Books, cuts, and wandless magic?

It had been three days since he was back at the Dursley's. They had locked him in his room again this year. Fortunately, this time they had let him keep his trunk with him. Out of sheer boredom, Harry had started reading his school book from year 1-5 and other extra books Hermione had provided him. Since that fateful night at the ministry Harry had worked hard (and alone) on oclumency and it had ten folded his concentration. He had read every single book except 2 in the space of 3 days.

The Durley's had brought him a glass of water per day that they slipped under the cat flap Vernon had installed before the summer. He slowly picked up a book Hermione had given him The Magic Within He opened the first page and started reading

Wandless magic is some magic deep inside. Very few wizards have the gift, it is very hard to master and ask for complete concentration. Wandless magic is highly useful for it is unditeclible magic. To test if you have the gift in wandless magic take on object in the room, visualize it flouting from the ground. This is the simplest spell of wandless magic with the exception of summoning which every wizard should be able to perform with the gift or not.

Harry set the book aside and took Dudley's broken remote controlled air plain. He cleared his mind of every thought and visualized the object flying around the room. The plain slowly lifted from the ground and started zooming threw the room. For another hours Harry kept on reading and trying different spells. He had mastered almost every spell he could do with his wand wandlessly at the end of the day. He transfigured his bed smaller but longer and more comfortable when he glimpsed at the shining bade.

All the memories that haunted him came crashing back on his shoulders. His breathing became unsteady and his body started shaking. He carefully moved forward and picked up the beautiful dagger. How it got their, he didn't know, his will to feel pain was so high that he had conjured it without realizing. He pressed it against his skin and felt the coldness of the blade on his skin. He shivered and pressed deeper until blood starting flowing out of his body. His whole body screamed for more and he could do nothing more than to obey. I deserve it more than anyone; I deserve the pain, the undying shame. I can never be the world's saviour for I'm only a fucking useless freak he thought while placing many deep scars on his skin.

He hid the dagger in a loose foot board when he heard footstep coming to his room. With a flick of his hand all the blood had been cleaned and his arm was left with many red scars. The locks clicked open and the large form a Vernon Dursley opened the door. He looked questioningly at the boy that was awkwardly sitting on the floor. "Get up and write to those fuckin freaks of yours" Vernon snapped before throwing a pencil and paper at the boy "I'll be back in an hour you'd better be done with it"

Harry looked at the paper and got lost in thoughts. Fifteen minutes later he started writing a letter to Remus the only one in the order he felt like talking to. An hour and a half later Vernon was back looking ready to kill. "Give me the stupid letter" Harry complied and watched his uncle read the letter.

Dear Remus,

I could tell you that I'm feeling great but that would be a lie. I am very sorry for going their that night and their is no explanation a can give you for that. I really wanted to know how you were copping. I know you really cared about him, as I do and I wish that things happened differently he was my family... On a brighter note the Dursley's are great. I can eat with them watch T.V and even have a walk if I want to. I never felt so at home. I wanted to know if I could write once a week instead I'm not in a writing mood these days


Vernon looked at Harry suspiciously. "Who is He and what happened THAT night?"

Harry stared at the ground not answering. He didn't want his uncle to know, to give him this ultimate weapon against him. Vernon grabbed Harry by the collar and threw him on the wall with a loud thud. "Answer me! BOY!" Vernon yelled

Harry felt tears in his eyes but fought against them. "Nothing happened Uncle Vernon" Harry whispered

Vernon kicked him in the stomach repeatedly. Harry was used to Vernon hitting him when he passed but never did he beat him like this. "Don't lie to me you, you FREAK" Vernon screamed anger and disgust clear in his voice.

Harry swallowed a lump in his throat before answering "He is my godfather and he..." Harry's voice started trembling, "He died" It hit him like a rock. Never had he said it out loud since it had happened. He hadn't really accepted it and to say it made it even more real.

"Your murderous godfather has been executed I see" Vernon said in a mocking tone

Harry's inside started to burn with anger "No!" He made a hand movement and Vernon went trashing to the wall "He was innocent! He died, because of me, it's all my fault" Harry let himself fall on the ground "It's my fault that she killed him"

"The murderer got murdered how ironic" Vernon whispered before realizing that Harry had used magic "You are not loud to use magic out of school! You'll get expelled of thet freak place you call a school!"

Harry laughed though it was empty of all emotion "Oh but I can Uncle Vernon..." Vernon stood up took the letter and shoved Hedwig outside with it before half running out of the room and locking it.

Harry opened the loose flat board and took out the green, silver and blood stained dagger. He wandlessly cast a spell on the dagger and all the old blood was cleaned away. He eagerly pressed the blade on his non-scarred arm. He wrote the letter F on his wrist, then going upwards the letter r, e, a, and at last the letter k. his arm was now graced with the unbearable word freak.

I know that my chapters aren't long but don't worry it will come. This is my very first fic so read and review!!