What 'Love' Means to Me

By theladyknight

Summary: What if it had been Sora and not Mimi who had moved to New York. Through the help of some old memories, Yamato explains how "Love" affected him and changed his life...(SORATO)

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon or any of the characters in it. "Feel" is the property of Robbie Williams, so don't sue me!

-According to the fanfiction administrators, lyrics can't be added in the fics. So, today, the 27th of April 2005, I've decided to go back and do the laborious task of taking them out, while at the same time revamping this story. I always thought it could be better, so here's my chance...-

Chapter 1: Feel

I've always hated the rain. For some reason, I've been cursed with the unfortunate luck of receiving horrible news whenever it rains. It started back when I was a kid. My little brother and I were playing outside when tiny droplets of water began their descent.


"C'mon Keru, we've gotta get inside!"

My brother turned to look at me with a pout on his face. "But Yama…we were having so much fun." Takeru gave a laugh as the rain began to show its wrath. "I wanna jump in the puddles!"

I laughed too. "Mom and Dad won't be happy if we get sick. How 'bout we come back out after the rain stops and splash in the puddles?"

"Promise?" he asked me, blue eyes growing larger.

"Promise." I smiled. "Now let's get inside. The two of us headed into our apartment building, racing each other up the stairs. Mom and Dad were seated in front of us on the sofa, one on each end.

"Yamato, Takeru," my mother began, "your father and I have something to tell you."

"Are we getting a pony?" Takeru exclaimed, "I've always wanted a pony!"

My father cleared his throat. "No son, we're not going to be getting a pony. What your mother and I want to say," he cast a nervous glance at his wife, "is that…Yamato and I…well, we're going to be moving to another apartment…"

"But why?" Takeru asked suddenly. "I wanna stay with Yama."

My mother chose this opportunity to speak up. "Takeru, honey, you're going to be staying with me. We're going to be living right here!"

"No! Why do Yama and Daddy have to move?" He asked, tears beginning to form in his eyes. My mom and dad avoided each others gaze, and I knew what was happening. There would be no more brawls at 2:00 in the morning, no more screaming matches during dinner…then it hit me: no more living with my brother.

"Why!" I yelled, standing up, my quick temper, which wouldcome to develop more in the future,getting the better of me. "Why are you putting us through this. If you really loved us you would never do this! Don't you care about anyone other than yourselves?" I got up and walked to my room, slamming the door. I could care less if it made a racket, broke a picture frame, or frankly about anything else. I sat down on my bed, trying to cool myself down. With a creak, my door opened. I turned to yelled at whomever it was who decided to barge in on me only to see it was my little brother.

"Yama," he asked quietly. Takeru was barely able to contain his tears. "Do Mommy and Daddy hate us?" he asked.

I turned to face him, not noticing the tears beginning to form in my eyes as well. "No, Keru, they don't hate us. They just," I had to think of a way to explain it to him, "they just…you know how when two people love each other and want to be with each other, they get married."

"Yeah," he answered, sniffling. I wiped the tears off my little brother's face.

"Well, Mom and Dad, they…they don't love each other like they used to. You know how they always yell at each other. They want to live apart from each other so they don't yell at each other anymore." I explained.

"But…but why do they have to separate us?" My little brother asked.

A tear fell down my face, the last one I would cry for a very long time. "I...I don't know, Keru." I gave my little brother a hug as the door opened once again.

It was my father. "Yamato, its time for us to go."

"But…" Takeru started.

My father looked guilty for a moment before brushing the feeling off. "No buts, son. Let's go Yamato." My father grabbed a hold of my hand and led me away from my brother. As we walked down the stairs, well, my father walked, I was pulled, I looked over my shoulder and saw the last of my brother I would until the digital world adventure. At that point in my young life, as we walked through the bitter cold downpour, I vowed never to let anyone get close to me because in the end they would only hurt me. As our van drove off and we drove off into the violent storm, I remembered my promise to Takeru. And from that point on I hated the rain as well.

End Flashback

From then on, whenever the rain let down its fury upon the earth, I always seemed to receive bad news. I found out about my dog Smokey's death on a day full of rain, lightning, and thunder, as well as my great-uncles death, a failed math test, and many other things I could not even begin to describe.

Rain still affected me now, even at the age of fifteen, a teenager ready to enter my last year of junior high. I sat in my room, playing my guitar and watching the water droplets pound against my window. I knew today would be no different than any other rainy day. As if knowing my thoughts, the phone rang.

I hesitated at first but then decided not to delay the inevitable. "Hello,"

"Yamato?" a small, sad voice asked. I recognized it as that of one of my two best friends.

"Oh, hey, Sora." Instantly I knew something was wrong. Not just because of the rainy day curse but because Sora was never one to be down or dreary. Sora always wore a brilliant smile that covered her face and always made anyone around her happy. Well, she is the bearer of love and always there for any of us chosen children. I have to admit, of all us digidestined, Sora understands me the best. She's the one I'll go to if I have a problem. I can put on my usual mask to cover my problems with anyone but her. She can always see through and sense if something is wrong.

Sora and I have become quite close ever since our adventure in the digital world. She, Taichi, and I will be entering our final year at Odaiba Junior High, and the three of usare still the best of friends.

The digital world adventure marked an incredible turning point in my life. It really affected the person I've become and the way I live my life. Before that summer camp, the one I so grudgingly was forced to attend, I was alone. Sure, I had friends, but none of them really understood me and were there the way I would have liked.

Camp changed me, though. The campers there changed me. The story's fairly simple, so I won't linger on the details. We all went through thick and thin together, good and bad, right and wrong choices, the whole works. But we faced every one of those endeavors together. The people I met at camp and the relationships I formed have come to mean so much to me. Every one of my friends plays a strong role in my life, and over the past few years, the role Sora plays has only grew.

She's like the older sister to everyone. I can't even begin to fathom the number of times she broke up the chaotic arguements between Taichi and me, looked out for Takeru, or guided one of us back onto the right moral path. But sometimes, sometimes I wonder if there is ever anything more than friends in our future. Yes, I'll admit it, I have a tiny crush on Sora. I can't really say how long these feelings have grown. My guess is that they were planted back during the digi world adventure, fed and nutured through our years following, and finallynow sprouting for me to see.

But I don't really want to act on these thoughts for a variety of reasons.We're only fourteen. No matter how many different media outlooks proclaim "love at first sight", I'll be the first to disagree. I don't want to delve into a romantic relationship, mainlybecause of the impactmy parents' divorce had on me. And I have no ideahow it wouldaffect ourown relationship orrelationships with our friends. That also brings up the point of our otherbest friend, Taichi. He and Sora have been the best of friends since they were in diapers, and I'm pretty sure they both have long since developed a crush oneach other. It would be wrong, moving in on something like that. But right now, I don't have time to worry about that.

"Sora, what's the matter?"

I heard a sniffle from the other line. "Yama, I, I'm moving."

I was silent. I had to be sure I heard her right. "Moving where, Sora?"

She whispered the next part. "New York."

"America!" I exclaimed. "Why?"

"My father wasoffered a teaching position at a major universtity. It's a once-in-a-lifetime offer. Everyone's been telling him to go.The job just happens to be in New York."

"But…" I didn't want to complain. It wasn't her fault. Besides, if I was angry I can only imagine what she's feeling. "Sor, I'm sorry."

"Me too, Yama. I don't want to go. All my friends are here, everything I know is here."

"Hey," I began soothingly. "If you need someone to talk to or let your anger out to, just call me anytime, okay."

She sniffled again. "Thanks, Yama. I have to go call Mimi. I'll talk to you later."

"Later." I repeated and hung up the phone. God, how I hate the rain.

A/N: So what'd you think? I promise there'll be much more Sorato in the next few chapters. PLEASE review; I want to know what you all think!