Let It Be
Disclaimer: It will be a cold day in hell when I own either Harry Potter or the rights to the Beatles music.
"When I find myself in time of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, Speaking words of wisdom, Let it be."
-The Beatles, "Let It Be"
Harry Potter wasn't normally what one might call a 'happy go lucky' person. He wasn't what most people would consider 'carefree' either. In fact, most people would consider him to be more introspective than the average person, but not so much to be overly concerned about. However, if one was to compare the Harry of a short two years ago with the Harry that was currently curled up in his bed crying one would most certainly notice something was most decidedly different. No, he wasn't more introspective, well, just a bit more. No, that wasn't it.
No, the thing that was different about Harry Potter was a look on his face that would cause many people to give a start for it was a look that many people would never associate with the Boy-Who-Lived. Surely the boy who had defeated Voldemort couldn't look like this? Could the young man who had stood up against pure evil so many times and lived to tell the tale look like this? It just wasn't possible! Surely...
Harry Potter couldn't have a look of total helplessness on his face? Could he?
But he did. The young soon-to-be a man who the whole of the wizarding world looked up to for a symbol in defiance against evil was crying in his bed, his heart wrenched with sorrows that only few people knew of, and even fewer knew he carried.
He was crying because of those he felt he held on his conscious.
He was crying because he had just lost the closest thing to a father that he ever had.
He was crying because he felt helpless against what was expected of him.
He was crying because he had no one to turn to who he could fully trust with his worries and insecurities with. Ron and Hermione? No, they would pretend to understand, but as the conversation got deeper they would realize they had no blinking idea what they were talking about. Hermione especially, who learned about the world through books, and not through experiences. Dumbledore? The idea was laughable, even more so than it would have been two years ago. His entire trust in the man had been shattered, and it would be a long time coming before it was built up again.
There was no one, not a single person, that Harry could trust himself to. The idea scared him even more so than anything Voldemort could ever throw at him could. However, there was one more thing that he was crying over. All of the previous things people would have eventually figured out. Not this final one though, for even he had admitted he never had truly shed a tear over it.
Harry Potter was crying because he missed his mother.
He was crying because he had never truly known her touch, her voice, her love, ANYTHING about what many people consider to be the singular most important aspect of a person's childhood. No, he had grown up with a cold, often-times cruel caregiver that didn't care about him the way a true mother would.
"If only Rita could see me now," Harry mumbled to himself, whipping his eyes in a vain attempt to rid them of the tears that currently filled them. Looking out the window he saw that there was a starless night and the moon brightly illuminated the sky. He was about to close his eyes when he saw a shooting star (or was it an owl?) pass under the moon and fell asleep thinking but one thing, 'I wish I could just speak with mum, if only for just one night...'
Harry looked around and noticed he couldn't make out anything surrounding him. It was all just grey mist, swirling like he was in the center of a tornado. Reaching his arm out he noticed he could feel the mist, and that it made wakes in the path of his arm.
Suddenly, the mist started to dissipate and he found himself standing in a room that looked much like the Weasley's living room, except that it looked better maintained, and perhaps a bit more roomier. He also noticed some muggle technology such as a television and a phone in the otherwise obviously magical room. Studying the room further, he noticed that the house looked like it wasn't lived in at all...like it had been abandoned.
Walking over to the fireplace where he noticed pictures where on the heart he once again noticed the obviously muggle intermixed with the obviously magical as the still photographs of the muggle world were set right besides the moving ones of the magical world. He looked closely at the photographs and was shocked when he recognized pictures that he had only seen in the photo album that Hagrid had given him after his first year at Hogwarts.
The pictures were of his parents and of himself.
He picked up a still photograph of his mother with shaking hands and was mesmerized by what he saw. He was immediately drawn into the brilliant green eyes of his mother, and then looked at her slender, and very pretty face. Over the past year he had noticed how he was beginning to slowly look less and less like his father, and more like a mixture of both of his parents. Sure, he still could be mistaken for his father's twin, but the differences, in both personality and physicality, were beginning to show as he 'grew up.' He had always had his mother's eyes, but now he was beginning to notice he also shared the same slender face of his beautiful mother. It was hard to imagine her even being related to his aunt-
"People often wondered if either Petunia or myself was in fact adopted for how different we looked from each other," came a lithe voice from behind him, causing Harry to almost drop the picture as he spun around. He was met by the sight of something that he had only seen in photographs and when Dementors came to close to him.
He was met by the site of Lily Evans-Potter. His mother.
Almost immediately Harry almost broke down at the site of her. "Mum," he whispered as he started to collapse to his knees and tears started to form in his eyes.
"Harry!" Lily said in the same tone with tears in her eyes as she rushed over to catch and embrace her only son. They stayed like that for a few minutes, just hugging each other and crying into each other's arms.
"I'm so sorry for having to leave you my beautiful baby boy," Lily whispered into Harry's hair.
"I've missed you so much," Harry answered back, crying into his mother's chest.
"I know baby, I know," Lily replied as she rubbed her hands over Harry's back.
They stayed on the floor for a few minutes longer, before Lily stood the pair up and led them to the coach that was in the room. From there they just stared at each other with tears in each of their eyes. It was Lily who once again broke the silence.
"You look so handsome," she said with a note of pride in her voice, before she said with a slight hitch in her voice, "I love you so much."
"I love you too, mum," Harry whispered back, not trusting his voice.
"I've been watching over you," Lily said, with a note of sadness in her voice, "I've been watching over you each and every day..."
With that Harry broke down once again, leaning into his mother's embrace. "How is this-this..." Harry trailed off when he couldn't find the words.
"Somewhere, someone else who was watching over you and had the power thought that you needed to see me," Lily whispered back to Harry.
Harry looked up and looked into his mother's eyes that held many yet to be shed tears and dropped his gaze as he said, "I've made so many stupid mistakes, mum."
"Harry you must stop blaming yourself," Lily responded putting her hands firmly onto his shoulders, "We all make mistakes, but you have made far less mistakes then some other people, and even if you have, no one blames you for them! No one has any less love for you! In fact, some people have even more for you now."
Harry looked back up at his mother and saw that she was once again beaming with pride.
"You have done so much my little boy, and you are going to do so much more. You are going to be the one that defeats that monster once and for all, I have no doubt that you will."
"But how? How will I mum?" Harry interrupted his mother, "I can barely keep him out of my mind now! How can I be expected to defeat him! He is so much better than me!"
"Now you listen here Harry James Potter," Lily said with a very serious voice, "I never want to hear you say that monster is better than you. You are the best human being that has ever set foot on that earth, and don't you forget it. You DO have the power to defeat him. It is all within side of you."
As she was saying that Lily put her hand on Harry's chest over his heart.
"You are powered by your emotions Harry. Learn how to use them properly and you will become one of the greatest wizards that have ever lived. Always remember the people who love you my darling son. For in them, you will find the power to overcome all other obstacles."
As Lily finished saying that, a rooster was heard in the background, singling the coming of the dawn. Both Lily and Harry stood up and looked at each other for a second, before throwing their arms around one another in a fierce hug.
"I love you mum," Harry said, as his mother and the world around him began to fade away.
"I love you to Harry," Lily said, slowly fading, "Remember, I am always with you..."
Lily put her hand over Harry's heart one final time as she and the world around Harry faded away into nothingness as he himself closed his eyes...
Harry opened his eyes and saw that it was indeed the morning. He looked out the window and heard the songbirds of the summer singing their tune and cracked a smile. He felt better than he could ever remember feeling. Sighing, he stood up and stretched, before changing into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.
He almost skipped down the stairs and out the back door of the kitchen, not even pausing to see the worried looks on his aunt and uncle's faces. He grabbed his trainers as he left the house and started to run down the street on a morning jog he had adopted every morning so he could clear his mind before the day began. He continued on down through the streets, knowing that a member of the Order was probably following his every move, until he reached a corner store that he knew would sell cigarettes to anyone, regardless of age. He had taken to buying a pack once a week, as they had somewhat calmed his emotions. He had no doubt too that people would be 'disappointed' in him, but he really didn't care.
He wanted to live for himself, and his dream had given him the strength to do so even more. Today was a new day for Harry Potter, and he would not back down anymore, not from anyone or anything.
After purchasing a pack, he made his way to a local park that he knew to be abandoned in the morning. Reaching the park, he made his way to a table that was next to a tree before sitting down and lighting up. Taking a drag, he contemplated the 'dream' that he had that night. He looked up at the sky and got a giant smile on his face.
'Thanks mum,' he thought looking up at the sky as a bird flew over his head. Suddenly, the wind picked up and the cigarette flew out of his mouth into the dirt underneath the tree. As it did, the dirt was picked up by the wind and Harry had to rub his eyes at what he saw.
The dirt looked like it had formed the visage of his mother's pretty face. Blinking, he saw the face shake his head at him before blowing away. Shaking his head and smiling once again he just stared at the spot where the dirt had just been when he noticed another pretty face emerging from the shadows.
"Wotcher, Harry," came the voice of a blue-haired Nymphadora Tonks.
"Good morning Tonks," Harry replied as the young Auror sat herself down next to him.
"Someone's in a good mood," Tonks commented as she stretched her legs out and pulled off her pair of sunglasses, "Get lucky last night?"
Harry just simply shot her a smirk. Thinking he would just keep the previous night to himself, he just replied, "Did you?"
Shooting him a wry glance Tonks simply retorted with a tired voice, "I worked the night shift at the Ministry. You think?"
Harry simply chuckled as he looked at the sky, wondering if his mother was in fact watching over him at that exact moment.
"Still smoking?" Tonks asked, startling Harry out of his thoughts as she pulled out a pack herself from her black robes and took a cigarette out.
Harry regarded the pack in his hands before throwing it in a trash bin next to the table.
"Not anymore," he said looking to the sky once more with a grin on his face.
It was indeed a new day for Harry Potter.
"And when the night is cloudy, There is still a light, That shines on me, Shine until tomorrow, Let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me, Speaking words of wisdom, Let it be"
A/n: I realize I will probably have people calling for my blood for not updating Torn Away, but let me explain. This one-shot originally started out as part of that fic (look to the end of it to be sure). I was flying a red eye from Los Angeles back to where I live (I have no clue how long it actually took, all I know was that it seemed like HOURS), while I was working on Torn Away on my laptop. I was writing a scene where Harry is longing for the guidance of his mother, when "Let It Be" came on my CD player. Next thing that I know this was written.
Hope you all enjoy my foray into the depths or Harry's mind shortly after OotP. Also, if you would be so kind, please review!