Title:: All Figured Out

Author:: Lokaia

Disclaimer:: If they were mine, the show would be more interesting. And, ya know, STILL ON.

Notes:: This is my present to Leah. Totally out of the context of the show, but I needed a project and Leah needed some mind-candy.



The human jumped and looked up. Standing in the doorway of the Command Post was Radu, looking more nervous than usual. The Andromedan was picking at the fabric of his gloves and chewing on his lower lip.

Startled into compassion, Harlan took a few steps closer to the other man. "Yeah? What's the matter?"

Bits and pieces of fuzz began to fly from the gloves. "W-well, I..um, well, I need some advice. Uh. From you."

Harlan smirked. "Yeah, I figured 'from me'. What advice?"

"It's about Suzee. She..."

The grin dropped from Harlan's face just as quickly as it had come. "You want girl advice from me? About Suzee??"


Harlan shook his head. "Radu, you know I haven't had any more luck with her than you have. What am I supposed to tell you?"

"N-no!" The Andromedan's voice was surprisingly forceful. "I-I don't want her to notice me anymore! I want her to leave me alone!"

"What?" The human's eyes widened in surprise. "Why? Why the sudden change of mind?"

Radu's pale face flushed with embarassment and he found an interesting spot on the floor. "Well... she... she kissed me."

Harlan nodded. "Yeah. She kissed me too."

"But I didn't like it!"

A surprised silence filled the room for a few good seconds as both Harlan and Radu contemplated what he had just said. Radu spoke first.

"I-I didn't mean it like that..."

"Yeah, you did." Harlan cocked his head. "You didn't like it? Why not?"

Radu squirmed, leaning against the doorway. "I... I don't know. I just didn't like it. And now she won't leave me alone. I don't like her flirting anymore."

Another silence followed that while Harlan thought. "Okay. Well, what do you want me to do?"

"Tell me how to make her go away?" Radu's voice was a plead. His face suddenly reminded Harlan of one of those Precious Moments dolls his mother used to collect, with impossibly large eyes. He almost looked cute.

"You always annoy Suzee!"


"You want me to tell you how to piss her off?" Harlan demanded.

"No!" Radu said quickly. "I just want to know how to get her to stop flirting with me."

Harlan sighed. "I don't know. The way I figured it, you were doing just fine on your own. So much for that theory."

"Harlan, please? This is serious!" The Andromedan looked positively pained just from asking.

"Okay, okay. Just give me a minute to think." The human leaned against his console, exaggerating a thoughtful pose.

Radu, for his part, seemed slightly less nervous, and wandered about the Command Post. There were now tiny holes in his gloves, which meant he would have to change them later. He glanced at Harlan who had stopped his ridiculous pose and seemed to actually be considering Radu's request. When the Andromedan had asked for advice, he hadn't really believed Harlan would take it seriously. He had thought he would have been made fun of horribly first and ridiculed later--two entirely different terms with Harlan. Then again, why wouldn't Harlan help him? He wanted Suzee to himself, didn't he? Why wouldn't he want Radu out of the way?

Radu was called out of his own thoughts by the sound of footsteps in the outside hallway. Panicked, he ran to Harlan's side. "Harlan! Suzee's coming!"

The human smiled. "Don't worry about it. I've got a plan."

Nervous to the Nth degree and trying to force himself to trust Harlan, Radu stood next to the human and waited. "What's the plan?"

"How close is she?"

Radu listened for her advancing footsteps and made a guess. "Three meters or so."

"Ah. Just a few more seconds then."

Radu glanced at Harlan. The human seemed extremely calm, leaning against his console with a slight smile on his face. A few dredlocks were resting against his eyes, obscuring his vision, but he didn't particularly seem to mind. Harlan caught Radu's eye and grinned. "Okay."

"Okay wha--" Radu was cut off when Harlan stepped into him, holding his face in human hands and brought his face down to settle his lips against the Andromedan's. Both men's eyes were still open and the emotions in them were extremely plain. Radu's eyes screamed of shock and surprise, while Harlan's betrayed his laughter and satisfaction.

Radu felt pressure on his gloves and realized Harlan was holding them. He resisted against whatever the human was planning. That is, until Harlan's lips parted and drew Radu's bottom lip into his mouth.

Control was gladly relinquished.

Harlan led Radu's wrists around his waist, bringing the two men close enough that a toothpick could not have been dropped between them. Bringing his hands back to cup Radu's face, Harlan seperated their lips long enough to mutter, "Just go with it." Radu's hands twisted against the back of Harlan's uniform, involuntarily bringing him closer. Harlan grinned and kissed the Andromedan again, using his thumbs to close the pale eyelids. His own eyes slid closed just in time.

The doors to the Command Post opened.

"Hey, Harlan, Goddard wanted me to... tell... you..."

Harlan turned to face her, only moving his head. Grinning, he wrapped his arms around Radu's quickly reddening neck. "Hey, Suz. What'd he want?"

The Yensidian's expression was somewhere between having swallowed a very ripe lemon and having smelled something extremely bad. Perhaps both. "You have double ComPost duty!" she snapped, and whirled back out the way she had come.

Harlan turned back to the Andromedan he was currently in the arms of. The look of shock not quite warn off, Radu was staring at the jumptube with his mouth slightly open. "It... it worked."

Harlan scoffed. "Of course it worked. I told you it would."

"I... thank you." Radu turned back to Harlan, bumping noses.

"Not a problem," the human replied, grinning.

"Um... Harlan?"


"Should we let go of each other now?"