Behind the Scenes

Silver Lily looked around at the grumpy faces of her actors and actresses, smiling silkily. "Good morning everyone."

Yami no Bakura snorted.

"I hope you've all had a pleasant night's sleep." She watched closely for everyone's reaction. Most of them, like she expected, were quite pleasant.

"The beds are nice," Isis commented. "It was like sleeping on a cloud."

"More like contained mush," Malik put in. "It molded to your frame, but was still squishy no matter how far you pushed it down."

"I love his vocabulary," Yami no Yuugi whispered into Yuugi's ear. Yuugi tried to contain his chuckle, and the red slowly gracing his cheeks.

"I' wa' comfy!!!" Chibi Yuugi cooed in Silver Lily's lap. Chibi Yami had still to let go of chibi Yuugi since the night before. Even at such a young age, he had the glaring down quite well as he starred warily at the rest of the room. "One of the perks working here," Silver Lily replied. "Gourmet food for every meal, if that is what you so choose to eat, or pizza if you prefere-"

Jou gave a cry of happiness.

"Constant temperature control, more soda than you can shake a stick at –"

Malik started to look around for a stick.

"And all the booze you care to stuff down your throat."

Jou and Honda sat up in their chair. "Booze?" Jou asked. "As in beer?"

"How could you," Seto asked angrily. "What if Mokuba gets a hold of some?!"

Silver Lily waved him off. "Oh, don't worry. Mokuba won't get any. But since all of you are locked up here anyway, there's no chance of any of you wandering off into dark streets and getting raped." Yami no Yuugi snarled, sitting dangerously close to his omote. "So there's something here for everyone. Beer, schnapps, vodka, rum, whiskey, wine of all variations from red merlot to white Chablis, brandy, pucker, sake, wine coolers and mixed drinks of all kinds."

"Mud slides," Yuugi asked excitedly. Nearly every head in the room turned, aside from Jou, Honda, and Mai, who shyly looked the other way.

"Margaritas," a small voice also piped up hopefully. Now it was everyone's turn to look at, of all people, Ryou.

"Long Island Iced Teas," Isis hazarded.

"Yes, yes, and yes. But I swear, all of you are bad influences, aren't you?" Silver Lily eyed Jou and Honda harshly.

Seto Kaiba was the only one who snorted in disgust.

"Oh, don't you worry, Kaiba. We've got Moonshine, too." Hard blue eyes started to shine, just a little bit.

"What's Moonshine," Mokuba asked.

"Pure alcohol," Malik answered, triumphant with a stick in hand. "That shit makes you really sick. Smells like propane, too."

"If you're going to drink, you're going to do it the right way," Kaiba stated. "I don't mess around with frilly drinks and bitch beer."

"Bitch beer," Yami no Yuugi asked.

"Yes, as in the drinks that most bitches drink. Take Mai Kujaku for instance."

Mai snarled in Kaiba's direction.

"She loves wine coolers. Yuugi loves Mud Slides. Ryou loves Margaritas. Isis loves Long Island Iced Teas. All people who drink such things have been a bitch at one time or another."

Yami no Bakura and Yami no Yuugi both grew large canines, shadow energies beginning to buzz around the room.

"Oh, no. I don't think so. No pillaging today, children. And just remember, Kaiba, it takes one to know one. Bitch," Silver Lily replied back, snapping her fingers and causing the shadow magic to disappear from the room.

The room gave a collective 'ooh' sound, waiting for the CEO to explode. He really hated the damned authoress's silky smile.

Nothing came.

"Good boy. Now, on to the business for the day. If you think I'm a bitch, just wait until you meet my muse, Zuka. She'll be here in just a moment, there was a shipment of plot-bunnies on back order, and she's picking them up now."

"Plot bunnies," Anzu asked.

The silver haired woman grinned broadly. "Oh, they're adorable little things! They're also a blast to have on the set, too. Awesome little inspiration givers, they are. When we do some shooting for Alias of Chaos, we'll have a lot of dust bunnies running around, too. But for today, I'd like to shoot a scene from The Twelve Days of Christmas. Jou, Kaiba, Yuugi, and Yami, you four will be needed. Ishtar, you'll be needed off stage for some well-placed yelling."

Ishtar snarled, revealing a set of canines possibly as large as Jade's. At least he had managed to confiscate the knives Malik had so miserably failed at.

"And no knives on the set, Ishtar. Not unless you're preparing shish-ka-bobs for everyone over a barbeque. I sure could go for some of that right now."

Ishtar gave a very disappointed sigh.

"How does she know that stuff," Yuugi whispered to Yami no Yuugi.

"If I knew, we'd be at home right now, using chocolate in ways it wasn't originally intended." Yuugi squeaked just a little, blushing madly.

xxx

Yuugi and Yami sat on the bed that was on stage, practicing their thump twiddling as they waited for Silver Lily to come in with instructions.

"Where the hell is Kaiba," a female voice cried out angrily. "He was supposed to be here ten minutes ago!!"

A woman sitting behind the camera checked her watch, her long wavy hair glimmering yellow and aquamarine in the artificial light. Cat like marine blue eyes looked over towards the door.

Yuugi jumped when the studio doors burst open, Jou and Honda a little too happily carrying in a furiously struggling Kaiba by his ankles. "Let go of me, mutt! Tell to pointy haired freak to let me go!"

"Oh, I'd rather them not," the woman behind the camera, Zuka, stated. Using her index finger, she drew a little button in the air, undoubtedly with magic, and pushed it as it started to shimmer with golden sparks. "Paging Silver Lily. Paging Silver Lily. The escapee has been captured and detained. I repeat, the escapee has been captured and detained."

The magic button disappeared just as the silver haired woman came rushing in. "Damn it, Kaiba! You're ruining my schedule! Now stand aside, boys."

Jou and Honda moved back immediately, and just as Kaiba was about to take off, Silver Lily snapped her fingers, and Seto found him self rooted to the spot.

"There's only one way to deal with this," Yami quipped at them.

"How's that," Silver Lily inquired.

"Get him drunk!"

Kaiba looked very angry, even in his inability to move, but Silver Lily looked like she was warming up to the idea. "Good idea!" She walked up to Kaiba, opened her palm, and with a pop a glass of vodka sat in her hand. "Now, open up." Seto's mouth opened of it's own free will. "Swallow it all." Within moments the entire glass was empty. The crystal blue eyes of t he authoress gleamed with happiness. "Good job! Now all we have to do is wait."

Fifteen Minutes Later…

Kaiba giggled like a little schoolgirl, hanging on Jou's shoulder. "G-gim…heheh…gimme some oh that bitch beer," he chuckled. "G-good stuff…hehehahahah!"

Silver Lily waved at Yami and Yuugi. "Under the covers, quick! This is a sensitive scene! Our timing has to be good!"

"How's this going to work" Yuugi asked, tucking the blankets over him and Yami after the spirit slipped in next to him. Silver Lily shushed him, turning on the camera.

"Okay, Jou, now's the time to free yourself of him and run as fast as you can down the hall. After you've got him wound up, run back here. Go."

With wild, very unsure eyes, Jou wrestled out of the drunk Kaiba's grip. "W-hat the hell you dink yer do 'in?!" Kaiba barked at him. "Ge' back 'ere!" Seto gave chase as Jou disappeared out of the stage door and started running down the expansive hall. Everyone heard a collective scream race down the hall.

"This ought to be interesting," Bakura remarked.

The screaming ceased as Jou and Seto left range, leaving the stage rather quiet at the moment. "Now all right, the both of you looked over your scripts last night?"

"Aye, aye, capitan," Yami said in a peasant accent.

"Seto, leave me alone! Ishtar, help!"

Suddenly, a voice cried out from somewhere off stage. "Seto, damn it, knock it off!"

Silver Lily gave a thumb's up after Ishtar's line.

Suddenly, the screaming started to come back. Yuugi turned around and looked up at Yami, smiling warmly. Yami blinked his eyes open, starring at Yuugi dreamily. "Me-en eyet, na." He kissed the one next to him delicately.

Yuugi sighed into the kiss, but it wasn't acting. "Good morning, Yami."

Suddenly, Jou tumbled onto the set, looking frantic. "Yuugi! Seto's going absolutely bonkers! Ishtar can't get him to stop!"

"Damn it Jou, get back here!"

Yuugi sat up as Yami 'eeped!,' hiding under the covers. "Well, get in the closet if you have to! It seemed to work yesterday morning!" Yuugi yelled back, sitting up in bed. Yami 'eeped!' again.

A very drunk Seto Kaiba tumbled into the set, looking very, very angry. "Where is he," he ground out.

Yami squeaked again, and Yuugi turned and looked at him. "Yami," he asked. Suddenly, Seto began to advance. "You stay back! You'll probably scare him straight into the after life!" Yuugi yelled at him.

"Where's Jou," he growled again.

"Not here."

Seto didn't look like he believed Yuugi, and instead managed to stumble towards the closet, suddenly finding what he was looking for.

Jou squealed very loudly.

"Cut!" Silver Lily barked sharply. She moved the camera smoothly into the closet, set in on constant record, and began to creep out of the room. "We'll let those two finish up what they're doing. Great job everyone! I couldn't have had this turn out more perfectly. Yuugi; Yami; wonderful acting. I look forward to our rain scene from The Good Child. It's a steamy one."

Yuugi gave Yami a ghost of a grin, and it was very visible that Yami was sending Yuugi a message through their mind like that contained some rather explicit content.

"Yug, you can't leave me like this!" Jonouchi cried out in anguish.

Yami and Yuugi walked off the set, looking back at Jou sadly. "Sorry, pal."

Everyone else traipsed off stage, sniggering silently. "Won't the readers get a laugh to find out that Seto was actually severely drunk for this scene," Silver Lily cooed, admiring her handy work.

"I always knew Kaiba was a screwy actor," Bakura muttered, stuffing a dagger up his sleeve.

"I hope that's not Jade's," the authoress warned.

Bakura scowled. "I came equipped."

"We'll find out soon enough, won't we?" Ryou winked at Bakura in a highly sly manner, an unsettling grin gracing his features.

"We've been a bad influence on him," Malik stated, stick in hand and looking for some soda cans to shake it at. "By the way, where is all of the soda?"

Silver Lily raised an eyebrow in question. "Want to try both the kitchen and the lounge? There are little fridges all over the place."

"Hmm. Right. Be back shortly."

Malik wandered off.

"Hikari-light, wait for me!" Ishtar ran after him.

"Strange pair."

Yuugi jumped when the sound of Jade's voice spoke up behind him. Yami held on to him tightly.

"Relax, pretty boy. I'd rather not touch Yuugi if I can help it. Besides, Lily-kun would have my head if I did." He sauntered off, a large baseball bat resting over his shoulder lazily. "Oh Bakura! I know you wandered off just now. Where did you go, my pretty? I'll find you, and you're little dog, too! Mwahahahaha!!!!"

Silver Lily looked on after her yami. "You know, I'm really starting to worry about him."

xxx

Bakura marveled at his own handiwork, looking at what was behind him. The entrance to the wretched place of Silver Lily, actress-bitch incompetent, or so as the sign above her door proclaimed. The Chaos Mage was thankfully sleeping, and the dragons guarding the entrance were getting their mid-day meals.

Bakura walked out the front door, happy as he heard it close completely, and began to wander off when he realized just how cold it was. He opened his eyes.

Holy mother of Ra, herself! What the hell is this?!

The earth, bright and luminescent, sat fat and round in the evening sky. The dirt around him was gray and silver, and it struck him. This is the damned moon. Well I'll be fucked by Ryou. He walked a little while more, a wooden sign suddenly coming into view. Skeptical, he read it.

Welcome to the Dark Side of the Moon, the Light Side border, the North Node of the Moon, in Taurus.

What the hell did that mean?!

Confused and wanting greatly to get out of there, he began to run as fast as he could. The moon seemed to stretch out forever before him, and he was afraid that perhaps it wasn't ever going to end.

Boom! Fizzle, fuzzle, ffffrrrrzzzzzzztttttttttttt

"What the hell…"

It was entirely white around him, with little snaps of energy popping around him here and there. Where the hell was he now? He hated this place!

"Thought you could run, did you?"

Bakura spun around and saw none other than Silver Lily's yami Jade standing there, his huge canines glinting with malevolence.

"Poor, poor little Bakura."

"Shut up," the white haired spirit hissed. "Where in the seven hells am I?"

"Cyber space," Jade replied easily. "Where did you think you were? If you notice to your left, there are signs that direct you to the abode of other fan fiction writers. Gods above know what they'll make you do."

Bakura looked around him, indeed, seeing signs. Cloud-1-3-5 and Emi Ami Dei, Angelic Candy, Ocean, and Lizeth, take a left. Chibizoo, Nek0-chan, dillydally, and Shi-koi, go straight. Shenya, Liona Skycat, and banjodog, RyuArashi, take a right. For more choices, please move further.

Bakura shivered. Perhaps he ought to take his chances with Silver Lily. At least she gave out free booze, right?

Right?

Right???