HI! Bet you thought I died or something, huh? Eh, prolly didn't notice...oh well, back we is, if anyone cares...ONWARD, FRIENDS AND LIARS! Here we go one more again...


Perfect to Me - Chapter 9 -

On the Airship

Cloud glared around angrily at all the friends he'd made on their journey to save the planet. They were assholes, all of them.

Except maybe Tifa, but that wasn't the important thing at this particular moment in time.

What was important was that none of them had actually checked to make absolutely sure, beyond any doubt, reasonable or not, that Sephiroth was well and truly dead.

Given, when someone falls into a pool of lifestream whilst their body disintegrates, their being dead is usually a sound assumption.

But this was Sephiroth in consideration, and this was not the first time he'd gotten up and walked away from death.

But mostly, Cloud was seriously pissed at himself. How the hell do you forget about two of your traveling companions in a crater full of not-so-friendly creatures? Not the most leader like thing he'd ever done, that was for certain.

And now, according to Vincent, who, no matter how much Yuffie begged was unlikely to go along with an elaborate plan to get him to come back to the Northern Crater for a picnic, had said that not only was Sephiroth alive and well, he also had Yuffie in tow.

Personally, it was Cloud's opinion that considering who exactly he'd nabbed, they could probably just stay put and Sephiroth would come to them begging them to take her off his hands.

However he hadn't voiced this thought as he had a sneaking suspicion that the others wouldn't find it to be the most heroic thing to do...but it still probably would have worked.

All this aside, Cloud and Company now found themselves disembarking at the top of the Northern Crater, this time looking for clues as to where the errant former General of ShinRa was headed with their airheaded ninja.

Try as he might, Cloud could only think of a 1,358 things he would rather do.

Glancing back at the others from the front of the line, Cloud decided it was probably a good time for one of those rousing pep-talks. The others were looking pretty down.

"Ok guys, I know none of us ever wanted to be here again, but here we are. No matter what kind of problems you may, and probably do, have with her, Yuffie is one of us, and we owe it to her to save her sorry butt from being a kabob. That and the fact that if we don't save her we'll probably never see all those little items that have disappeared ever since she joined us ever again."

Back at the bottom...

"Where is the dern thing!", Yuffie asked impatiently.

"Damn it, I don't have a GPS on it. It's going to take a bit of searching first. You should learn the virtue of patience", was Sephiroth's reply.

"Patience! Gawd, you're the one that should be in a rush! It's your ass they wanna skewer."

"Getting worked up only causes more problems. Stay calm and every thing works out."

"Peh, this from someone who leveled a village because he was frustrated."

Sephiroth spared her one of his famous death glares. Yuffie rolled her eyes.

They were spared an endless glaring session by what Yuffie saw out of the corner of her eye.

"HEY! Look at that!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Sephiroth said looking in the direction she was gesturing.

"What's that shiny thingy? It looks like materia to me, and I know my materia!"

She grabbed the small sphere from a pile of rocks that had fallen in the fight. "HA! I knew it! It's your materia."

Sephiroth was looking rather bewildered. "How, pray tell, did you do that?"

"I told you I know my materia! I'm like a freakin' bloodhound."

"Without a doubt. Only you make better looking company. Though I do wonder if perhaps a bloodhound wouldn't present more stimulating conversation."

"Gee, thanks. I don't know if I should be flattered by the first part or kick your ass for the second."

"Save yourself the trouble and take it as a compliment. Now hand it over."

"Maybe that's not such a good idea. You kinda have a tendency to hurl small planets when you have it..."

"I only did that once."

"That's more than most people ever manage."

"Well forgive me for being an overachiever."


"That was uncalled for. I am truly hurt by your amazing wit."

"I know...I'm just that gooooooooooooooooooooooOHMYGAWDWHAT'STHAT?!. I think we're in trouble now."

"What?" However, Sephiroth quickly discovered that asking was not necessary as he saw exactly what was the trouble as a bullet zipped by in extremely close proximity to his head, relieving him of a few silver strands of hair.

Sephiroth watched the gossamer treads fall then arrogantly looked up at Vincent and the rest of the group perched upon a rock ledge about 15 feet above him and in typical baddass fashion snidely said, "Missed."

"If I had been aiming for a kill I would have gotten it."

"So what was that, a practice shot? Do you want a do over? I think you only get those in teeball."

"You are extremely daring for someone with his cranium in a cross-hair."

"I try not to sweat the small stuff."

"Yuffie are you alright?" Tifa called out, effectively ending the verbal duel the two were engaged in.

"I'm fine," she replied, smiling placidly, "How are you?"

Sephiroth slapped his hand up to his forehead and gave Yuffie an exasperated look to which in reply she shrugged "Heh, force of habit I guess."

"Just no talking alright. I can handle it. Be quiet, while grownups are speaking."

Yuffie stuck her tongue out at him. Sephiroth pretended not to notice and turned back to the now rather discombobulated group of miss-matched fighters. "Has she always been like this, or is it just for me?" he asked Cloud.

"Nope, that's just Yuffie being Yuffie. Congratulations, you captured an attention deficient ninja. I'm sure that makes for a great partner for a genetically engineered bio-freak, but if you're finished with her, we do take returns on undamaged merchandise, so if you just hand her over we can commence kicking your ass once more, hopefully for good this time, and then we can all go home. All of us but you of course."

"That was cheap." Sephiroth said, "Really cheap. I don't make jokes about your origins. Well except for maybe a few times, but that doesn't count. Besides that, you're supposed to be the nice guy hero. It's my job to say hurtful things. Also, I believe I will be hanging on to the little ADD ninja for a while. She amuses me. Now if you will excuse us, we have other business to attend to, and I could do without the cornucopia of morons following me. Yuffie, will you please come hither?"

"Uh, sure," she said, walking over beside him.

Sephiroth put his arm around her and hovered above the ground a few feet, then looked smugly at Cloud and said, "I do wish to continue this conversation and our little fight at a later date, but don't bother looking for us, I'll find you when I finish my errands. After all you shouldn't be hard to find, you have a tendency to make more racket than a gaggle of angry Chocobos. I promise to take good care of the klepto, you needn't worry. Until next time, have fun."

With that, Sephiroth (with Yuffie in tow, who was happily waving goodbye to Tifa), took off out of sight just in time to avoid a nasty confrontation with, and of course leave Cloud to deal with, an adverse collection of monsters who were rather perturbed at all the commotion in the dwelling.

End Chapter 9

Well, that took forever and a day. I hope to Yevon someone actually got some sick form of entertainment from that. Thank you all for your patience and I do apologize for the wait. Thank you - Med