Author's Note: Hello again! Or not again, for those of you who haven't read my other fics. Well, this is just a short little fic that I decided to do a couple of weeks ago. I'm actually not sure how many parts this is going to have, I had originally planned on 4, but now I'm rethinking it.

Disclaimer: Furuba does not belong to me. insert witty comment here (I'm too lazy to think of one right now.)

Warnings: Minor angst, I think that's about it.

Kyo's thoughts will be italicized.


Always Watching, Always Waiting

I Don't Deserve Her


Setting: On the roof, wind whipping the shingles. Kyo is crouching near the chimney, brooding.


Kyo's POV

That damn rat. Would he ever leave Tohru alone? He always spent so much time with her. She was always at his "secret base", or sharing something new she had learned at school that day. It's almost as if he was rubbing the fact that he was always in her company in my face.

I wouldn't be surprised though, if he did- he reveled in their camaraderie. Whenever it looked like Tohru and I were getting closer, he always had to come along and ruin it. The way that damn Yuki looked at Tohru-kun… it just made me want to hurt him. Badly.
I clenched a fist angrily.

How many times should I try and fail, only to realize she could never be mine? If anyone was close to captivating her, it was that rat, as much as I loathe admitting it. I didn't deserve her, but that didn't mean that I would just deliver her into his hands… that is if I had her to deliver in the first place.

Her radiance, her soft yet flawless beauty, her sensitivity and creative flair, her passion for doing even the simplest tasks impeccably- she lit even my heart up. My heart- solitary, lonesome, and isolated. She was my comfort in the silent, dark hours when I felt afraid and forsaken, the brightness I looked forward to when she was home, and the solace I could exalt in while I was in her presence.

Tohru was just so considerate of everyone around her- I wasn't used to people trying to understand and talk to me. Of course, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary to anyone else in the Sohma household either- she tried to make Yuki and Shigure as relaxed as possible around her as well.

Yuki. Although he was my cousin, I just couldn't bring myself to respect him as a friend, let alone love him as a brother. It pained me to see longing in Tohru's eyes; I knew how badly she wanted Yuki and me to accept each other for who we were. But even if I tried, I know he would just reject me, and I wasn't ready for yet another person to forsake me.

He was the only thing that stood between me and my ability to join the Sohma family clan… Besides. How could I defeat him if we were friends?
Ping. Ping. Ping. Someone was climbing up the ladder on the side of the house, and I only knew one person who would. Presently, I heard a cheery, yet worn out voice shout to me.

"Kyo-kun! I've brought you some dinner, but I'm afraid I might have spilled some on the way up… I'm so sorry! Here, let me go get you a thermos." She mumbled to herself, "I know that a thermos won't spill… but what if it drops…?" "Tohru. It's fine. Don't overexert yourself," I heard myself saying, rather brusquely.

I winced inwardly. I hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but after all those years of conditioned responses… well, maybe Tohru could help me get over my old habits. But for now I would sit and ponder our relationship (or absence of one), and contemplate how to get rid of that rat, once and for all.



A/N: Thanks to my beta, Aftertaste of a Razorblade! I had ::counts:: 6 mistakes before she corrected it. (The dangers of not having a beta, so I suggest you go out and... well, not buy one... uh... GET ONE TO VOLUNTEER! That's it! ')

So, please review! It would make me ever so happy.