Summary: Jess's thoughts as he boards the plain for California

Rated: PG-13

Disclaimer: Not mine. No sue. Yargh.

Thanks to Mai and Elise for lookin!

A Bird's Worst Nightmare

A bird's worst nightmare is a broken wing.

I can't believe that's what I'm thinking about now.

I guess it's better than the alternatives.

I look out the airport window. All I focus on is the bird that obviously got caught in a jet engine of the plane that's just landed. It's flapping around, struggling to get off the ground.

But...

It just...can't.

I can identify. I've felt like that for so long now.

Grounded.

Trapped.

But I'm getting away now.

If I could get that damned bird out of there, I would. It's given up now; lying there, picking at its wounds. Ignored.

A second glance out the window, and someone has taken pity and carried the bird off the runway.

Huh.

I don't know.

I don't know what'll happen to me.

I'm following a guy that I've met twice in my eighteen-year existence. A guy who I was supposed to have known my whole life. A guy who walked out on me. Twice.

Two is a popular number.

I'm following him in search of greener pastures... or less muddy ones at the very least.

I'm leaving everyone and everything I've ever known to follow someone I really don't know to a place I've never been.

It's... freeing... mostly.

Luke will be disappointed. Rory will probably hate me. But this isn't about them.

I need something different.

There has to be something different, right? This can't be all there is for me, can it?

I hope not, because they're starting to board and there isn't much of a chance to change my mind.

This is selfish.

This is wrong.

This is mean.

And sad... somehow.

But as far as I can tell, it's my only option.

The line's moved considerably and before I know it I'm at the front. I take one last look around me, hand the flight attendant my boarding pass, and get on the plane.

I wonder what Rory's doing. I wonder if she'll miss me. I wonder if I'll ever see her again.

I don't know.

I take a window seat and buckle up.

God, I just don't know.