Hey you all I have decided to write a new story about Kurama and Botan! I will update my other ones soon but I have thought of a brand new one that I hope you all will like. The first chapter of this story will hopefully be good. But I don't know if the rest will.

Well I know you guys want to read so I will stop with this constant babbling.

Thought = thought

"...." = speaking

#$#$#$#$= flashback

Note: I do not own YYH. Hopefully one day I will but till then I don't own this wonderful show or Kurama and Botan.

Chapter 1: Thoughts and a Wish

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After the Demon Tournament every thing went back to normal all the lives of the Urameshi team went back to normal.

Kurama went back to his home where his mother step father and his step brother awaited him. And what also awaited him was college. So for the past four months he has been attending college at one of Japans most prized schools. Most people would think that he had every thing a young man would want. But there was one thing missing in his new life.

Botan.

Botan was the name of the girl that Kurama had desired from the time he joined the team. The girl with the silken light blue hair and amethyst orbs had stolen his heart and won his love. He had tried to tell her of his feelings but the timing never seemed to be right since they only interacted during the dangerous assignments handed down to them by Koenma. He longed for the day his job as a spirit detective would end and he would be free to court her. But to his dismay, that day proved to be the last time he would see her. Kurama brought his gaze upright, his pensive eyes focusing upon the framed picture to his right. He stared intently at the photo, the memory of that day etched clearly within his mind. The day the spirit detectives had decided to have a picnic after Yusuke's return from Makai and the last moments he had spent with his beloved deity.

#$#$#$#$

"Hey everybody, look over here!" Yelled Keiko as she stood on the green grass beyond the sandy shoreline of a lake, a black camera clutched in her hand as she waved everyone closer. "I want to take a picture of all of us together so we can remember this day."

Why do humans bother themselves with such things? Hiei sent out telepathically to Kurama as he lay upon the branch of a nearby tree. They could just remember if they use their minds and think about it.

People like to look at pictures. Kurama sent back. Memories are triggered easier by looking at a photo than sitting down to think about it. Pictures show the emotions of what was happening at the time. Kurama added before resuming his conversation with the love of his life, though she had no idea what he felt for her. "I'm sorry Botan, but could you please repeat what you just said? I'm afraid I didn't hear that last part." He asked, as he sat on the shoreline with the deity of death.

"I was saying don't you like the view form were we are sitting?" Botan said, a small giggle escaping her throat from his unusual lapse of attention.

Kurama looked out upon the water. "Yes it's very nice. The lake here is so clear that you can see all the way to the bottom." He replied, drawing in a breath as he gathered his courage. He had to tell Botan how he felt. I guess it's now or never. The kitsune thought as he let the his breath out slowly and turned to face her. "Botan, if you do not mind me asking. Have you ever....liked someone, but were too afraid to tell that person?" He asked softly, his voice remaining even though inside his heart thumped against his chest.

Botan studied the man beside her, a surprised look upon her face. "Well ... I ..." She began, but before she could finish, Keiko's loud and happy voice overrode their conversation.

"Hey Botan! Kurama! Look here really fast!"

Both Kurama and Botan turned to look, flashing the camera a big smile as it went off before returning to their conversation.

"You were saying?" Kurama started as he eyed the deity with patient eyes.

"Well ... I have ..."

Once again they were interrupted. This time by Botan's communicator which started beeping insistently. Botan gave Kurama an apologetic smile before reaching into her pocket to retrieve the communicator. She flipped it open, the anxious features of her toddler boss popping onto the tiny screen. "What seems to be the problem Lord Koenma?" Botan asked, the disappointment evident in her voice as she waited for him to answer.

"I need you back up here right away! There is a very important letter that needs to be delivered!"

"Can't you get one of the other ferry girls to do it?"

"No I can't Botan! This letter can only be delivered by you!" Koenma yelled, eyeing Botan in irritation. "You can visit with the guys later. Right now I need you up here!"

Kurama watched the whole scene, a sudden tinge of anger filling his heart. He needed to know her answer. Needed to know if she felt anything for him at all. He better not keep her away for long. He growled inwardly, only to blink in surprise as the deity responded to her boss's request.

"I'll be there shortly Lord Koenma." Botan answered, closing the communicator and stuffing it back in her pocket before rising to her feet.

"I'm sorry Kurama," The deity began, watching as Kurama rose to stand beside her. "I'll have to answer your question later." She added, holding her hand out to the side, an oar appearing out of nowhere.

Wait! Don't go! The kitsune wanted to say but kept his thoughts to himself as he asked, "But you'll be back soon won't you?"

Botan flashed him a smile and nodded. "Of course. Could you please tell the others that I had to go?"

"I will." Kurama replied, watching with saddened eyes as the deity mounted her oar.

"Thanks! I'll see you later!" Botan yelled, waving to the red haired man as she took off into the clear blue sky and away from him.

Kurama returned her wave, his heart growing heavy as he watched her disappear. Come back to me soon, Botan. I have to tell you how I feel.

#$#$#$#$

Kurama closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. Botan had not returned that day. He had asked the other detectives if they had heard from her but sadly no one had seen or spoken to her. The kitsune had been tempted to go up to Reikai and visit her but he didn't want to get her in trouble. After all he wasn't really a detective anymore, therefore he had no business entering the spirit realm. And Koenma would probably not welcome my presence anyway. He added mentally, suspecting that the toddler lord knew full well his feelings for the head ferry girl and did not approve of his attention towards Botan.

That didn't stop him from dreaming though. Even though he hadn't seen her in over four months, he remained hopeful that she would come to him. That some pressing matter required the detectives attention. Some impending threat only they could take care of. And when that day occurred he vowed to spill his heart to her. That he loved and desired her and would never let any harm befall her.

Maybe today my sweet deity will come. Kurama thought, day dreaming about his beloved, ignoring the schoolwork sprawled across his white student desk. He sensed a familiar chi suddenly, his features becoming impassive as he looked back down to his work.

A blur of black materialized in front of Kurama's apartment window, morphing into the small frame of his best friend, Hiei.

Silent as a shadow, the fire demon slid open the window and rested upon the window sill.

"Hiei, it is nice to see you again. But you could have used the door you know." Kurama spoke flatly, his eyes still glued to the work in front of him.

"Hn." The fire apparition sounded as he hopped off the sill and onto the kitsune's wooden floor. "This way is much convienant than going through a building filled with idiotic humans." Hiei replied.

Kurama frowned, taking slight offense at his friend's open disdain for humans. "In case you forgot Hiei, although I have the soul of a Youko, I also possess the body of a human. " He chided the smaller man." And it is as a human I have found my place in this world. Besides," He added with an amused smile as he turned to face his friend. "Your sister loves Kuwabara who is a human so we can't all be that bad can we?"

Now it was Hiei's turn to frown. "You forgot something Kurama," He said in a low tone, pausing to make sure his friend was paying attention.

"And what would that be?" Kurama asked as he turned to his homework once again.

"That you also possess the weak emotions humans seem to fall prey to. Like the love you feel for the bubbled head ferry girl." Hiei answered with a smirk. The fire apparition was the only one who knew of Kurama's feelings towards Botan and although he had promised not to tell anyone, he loved to use it against the kitsune whenever he mentioned Yukina and Kuwabara.

When Kurama heard Hiei's little comment about Botan his eyes flickered gold. He hated when people made fun of Botan. Even though she acted like a ditz, the kitsune knew very well she was anything but. Her bubbly nature was a facade to hide the loneliness Kurama could feel emanating from the depths of her heart and soul.

Loneliness.

Kurama knew what it was to been lonely.

In his life as Youko, Kurama did not have relationships of any kind. He trusted no one, his only real thrill in life being the theft of priceless treasures that belonged to others. He would kill without hesitation, for no other reason than he was bored or if someone had dared to trespass upon his territory. And in between the times he had let his bloodlust overrun his reason, he had sought company in the arms of one of the many females that lived within Makai. Promising them nothing beyond the pleasure of a one night stands. He did not know what it was to love or to trust.

But that was the past. He was not that cold hearted thief anymore. He was human now. And what he wanted was to love and be loved.

And although he loved Botan, he still knew very little about her past. What had she done before becoming a ferry girl. Who were her family? Had she ever loved someone before? And what did she feel towards him?

None of the spirit detectives knew anything about Botan's past beyond the fact that she was a ferry girl under the employ of Koenma. Kurama had even gone so far as to ask Hiei to sneak into Botan's mind but the fire demon could not gain access. She would not allow it. This led the kitsune to wonder what the deity was hiding.

Still, whatever it was, he loved her and would not tolerate her being insulted, whether in jest or not.

"She has a name Hiei and I would prefer you use it or else I will wipe that smirk off your face with my fist." Kurama said in a low voice that belonged to Youko, turning to face his best friend once again.

A pleasing smile erupted on the fire demon's face. "It seems that I have brought out the infamous thief, Youko. How nice it is to hear from you." He replied in mild amusement as he walked closer to Kurama. "So you also have feeling for the ferry girl do you Youko?"

"Suuichi and I are one in the same. We both desire the same thing which is Botan." Youko whispered in a low deep voice. "If you call Botan by that name again I will make sure you'll never be able to speak again."

"You know you should have told Botan that you loved here before we all went our separate ways," Hiei said indifferently though inside he felt somewhat sorry for the kitsune. "Most likely you will never see her again."

Gold faded from Kurama's eyes, his features growing pained as he turned away. "Please do not remind me Hiei. I am not in the mood for hearing the truth of the matter." He said, unable to hide the hurt that coursed through body and soul. Please come back to me Botan. I need to see you. He thought with a heavy heart as he stared off into the distance, wondering what had become of his beloved deity.

&%&%&

Botan sat quietly inside her room within Koenma's palace, her heart full of a sadness that could not be consoled. A sadness that stemmed from the fact that she was in love with Kurama and had never told him.

Botan had been drawn to the handsome red head ever since the day she met him over three years ago. At first it had been a physical attraction. And one could hardly blame her. No woman in her right mind could ignore the ethereal features of the kitsune. They would have to be blind, deaf and dumb not to feel an immediate attraction to such a man as Kurama. He made her heart light and content whenever she was around him. He was so well mannered and kind. Selfless and caring. Everything a woman could ask for. And as she grew to know him, her infatuation blossomed into feelings of love.

And lately.

Lately she had been thinking about him non stop. Her dreams filled with images of the two of them together. She wanted those dreams to become reality. To not only be his friend but his lover and lifemate as well.

But alas Botan was too afraid to tell Kurama of her love for him. She was afraid of being rejected and Botan did not want to have that pain on her sholders. She already carried more pain than any person should have to in their lifetime.

"Oh Kurama, why can't I tell you of how I fe el?" Botan whispered in frustration, looking down at the picture clutched firmly in her hand. The entire spirit detective team beamed back at her. A moment frozen in time. A moment the deity wished she could have back. She studied the faces of her friends.

Botan missed everyone so much. She missed the way Yusuke and Kuwabara would argue over stupid things and have a friendly fight over it. She missed her best friends Keiko, Yukina, and Shizuru. And the way they would have there girl chats about the boys and stuff like that. Botan even missed the way Hiei would insult Kuwabara and call him names such as moron, idiot, and carrot top.

But of them all it was Kurama she missed the most. Her tear filled eyes moved across the photo, resting upon the smiling red haired man she loved. With a shaky hand, the deity reached out, tracing the countours of his face with her index finger. God how she wanted to see him. How she wanted to tell him the truth of her heart. But she didn't get that chance. When she had arrived back to Reikai, Koenma had informed her she was to never see her friends again. When she had pressed him on the issue he had told her that since the detectives were no longer under his employ, they were no longer Reikai's concern. Botan had tried to plead her case but Koenma would not listen. When she had mentioned Kurama, he had become very agitated and threatened to punish the red head if she ever went to see him again. Fearing for her would be love, she had relented, obeying her boss's order. But that didn't stop the feelings she had for the kitsune. She wanted to see him. Needed to see him. "Why didn't I tell you when I had the chance!" Botan cried as the tears fell fell down her angelic face. Tears that spoke of the pain she felt. She had made a mistake. And now I don't know if I can ever fix it!

A sudden knock erupted at her door, startling Botan who reached up to wipe away her tears, sniffling as she spoke. "Come in."

&%&%&

Well I left it at a cliffie I guess you could say. Man this is one of the best fics I have ever wrote. I am going to write the next chapter for my other stories soon. I will be in Wisconsin for a little while, but I will try to write up there.

I hope you all liked this fic. I worked very hard on this story.

Please drop me some reviews for this first chapter okay? Oh and if you want to be a part of this fic just review with this info in it. Oh and I need mostly demon who are guys. Oh and you will be fighting for Botan's love in this fic. So you should most likely be a Botan fan.

Demon:

Looks:

Attacks:

Evil or Good:

Well that's all from me hope you all liked this fic. I hope you also help me with this fic too!

By the way I would like to make a shout out to JDFielding. Thanks to her for reading over this chapter and fixing all the mistakes in it for me. I am in you debt!

Oh and you all out there should go read her fic 'After the Fall' its one of the best out there. I give it 5 stars. It makes you think that you are actually watching an episode of YYH.

So give it up for JD!

Bye!