! I mean, it's not like she really wants to know the truth, right?" Ranma was trying to convince himself that the situation couldn't possibly be as bad as he first thought. It wasn't working. "Who am I kidding? She's going to ask something, I'm going to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, and that'll be it. Dead. Oh well, at least Kasumi should be done with dinner by the time I get home. That might buy me some time. I hope." By now, Ranma was in a full panic and the dojo was just ahead. Akane was waiting by the entrance. "Oh crap oh crap oh crap! Well, might as well get this over with." Ranma stopped right in front of the entrance. He was terrified. Akane was smiling.

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Well, how'd I do? Like it so far? Hate it? I have the rest of the story outlined, it's just a matter of writing it. I should update fairly soon. I'm on dialysis, so I'll probably only update when I don't feel like a pile of... well let's just say it might be sometime next week. Until then, read and review!