The Batman Vignettes
by Silver Meteor
Since disclaimers on FF.net are now forbidden to be in the common chat-form, today's disclaimer is brought to you by the letter , in pure, prose form.
Silver Meteor is seated at a table in a darkened room, shuffling a deck of cards. If I could be a super hero, I would be, Justice Guy, she sings under her breath. Making sure people get what they deserve, especially women who liiiiiiie. . .
What are you doing? comes the deep, gravely voice from the darkness.
Silver Meteor jumps a bit in her seat, and let's out a small Once she realizes that it was just Batman doing his sneaky-sneaky-stealth-bat thing, she calms down. Me? I was shuffling cards. While waiting for you to show up.
Batman steps into the light, which happens to be coming from a bare light-bulb hanging over the table. What for? he asks suspiciously.
Well, I could say the disclaimer that states that I, Silver Meteor, does not own Batman (that's you) or his animated series, the rights are not mine, etc., and that the idea for these vignettes came from Sarah Noble, whose Harry Potter Vignettes (staring Snape) are funnier than seeing Batman doing the hokey-pokey. Silver Meteor turns to look at Batman, and adds But it felt wrong getting started without you.
Well, next time you can say it then.
Batman increases his glare. Can we get this over with?
Silver Meteor nods violently, jumps out of her chair, and pulls out a laptop, seemingly from nowhere. YES WE CAN! CHAAAAAAARGE!
BATMAN FEELS LIKE IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE
That's it! cried Batman, tearing off his cowl in frustration.
Startled, Robin, the Boy Wonder, looked up from his crossword puzzle. What's up, Boss? he asked curiously.
Batman, the Capped Crusader, turned toward Robin and pointed behind him, at the Batcave. How can you STAND this? he asked him.
Um. . . said a confused Robin, . . . stand what?
How can you stand the absolute dreariness? It's like all the cheer has been sucked out of you! Who was in charge of decorating is what I'd like to know.
Robin stared at Batman, dumbstruck.
Batman turned away to face the rest of the cave. The lighting is HORRIBLE, the giant penny clashes with that dinosaur, there's dust EVERYWHERE, and who on earth needs a computer monitor this big? the Dark Knight said, counting on his fingers.
Robin, terrified, began to edge toward the stairs that led out of the cave.
Oblivious, Batman kept at it. And I mean, hasn't anyone ever heard of color scheme? It's all, Black black black!' Helloooo? Anyone who hasn't been living under a rock knows that orange is the new black!
Say, Robin? he said, turning towards his faithful sidekick.
Robin froze, halfway from the stairs.
Whataya say we take the rest of the night to redecorate? asked the Batman. I'm thinking, a pink and orange motif, with matching curtains.
cried Robin, as he threw himself into one of the many pits of the Batcave to escape.
Okay, the bottomless pits will be the first things to go, nodded Batman in agreement.