A New Viewpoint. Part One.

by Adrian Tullberg.

Kyle swallowed, the metal wall cold on his back, the Batman's gaze less than half an inch away from his own.

It now appeared that Batman had several different settings to his infamous 'Look'. There was the standard 'I'm Batman, and God help you if you screw up' that Kyle had received ... well, every single time Batman looked at him to be honest.

Now Kyle was receiving 'You have screwed up, so I will now demonstrate that the whole reason for that 'no killing' policy was to show in explicit detail to screwups like you how creative I can be'.

"Tell me Kyle."

"Ah … sorry?"

"Tell me what you did after you acted during that bombing in New York."

I saved fifty-three lives. At least. Cut me some slack.

"Ah … I met a bunch of guys in the group I saved. Nice guys. They invited me for a drink … you know, the imported kind of beer?"

The Batman remained silent. Kyle couldn't tell if he was blinking – or breathing.

"They wanted to do me a favour … and I didn't need what they offered, but … I thought … you. You could get the kind of favour they were offering?"

I was helping you. You Bats.

"Describe. Who they are."

"Oh, you … you wouldn't know them."

The sweat trickled down Kyle's eyes.

"They work in entertainment. TV. They … they work … host some little cable TV show …"

"The show?"

"You … probably don't watch it …"

Kyle knew. Knew that Batman knew.

And said the five words that condemned him.

"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."

"You told the hosts of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy I needed their … help."

"They'll keep it quiet. They promised!"

Batman decided that he hadn't the time to educate the young man in the ways of the creature known as the modern media personality. "I'll have to deal with this later …"

"Er …"

Something in the Green Lantern's tone told Batman that there was more information that desperately needed spilling.

"… I might have said something … along the lines … of …"


"… your real name?"

Batman started mentally counting the number of ways he could break an adult male's fingers.

"And … Alfred said when I called him that now would be the best time for the guys to come over …"

Batman stopped count at nine and started running to the teleport bank.

Kyle's legs gave way, and he collapsed to the ground. Another trip in space sounded very appealing right now …