[A/N: hey everyone, this is going to be the fanfic that ends all fanfics (or at least mine anyway...) the words that are in the italics are songs that kind of relate to whatever the situation is. just a lil note :)
BTW, just in case you don't know, I'm gonna be writing all in Cindy's POV]
5:46 pm, Tuesday, April 6th
The rain was coming down hard outside when I was on my way home. It's April and as they say "April showers bring May flowers". They were right... It was warmer this morning though. I wore my flare denim capris and a pink halter top that said "Cutie". My feet, my poor feet were wearing pink flip- flops. Then later in the day it started raining and it hasn't stopped since.
When I was walking home I saw Jimmy walking home on the other side of the street. It's driving me crazy because now he's got a girlfriend! Jimmy Neutron! With a girlfriend! Before I even got a boyfriend! But Jimmy's really changed in the past 5 years. He's gotten taller; he's finally taller than me. He cut his hair a little bit and doesn't gel it up anymore. He lets it hang down kind of skater-ish-ly. He's kind of turned into a skater boy, minus the skating. I think he's still working on that. He wears Vans and baggy jeans and big T-shirts now. I guess it isn't too surprising that he has a girlfriend now. Jimmy and I have grown out of our immature relationship we had back in elementary school. We're friends now, I mean, we talk on the phone and all but we aren't as close as I wish we were...
Oh, did I mention that his girlfriend is BETTY QUINLIN? Ugh, I can not stand her. She thinks she's so beautiful and that every guy in school wants to go out with her. It gets on my nerves so bad! There's only one good thing about her. She goes out with Jimmy. Of course, that isn't the best news for me. I'm really starting to have a crush on Jimmy...
::Maybe silly for me to feel this way about you and her, cuz I know she's been a good friend. I know she has helped you through.
Talkin late on the phone, every night you've been callin. Private moments alone, could your heart soon be fallin. And I know she's a friend, but I can't shake the feeling. That I could be losing your heart...
I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend. Although she's just a girl that is your friend, I think I'm jealous of your girlfriend. She shares a special part of you....::
Nick's been buggin me lately, trying to get me to go out with him. I used to like him a lot but I don't really anymore. He's gotten so obnoxious and full of himself that I can't even stand to be around him anymore. Yet all the bimbos in our class swoon whenever he says one single word. It's enough to make someone want to throw up.
Libby and Sheen recently started going out together. The day after tomorrow is their 1 month anniversary. It's kind of a weird situation for me, my best friend going out with the best friend of my crush and my crush going out with someone I hate...now if Jimmy were going out with me, then everything would be fine.
Now I'm lying here in my room, staring over at my vanity with all my make- up on it. My books are on my desk along with a few cups and a plate with remnants of little bits of food I didnt finish last night.7:24 pm, Tuesday, April 6th
I ate dinner at 6. It was just macaroni really. Nothing important but it was good. Got off the computer a little while ago. I was talking to Libby on AIM but then she invited me and Sheen into a chat and her and Sheen took over. I just X-ed out and talked to other people. I got an IM from Jimmy. I was kind of feeling morose and didn't feel up to talking to him but I replied back to him anyway.
sk8erwannabe: hey cindy, sup?
sk8erwannabe: u there?
sk8erwannabe: wut r u doin?
bluefizzies:nothing, i just finished eating
sk8erwannabe: goddard wants to send u a message. that ok?
bluefizzies:um, sure bluefizzies:ok
sk8erwannabe WANTS TO DIRECTLY CONNECT
sk8erwannabe IS NOW DIRECTLY CONNECTED
MetalMouthK9: I am your father
MetalMouthK9: i have run away if you want to see me again, bring every scrap of metal that i own to---
sk8erwannabe IS NO LONGER DIRECTLY CONNECTED
sk8erwannabe: sorry about that
sk9erwannabe:i didnt know he was gonna act dumb
bluefizzies:lol its ok
sk8erwannabe: sooo...whats up
sk8erwannabe:ok. um, i g2g
sk8erwannabe: going out with some friends
bluefizzies:yeah ok bye
I signed off and got up from my computer. I didnt want to have any more contact with Jimmy. Thinking about him made it hurt even more just realizing that he isn't ever going to want to be my boyfriend. He doesn't know how I feel anyways...what would make him wanna be my boyfriend...?
The phone rang a few minutes ago. It was just Nick, bugging me to go out with me and telling me all the stuff he'd do if I went out with him and how much I'm hurting him by not going with him. Ha, yeah right. Give me a break, really.
I decided to call Jimmy after that. I don't know why. I kept telling myself I didnt wanna talk to him but I just wanted to hear his voice for some reason. Even if it hurt. I dialed up the number to his room. When he turned 14 his parents got him his own phone line and he gave it to me and everyone else that he associated with. I dialed the number, listening to the sound the phone made as I punched each number. The phone began to ring and I waited for him to pick up. I walked over to my window with my cordless to look across the street and see if he was even in his room. I saw him sitting at his desk. He wasn't paying attention to anything besides whatever was right in front of him. I hung up, tired of waiting and went to sit on my bed. No one was home at the moment so I thought to myself, "No one's going to hear my crying..." I tossed the phone down to the floor and dug my head into the pillows.
::I'm home alone again. And you're hanging out, with your friends, so you say; somehow I know it's not quite that way. Its getting pretty late and you haven't checked on me all day. When I called, you didn't answer. Now I'm feeling like you're ignoring me. I wish, that you were home, holding me tight in your arms. I wish, I could go back, to the day before we met and skip my regret.
I wish I wasn't in love with you, so you couldn't hurt me. It just aint fair the way you treat me. No you don't deserve me. Wasted my time thinking bout you and you aint never gonna change. I wish I wasn't in love with you so I wouldn't feel this way::
8:56 pm, Wednesday, April 7th
Got home a while ago. Another boring day at school with me hating Jimmy and Betty and Nick hitting on me. But then again, today was different.
It started at lunch. Everyone was outside on the cement benches and cement tables with the wood tops. They were all eating lunch, as was I. I'd brought my lunch. A ham and cheese sandwich with mayo, mustard and a few Lays regular potato chips. I was sitting with Libby, Sheen, Carl, Brittany and Jimmy. Since 9th grade, Carl and Brittany have been going out (to my utter amazement, of course). Well, I guess its ok. Carl's changed a lot. He isn't as repulsive as he used to be. He's slimmed down a bit, got contacts and now he spikes his hair so it doesn't look so weird. He's ok, I guess. Not my cup of tea though. I don't know why Jimmy wasn't sitting with Betty. They always sit together at lunch. He practically ditched us ever since they hooked up. That's why when I got to the table I said,
"Hey Jimmy, why aren't you sitting with your girlfriend?"
"I wanted to sit with you guys today," Jimmy replied in a cheerful tone.
"Uh huh, yeah..." I said on the morose side and sat down.
I looked over at the table that he and his new friends usually sat at. No one was missing from their little group, everyone was there talking and laughing. It made me sick.
"So is anyone going to talk or what?" Brittany complained and broke the silence amongst the table.
I felt so weird. I was sitting at a table with 2 couples and my crush, I was the only single person and my crush had a girlfriend. How sucky is that?
I just took another bite of my sandwich and watched a drop of mustardy-mayo drip onto the sandwich wrapper.
"Hi, Cindy." I heard a voice behind me and practically jumped out of my seat.
"What!? Oh..." I grimaced when I realized it was Nick.
"Can I talk to you?" Nick asked very politely. I had nothing better to do and no one was talking really so I just got up and went with him over to a big oak tree.
"Please Cindy, please listen to what I have to say," Nick started. I just rolled my eyes and said nothing.
"I don't know why exactly, but you don't want to go out with me. I don't think you understand how much I like you and I really wanna go with you. So please, just give me a chance. Please?" Nick asked, putting a pitiful expression on his face.
I thought about Jimmy and how he hadn't answered my call. How he'd ditched our group for his girlfriend's. How he acted like everything was ok when it really wasn't. How much he made me mad but how I still liked him. Yet I wanted to make him jealous, I wanted to do something. I couldn't go on being as pathetic as I had been.
"Ok Nick. Fine, I'll go with you. Happy?" I said.
"Great," Nick smirked. "Let's go to the Candy Bar after school, ok?"
"Sure, fine." I said and walked back to my table.
"What was that about?" Libby asked.
"Don't bother," I said and got up to throw my trash away. Libby looked at me strangely but continued to talk to Sheen.
After the last bell of the day had rung and I was at my locker, Nick came up to me. I was putting my books into my pink backpack when he walked up.
"Hey, you ready?" he asked.
"Do I look like I'm ready?" I grumbled as I grabbed another book from my locker.
"Touchy, touchy" Nick chuckled.
I zipped up my backpack and we left. I followed him outside and he unlocked his motor scooter from the bike rack.
"Wanna ride?" he asked.
"Ok," I lightened up. I'd always wanted to ride a motor scooter. I'd always asked for one for Christmas but never got one. Got everything else on the list but not a motor scooter. Figures...
He started it up and we rode all the way down the roads and across intersections. On the way I saw Betty and Jimmy walking on the sidewalk, holding hands. It made me want to scream and throw up at the same time but I couldn't let Nick (of all people) know how Jimmy's relationship with Betty affected me.
We continued on until we reached the Candy Bar. Nick hooked his motor scooter to the bike rack at the side of the building and we walked inside.
"Here, we can sit here." Nick walked over to a booth and sat down. I sat down on the opposite side. A waitress came over to ask us what we wanted.
"Triple scoop chocolate," Nick said. The waitress scribbled his order down on a notepad.
"You?" she looked at me.
"Um, double scoop tin roof, please." I said. The waitress left and it was just me and Nick.
I don't feel like writing the details of our conversation, but I can tell you, all that he talked about was himself. He never asked me anything about myself and he didn't really even give me any time to respond to things he said. Just enough time to say "hmmm". Sometimes I just had to nod because he wouldn't stop talking and let me talk. That was one of the things that I found and still find repulsive about him.
After we finished eating it was about 4:45 so we left.
"You wanna go through the park?" Nick said coolly.
"Ok," I said. What was the harm? Not like I actually planned on going out with him anymore. This was a complete waste of time and my life.
We walked through the park for about a half an hour. I don't really know how long because I didn't have a watch and neither did he. But by the time we stopped walking the sun was almost about to start going down.
"So I was thinking," Nick said, finally breaking the boring silence. "We should go to the movies tomorrow."
"Nick," I said with a hint of annoyance in my voice. "I'm not going out with you anymore. It was ok going out once but I don't want to be your girlfriend. You're just not my type, ok?"
Suddenly and without warning his hand slapped me across my face and I fell backwards from the shock. My eyes were wide and I felt my face, making sure I wasn't bleeding. Thankfully I wasn't but just before I was going to feel relieved I wasn't bleeding, I remembered he was still there.
"How dare you..." I growled at him.
"You think you're just gonna go out with me and then give me a bad reputation because you didn't wanna go out with me? Every girl in school wants to go out with me and I'm not letting some pathetic bitch like you ruin my reputation. Nick Dean is cool and if you wanna be cool, you go with me. You don't want to go with me..." he let it hang there. "You don't wanna think about that."
My heart started to pound in my chest and I stayed silent. He held out his hand to help me up. I hesitated but I took it and we walked back to the road. He walked me to my house and I went inside. Fortunately my mom and dad weren't in the living room and they didn't see me as I ran upstairs. I went into the bathroom and switched the light on. I walked over to the mirror to look at my face. There was a dark red hand print across my cheek and my eyes were started to water up. I left the bathroom and went into my room. I shut and locked the door and plopped down on my bed. I hid my face in the pillows, and cried softly.[A/N: OK you guys, how do you like them apples? lol. That's my first chapter. I hope it was long enough for you guys. Make sure you keep an eye out for the other chapters. Its gonna get really interesting, really soon. Peace]