Title: The Unavoidable Dick Joke
Author: Ang Griffen
Fandom: DCU- The New Titans
Pairing: Starfire & Robin I, but gen
Archive: Ask first.
Disclaimer: DC's, sucka.
Kory stormed into the rec room, and grabbed Dick by his tunic, slamming him back against the wall. "I am very angry with you," she said.
"Uh. What?" Dick asked.
"You have lied to me about your name. Today I was reading Donna's novels. The ones with the large blond men on the covers, and your name was in the narration, but it was not a name. I asked Donna, and she said that it was a word for 'penis,' and that people didn't use it in... 'polite society.'" Kory's eyes narrowed, and Dick was relatively sure they were glowing a brighter green than usual. "You thought it would be funny to trick me into saying something embarrassing. Well, it is not funny. It was cruel."
Dick blinked a few times at the absurdity of the situation, because if Kory killed him over his name, he wasn't sure how the Titans would explain that one to Bruce. "Kory, I wasn't being mean. It is a name."
"A name that is also a word that polite people do not say?" Her grip on his tunic tightened. "Did you not wish to tell me your true name, Robin?"
Dick was pretty sure he ought to be pleading for his life, but all he could get his mouth to say was, "You were reading Donna's porn? Donna has porn?"
"She called it 'erotica,' I believe."
"This is not the issue." Kory's face was mere centimeters away from Dick's, and not in the sexy, happy, fun way. She was… remarkably strong. His feet definitely weren't touching the floor anymore.
Dick squirmed a little in Kory's grip. He didn't want to have to hurt her over something so dumb. "Look, I promise you. It's a name. It's a nickname for Richard, like we call you Kory instead of Koriand'r."
"It does not sound like 'Richard.'" Kory replied, but her grip on his tunic loosened a little.
Dick sighed. Stupid name. "Well, we call people named James 'Jim,' and people named Margaret 'Peg,' and people named Robert 'Bob.' It doesn't make a lot of sense."
"But why would you be named something that means 'penis?' Is it traditional?" Kory looked somewhat less angry now.
"Um. Not really," Dick answered.
"Does it indicate prowess? Does it imply father's pride? I do not understand." Her grip on his tunic loosened considerably as her eyes widened in curiosity.
Dick had absolutely no idea what to say to that. "Look, it's just a nickname. Don't you guys have homonyms on Tamaran?"
Dick's feet were touching the ground again, so he just slung an arm around Kory's waist, and led her off to the library. "I think you need a date with a dictionary."