Mary-Sues Run Amok By Saeka

A/N: Yeah...this is more of a 'for fun' fic. Don't take me seriously. I'm just venting my rage at the overpopulation of Mary-Sues. Maybe there will be more chapters with Mary-Sues vs another character.

Mary-Sues vs Ryoma, Sakuno and Tomoka

::ding ding::

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Ryoma sipped casually at his Ponta. It was an incredibly hot day. Tennis practice had ended a few minutes ago and the young man had bought an icy Ponta to cool down. He narrowed his eyes.

"Knees bent," he shouted out casually at the pig-tailed brunette who was chasing after a tennis ball. Cheh, he thought while downing some more Ponta, this sucks.

Suddenly, a young girl materialized into the air in front of him. She had amazing silky black hair and stunning purple eyes. She had the perfect hourglass figure that most girls only dreamed of and was wearing a halter top and low cut jeans.

"Oh great," he snorted while taking another sip, "another one of them. This one's just mada mada compared to the others though."

"Oh Ryoma!" she sighed loudly while clutching her chest, "At last, we are reunited once more! I've but dreamed of this day for years and years. How I've missed you, my love!"

The boy gazed at her indifferently before returning to his interesting drink.

The strange girl simply stared at him for a moment before letting out a long wail.

"You're not supposed to do that!" she shrieked out angrily while stomping the ground with her tiny foot, "You're supposed to remember that I'm your long lost childhood friend who's actually Eiji's younger sister and Tezuka's love interest!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Ryoma while lifting an eyebrow, "Eiji doesn't have a younger sister like you and Tezuka is void of all human emotion."

A single tear dripped down the girl's cheek.

"Oh, my dear Ryoma," she said while placing her hand on his cheek, "They've brainwashed you, haven't they? I know who did that! It was Sakuno, wasn't it?!"

The girl pointed an accusing finger at Sakuno who had been concentrating on her practice the entire time.

"E-eh?" Sakuno opened her mouth in surprise, "Ryoma-kun, another one?!"

"Ho ho ho! It is I, Kagura!" said the girl loudly while doing a small mad dance, "I know you're trying to steal my Ryoma away from me, Sakuno! I KNOW!"

With this, Kagura leaped into Ryoma's lap who spluttered and choked on his drink. Hugging his head close to her, she pouted and glared at Sakuno.

"You cannot stop us! Our love will continue on through the ages!"

"N-nani?! This one's more persistent than the others," Ryoma said while desperately attempting to pull Kagura off who was now trying to slobber all over his face. He was beginning to think that she was a complete loony.

"A-anou...love throughout the ages...? That was...more original than the others I suppose.." Sakuno said while biting her lip, "Why do they always claim that I don't suit Ryoma?"

"That's right!" shrieked Kagura more crazily at Sakuno, "We are in love! We're going to get married someday right after I defeat all of the other tennis teams single-handedly with my amazing moves and charmingly good looks. And then...and then we're going to live in a little house by the sea and have lots of little children...and..."

A stupid grin spread like butter across Kagura's face as she continued on. Ryoma, however, was absolutely horrified inside at the drivel this girl was spouting although the feeling never surfaced to his face.

"Of course, I'm better than Ryoma at tennis," she said while poking her tongue out between her cherry red lips, "Oh yes, and I'm more sharp than Fuji...better than Eiji in acrobatics," she was counting on her fingers now with each impossible attribute she gave to herself, "faster than Kamio the speed devil, and much better than Tezuka in tennis because he's just completely in love with me. Well, almost everyone in Seigaku is but they're all jealous because I chose Ryoma."

Sakuno noticed Ryoma give a small eye twitch. She also noticed Tomoka approaching with a fiery and evil aura around her.

"What...are...you doing...with...my Ryoma-sama...before demanding MY permission as president of his official fanclub?" hissed out Tomoka angrily while gripping a steel pipe tightly, "Damn it, I can't stand you Mary-Sues that are running rampant through the city..."

Kagura let out a small squeak before cowering and hiding behind Ryoma.

"Save me, Ryoma! Save me! Those girls are trying to kill me because they're jealous that I'm your girlfriend," she whimpered while sniffing melodramatically into his shirt.

"May I take care of this one, Ryoma-sama?" said Tomoka with an evil tone. A sadistic grin spread across her face.

"Douzo," said Ryoma nonchalantly while throwing out his Ponta.

Kagura's screams could be heard reverberating off of the Seishun Gakuen school walls.

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a/n: Ah, much better. At first, I wasn't really thinking about posting this because I normally don't do any humor fics (I'm not very good at them). ( Oh, I just love killing Mary-Sues.