---If anyone wonders where this came from... I do not know... I just started writing and this came out...

Disclaimer: I own nothing... I do not even think I own my mind anymore

Warnings: blood... Ryou and his insane thoughts... Death...

Notes: it is in the point of view of Ryou---

Myself

By: Laria Kaiba

It was cold...

This comes as no surprise. I shiver, not bothering to crawl under the covers of my bed. It was always cold... I was always cold. Maybe I am just crazy, or my body temperature was out of whack... Maybe.

I do not really mind the cold. I am very used to it by now. The cold, the darkness... and being alone. I am not like a normal teenager. I have no family, no friends... no one but myself. Myself and my other. Those that knew about the spirit call it my Yami. I do not call him that though; I do not like to think that it is a matter of dark and light. After all Yugi and Pharaoh are not "dark and light".

Pharaoh called Yugi his Aibou... I do not like to associate the spirit with that either. We are farthest from "partner" or "companion" then anything. Sure, I do not put up much resistance to him... Not anymore. Nevertheless, that still does not qualify us as partners.

There was a time I used to fight back. Its no use... he always wins in the end. In addition, it always just makes it worse for everyone else. That is why I isolate myself from... everybody. The less I know the person, the less I have to worry when there gone. Life is better that way. Why does anyone need friends... they just get in the way. Uh oh... I am starting to think like my other again.

I still go to school... my other thinks of it as a waste of time. It might be, but those few hours out of this place is enough to keep me sane... for the most part. I am quiet so most leave me alone. Only Yugi and those others that hang around him bother me... can they not see I am perfectly happy alone... probably not. Yugi is so naïve... he does not know he is better off not knowing me.

...hikari...

I can hear him whispering in the back of my thoughts. Hikari... I hate it when he calls me that. He does it to mock me... you would not tell by his tone, but he is. He of all people knows I am not even close to being a "light". I am tainted; there is not an innocent bone in my body. It is funny that they think I am innocent... do they not know you cannot read a book by its cover.

Sure, I could dress and act as I really am... but where's the fun in that. Moreover, there has to be some way to distinguish me from my other, right?

...precisely...

A voice whispers... I was not sure if it was he or I. It is becoming harder and harder to determine where me ends and were he begins. I sometimes wonder if I just made him up... perhaps, I really am crazy. I have wanted some one like me so badly I just invented someone.

...aw hikari, you know that is not true...

Can I not dream? I hear him chuckle. No, I can dream all I want, he is there... I did not invent him and he will never go away. Not that I want him to or anything.

...why would you want to? I am the only one that knows you, understands you... loves you...

I close my eyes; his words echo though my mind. I try to picture a real individual talking to me... not just a voice in the back of my mind. Nothing happens so I lay there enjoying the darkness behind my eyes... all I could ever want, all I could ever need. The dark. My dark.

...my hikari...

I open my eyes. He says he loves me, but still he mocks me with that name. Even though I hate it, I never complain... does that also makes me crazy... yes. Yes it does. And to love him back... his mocking, his hatred, his pain... no one could understand that, cause it's different.

Just because you are not like everyone else, you are crazy. That is how it is... Some one doesn't have any friends so they make there own, crazy... some one likes pain with no one to inflict it so they do it them self, crazy... some one loves the dark and the cold so much that's all they know...

...I don't think you're crazy...

I smile.

...so what are your plans for tonight, hikari...

I had not thought about it. Perhaps I will go out for a drink... I am somewhat thirsty.

...sounds like fun...

I got up and grabbed my jacket. I slipped it on as I stepped out into the cool summer air. I buttoned one of the buttons and slipped my hands in my pockets. Even if it was summer, it was still cold. I slowly start to walk down the street.

It must be later then I thought... I walk around for a good hour without seeing anyone. I am just about to give up and head home when I see a figure moving in the ally next to me. I stop and try to see who or what it is; the only light around is from the street lamp a few feet away. There was a woman leaning against the wall, one look and I could tell she was a hooker... I bet even Yugi could tell that.

...time to rid the world of some filth...

"Hey there cutie" she said walking over to me "You out looking for a good time?"

"You could say that"

He was in control now. I could see the faint glow from the Millennium Ring hidden under my shirt. It got darker around us... The Shadow Realm. That woman could not see what was going on... what was in store for her. She stopped in front of us, he smirked. He pulled the blade I had hidden in my back pocket.

"What the fuck you thinking?"

"No one said that you were going to have a good time"

She made to run but he grabbed her. She screamed and tried to get away, he tightened his grip.

"You can scream all you want, Girl. We are in the Shadow Realm... No one will hear you"

In her confusion she must have forgotten that she was being held by a psychotic white haired man with a knife.

"T-the... the Shadow Realm?"

"Oh, I could waste my time explaining it to you, but landlord has school tomorrow... I would feel so bad if he was to fall asleep because he was out to late..."

She looked even more confused. I was getting restless; it had been a while since I had some blood. He senses this, quickly putting the blade to the woman's throat. She tensed up and stopped moving completely. He quickly slit her throat; she fell lifelessly to the ground. I feel my heart jump as the red liquid starts to form a small pool.

He knees down beside the body running his tongue over the deep wound. I can feel the warm liquid in my mouth, I can taste it. He lets me have control again and I take in as much as I can.

...it is not as good as yours is...

I sit up, licking blood up my lips. Yeah, mine was better. She was a hooker... it would not surprise me if she did drugs... she probably smoked and drank a lot too. I pulled a small vial out of my pocket. Save some for later.

...time to feed the shadows...

I stood up, the Ring glowing brightly though the darkness. Lost spirits swirled around me... protected by the light the spirits went after the body. It was only a matter of seconds before it was gone... all off it. I stuff my hands back in my pockets and head home.

I lay on my bed... am I sleep yet? Wait... my brain would not be thinking if I were... right?

...open your eyes hikari...

I sigh... I was never going to get any sleep tonight. I opened my eyes and nearly jumped out of my skin. He was standing in front of me. I had never seen him before... not the real him anyway. He was older, but his hair was shorter then him. He was tan too... he did used to live in Egypt after all. He also had three scars on his cheek.

Wait a second!

How was it possible for him to be here... I was his body.

...with every body the shadows consume I grow stranger...

I watched him as he sat down on the edge of my bed. I pulled my knees to the chest; wrapping the blanket around me... it was cold again.

...it is only a matter of time before I am in complete control...

That cannot happen... can it? This is my body; he is just a spirit... is he not?

...oh hikari... I am much more then a spirit... I am a curse... a virus...

I can stop him... He feeds on bodies, right? Well all I have to do is not go out anymore... at night at least.

...you cannot live with out blood forever; you are addicted to it...

He crawled closer to me.

...like I am addicted to you...

I could see my breath it was so cold. It just was not me... I am not that crazy. What am I talking about... of course I am crazy. There is a Tomb Robber sitting on my bed... his hot breath on my frigid skin.

...do not worry, Landlord, I will still keep you around...

My thoughts flash back to earlier that night.

... I am the only one that knows you, understands you... loves you...

He whispered that to me again... biting down on my neck.

...your mine hikari...

My eyes shot open. It was all a dream... I look over at the clock next to me. I got up slowly making my way towards the bathroom to get ready for school. I stop in front of the mirror... there was a bite mark on my neck. I gently run my fingers over it... It was not a dream.

...you always did have the best blood, and it's all mine...

------------------------------------