Forgive Me 'Cause I Love You
By: Jae (Dirtyangel, The Original Dirtyangel)
Original Archived Date: July 07, 2004
Revised: June 27, 2007
Originally Archived: FF . net , AFF . net
Note: PLEASE READ CAREFULLY.
Disclaimer: Naruto and all its characters are the properties of Masashi Kishimoto. No profit is made off of this fan-fiction story. Any additional original characters located in this story are designated at such and belong to the author, Jae (Dirtyangel).
Overall Ratings: T-M
Warnings: This fiction contains: YAOI/Slash (homosexuality), Het (heterosexuality), Violence, Angst, Gore, Strong Coarse Language
Main Pairing(s): SasuNaru, NaruSasu, NaruOC
Summary: Naruto has left the Leaf, believing it's his duty. No one knows where he went or what he's been doing over the years. But after more than a decade the blond returns, uprooting a multitude of questions and feelings. This is a different Naruto, but it seems he's still number one at surprising.
It's a new year and I suppose a new preface is warranted. The only other way I could think to start this off is with an apology to all the readers that have stuck with me since 2004 and those that have come along in the years since. It's hard not to notice the disappointment I've cause some of you with the long four year hiatus that started in 2008. As the emails, reviews, and PMs continued to pop up in my inbox even after two years had gone by and surprisingly more frequent in the past months of this year; it dawned on me that there was this responsibility I had. I had put something out there and now had a following. The least I could do is understand their expectations as a fellow fan.
A lot has happened since 2008 and I've personally had to go through a variety of life changes that made writing not so important at the time. I'd even fallen out of love with the fandom itself. But regardless of all of that, there was no denying how touching the resilience you all have for this story is. So, this time I don't intend to make any promises but to just do instead. Hopefully, I'll be able to justify the faith you guys have had in me and this fic.
—Jae (Oct, 2012)
An Open Letter
My life here in Konoha has opened my eyes to the harsh reality that I don't belong here. I feel like my existence is a virus infecting this body known as the Leaf. I've dealt with the scorn, the hatred, and the ostracism given to me so readily by the villagers. I've fought these for many years and have spent most of my life trying to overcome them; but I can't find it in myself to fight anymore. Things have begun to slowly slip out of my control.
So, here I am, writing this letter. I've put away my mask of flamboyant ignorance, so there's no more pretending. It's about time I was completely honest with you.
I can't be here anymore and I think that's something we all know within ourselves. I've grown up in the midst of all this contempt and it gets harder each day to tell myself I don't mind. Deep down, I could never hate Konoha. It's the village that nurtured me into the person I am today. I will always love it. But I can't deny my own resentment.
It makes me both sad and angry that I feel this way. I don't want to but I do. This happy place doesn't deserve the presence of a vile demon like me, so I have to leave.
By the time this note is found I'll be long gone. Please, don't try to find me. I'll make sure that you don't. I've thought this through and believe that it's for the best.
This is my goodbye. Take care of yourselves; Tsunade-baachan, Ero-Sennin, Iruka, Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke. I love you all dearly, know that, and I want you to live happily and contently, especially Sasuke. Even a teme like him holds a place in my heart.
This is it. No more Kyuubi. Your sixteen year curse is over.
(The Lost Rokudaime)
Looks like you'll be holding onto that hat and cloak a little while longer, old hag.