Five years...it had been five long years since he'd left her there. At the time, a few things ran through her mind. Standing alone next to the kind muslim man, she realized he wasn't coming with them. At the time...she had wanted to scream. She had wanted to cry. She had wanted to do anything, anything more than sit there and be abandoned. The thought of him was intoxicating. A smile tugged at her full lips as she remembered the childish ignorance she had, shaving her head to look like him, making those stupid, broken goggles to look like him. Gods no wonder he'd left her! She'd been a complete fool around him, a complete and utter fool! She'd acted like the immature child she really was around him. She closed her eyes and felt the warranted red heat rise into her usually pallid cheeks. Her hand formed an involuntary fist as she leaned back against her shower wall and fought not to weep.
Even now she'd still weep at the thought of his leaving her. She could have prevented it, she could have done more to stop him. She shouldn't have been so preoccupied getting off that ship, she should have waited for him to get off of the damned skiff too. Then, then she would have been sure he was by her side. But how could she know that he was going to betray her naive trust she put into his unworthy hands? Her young mind was on other things, the nightmare she just woke up from. She was thinking off Shazza...Why didn't she stay down? Why? Shazza had been so good to her, Shazza had been her friend...She was alone in her soul, though her mind screamed out that she had him...that was all that mattered. She lived that fairy tale, it was her dream, her story. No one could take that from her. She imagined living with him, every day a new adventure, more exciting than the last. That was her only dream back then. She hadn't had a dream since she was 6, when she dreamed of her parents quitting their beatings, and they would take her into their arms and hug her. She dreamed she would grow up to become a teacher, or an astronomer, and discover new information on the suns of the universe. She loved the sun on her home planet. Even now she could picture the glowing purple orb, with it's radiating red energy. It was so warm, so beautiful... Many a day she spent basking in particular sun's warmth, hiding on the roof of a garage in town, keeping out of her father's drunken reach.
They landed on New Mecca, the holy man's original destination before he got caught up in all of that planet's hell. She walked down the gang plank at his sid and turned to see his face following. She wanted to look into his goggles and see her smiling reflection. It was a sight she loved to see. In her lonely shower she laughed a bit as she remembered once when he was 'asleep' on the skiff, or so she had thought at the time. Her young innocent face got in real close to watch her reflection, admiring her own shaven head. Carrying on like that for a few minutes, he finally let out a snort and had told her not so politely to 'knock it off kid'. Man did that scare the crap out of her! But when she turned to look back at the skiff, to see that reflection, she was met instead by a closing door. Trying desperately to scramble up inside before the door shut, but Imam held her tight, "No child...he wants me to care for you, respect his wishes. He cannot worry about a 12 year old girl while worrying about himself." She wanted to scream at him, yell nasty names. More specifically she wanted to call him a coward, a coward for running away again. He was a coward for hiding. Her cold words took hold as her knees almost gave out in the deeply piercing sorrow enveloping her body. No, she couldn't think that way of him! Not of Riddick, not of her idol, her god... She didn't want to be safe with Imam. She wanted to live wild and free, and dangerous. Little did she expect Imam or him to understand that much, so instead she ripped her body from the holy man and sank to the dirty ground, hugging her knees.
Her mind was racing, flahsing with memories of him. His face flashed infront of her, appearing triumphantly in the mouth of that cave. His demeanor was caught up in a crooked smirk, a cocky smirk. Wide eyed, she had seen watched Johns lead him roughly through the aisle, and to the back of the passenger hold. Her frail body winced as she saw how coarse John was with him, even if he looked like he could handle all Johns did and more. Even though his face showed no emotion, he looked sad, he looked like a caged tiger in that restrictive case. Intently she watched as Carolynn keyed in the pin number that would rocket him into deep cryo sleep. Her young mind had wrapped around him immediately, not sure just why. She should have been scared, his hulking muscles should have reminded her of her dad. But they didn't, for some reason she felt safer now that he was on board with her. Had she gone mad? She played with the thought as she waited for her own body to be lulled to chemical induced sleep, hoping her dreams would revolve around a certain convict. On the trip across the planet, she saw his face as he stared calmly at her through his thick black goggles, lifting but one finger. It was as if she was connected to him mentally, the one simple gesture telling her a million words. That one finger was all the warning she needed to duck and avoid a great deal of pain.
She opened her eyes again, deciding the flashes of him were too painful to endure any more and she looked down. Tears travelled down the small rivers formed on her cheeks, trailing down it and dripping from her chin into the red dirt below her, making dark red spots. Dark red, like blood...how familiar was she with blood anymore? Through all the beatings with her father and mother she had been alright. With a determined look on her face, a few new bruises and scrapes, she'd collect herself off the floor and stand. When she lost Shazza, her first friend, she had been alright. She let the pain rush through her like an adrenaline rush, mourn for a bit, and then she stood. When she thought he was going to leave them that first time she had been alright. Because deep down, her youthful mind had wrapped around the knowledge that he was a killer. He was a cheat, and someone who cared only for his own skin. So honestly, she had expected this of him. Of course it hurt her, but she knew it was true. But he had come back, he had shown a different side, one that none of the others had expected either. It thrust him deeper into her heart than she had ever expected him to get. He was now a part of her, a very big part that she knew she would never be able to remove. Not now, not then, not ever.
Then just as suddenly as she wedged him into the missing pieces of her soul, he left her. Riddick just up and Left her with an even bigger missing chunk. Jack knew she couldn't keep going this way, she knew she had to battle this. So she cried her pain into the dusty red soil, burried it all inside...and she stood. She carried on the charade that she had been alright. The show she put on for Imam, and around everyone else was so convincing, that sometimes she even believed she was alright. Then he came back into her dreams, and she was crushed all over again. Jack had grown up from being that immature little girl. Her hair had grown out into long curly waves down her slender back. She was a grade A student, involved in half a dozen extra curricular activities. Sports, debates, tutoring... all that kept her going. It was easy to pretend you didn't care, when you just didn't have the time to care any more. It was the thought that he would come back for her...that was all she needed. She entertained that stupid thought for a good while. It wasn't until those long years slipped by she realized that he was not coming back. Riddick never would. That just drove her into deeper despair, and as her body blossomed, the despair became desire. Her cheeks would burn, her dreams became less innocent. Many a night she'd wake in a sweat, her body electric to the touch, her breathing ragged and sharp. Those nights, she desired to hold him, do whatever it took to keep him with her. She wanted to be taken away...why wouldn't he rescue her...come back and take her away from this boring life...she just...wanted to be held...by him. She wanted to be taken away.
It had been five years since that crash on the alien planet. Five years since she met her hero. Five years since her hero left her. Five years had passed and she still wanted to be with him...be with her dark angel, Richard B. Riddick.
((AUTHOR'S NOTE : Oh. My. GOD. I totally can't believe I actually put myself up to rewriting this, I'm gonna keep going before I lose my will! I hope you guys like the new style. Not telling you yet if the ending changes or stays the same. Not telling you if there's gonna be a sequel. To the old readers, and to the new- here's my present to you. A more mature 'Tainted Angel' for you to enjoy. Of course I don't own any of the characters of Riddick's Realm, though I desperately wish I did. *fans herself*))